CARLOS XUMA'S NEWSLETTER:
"VALENTINE'S DAY SUCKS!" EDITION
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
VALENTINES DAY F***ING SUCKS
I bet you've said that once or twice, haven't you?
Look, even the holiday, soul-sucking companies out there
know you feel this way. I went to a dating site that had a poll on their front
page that had two choices: Yes! It's Valentine's Day! and Valentine's
Day SUCKS!
Even the marketing groups out there know that the only
people who like this holiday are already IN a relationship.
The rest of the world hates it because it represents what we DO
NOT have.
And that represents PAIN.
It's ironic that one holiday could
stir up so much love AND hate.
Let me tell you a short and personal story about Carlos.
This year, I decided to do something wonderful for Valentine's day for the
girl I was seeing.
I broke up with her.
I can hear the gasps out there.
Yes, it's true. I love this woman, but I realized that
our timing was off, and she could not give me what I wanted.
And to get the healing she needed I couldn't really give her what
she wanted, either.
So I ended it.
Just a few days before the most "romantic" holiday of
the year.
How is it that I can do this? Am I some kind of angry, cynical guy?
No, not at all.
I am just keenly aware that the most important thing is
to create a lifestyle that satisfies ME first, and then the people that I
care about in the world. If I don't do that FIRST, they can sense it, and
other people will be suspicious of your character, because it shows that you
do things to GET, not to just GIVE.
So now I'm alone...
Or am I?
No, I'm never really alone. I've got my dog, my family,
my friends, my own fun lifestyle.
But the ultimate reason I was able to make this leap into
the unknown was because of two very integral beliefs that I have installed
in myself:
1) I am better
off alone than with the wrong woman
2) I can meet
another woman just like THAT (sound of fingers snapping)
So I do not have a scarcity mindset. I don't feel like
I have to be desperate to keep a relationship going just because I'm afraid
I won't find another one.
Isn't that something that every guy should experience?
I believe so, and I'm going to share some special
information on how you can make that experience real for yourself
at the end of this newsletter.
It's through the power of conversation and persuasion...
Read on...
QUESTION: She
left him a note...
Thank you so much for those tips and advice ... I must
admit that I got more inner strength to go on after reading [your advice.]
However, something prompted my re-writing. When
I returned home one evening, I met an envelope hanging on my door. It is
supposedly from my ex, who denied sending a written note to me when I phoned
her to ask.
The note says that she’s resolved forever not to marry me, but she’s being friendly
with me because she now views me as a brother. Hence, I shouldn’t persist
because we are not going to be in any relationship. She also added that she’ll
not entertain calls from me. Anytime, I display kindness to her, I believe
she becomes disturbed and sends such notes.
The king, please advice me of what to do. How should I handle this current
situation?
- J
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Throw the note away and laugh hysterically at her neurotic
behavior. Then you sleep warm and happy, knowing that:
A) You don’t
have this crazy chick tied to you for the rest of your life -
AND
B) She won't take
you for half of everything you own after she hooks up with the pool boy.
Really, what kind of a woman leaves notes like this?
Now, after you get over that initial rush of gratitude
at how lucky you are,
go out tomorrow and find ten new QUALITY women.
Quality is spelled:
- SANE
- SMART
- LOVING and GIVING
- ATTRACTIVE
Go get busy…
QUESTION: She
Tested Him in a Chat Room ... Here's
how you pass the test:
I met my first online girl on myspace.com. I e-mailed her and she replied.
We sent a few back and forth and I got her to use AIM, That's AOL Instant
Messaging.
We chatted a few times. I asked her if she was seeing anyone.
She said she was kind of seeing someone from college. He kept bugging her
and she said she needed some time to think, some space. Well they got into
a fight and he called her friend a bitch. She told me she smashed the cell
phone.
Well a day or two later I was chatting with her and I asked her for her home
phone number.
She got all silent. So I tested her and said" Do you need time to think
about it?" She said " a little bit"
Well 3 days later there she was right at 8 on AIM. We talked for a while
then I asked her for her phone number.
me - Hey give me your number so I can get ahold of you sometime offline
her - my phone is broke lol
her - seriously
me - like your regular phone?
me - well anyways last time I asked you
me - I said do you need time to think about it
me - you said a little
me - so I gave you a little
me - what's the deal?
me - I'm not a freak you know
her - i never said you were
me - well I'm just saying
me - so your telling me you have no phone what so ever?
her - all i have is my cell
me - what do you do send people smoke signals?
her - are you being a smartass?
me - just kidding
me - so you have no home phone then?
her - no need for one we have dsl
me - oh so you have no cable?
her - lol
her - yes we have cable
her - but its against my religion to watch gay tv shows
me - See we here have cable internet
me - so we also have a home phone
her - well im not paying for a home phone and hillary dont talk on the phone
at all, maybe shes the one that sends smoke signals
me - well the problem i have with this is what you said
me - you said you needed a little time
me - that's all I'm saying
me - if you just want to chat fine
her - whats the rush here, you going somewhere in a hurry?
My game needs work. I learned a lot from that.
Care to say anything about it?
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Guys, read that first part of his email where the girl
says that other boyfriend was bugging her (i.e., pressuring her), and that
she ran from that. This is typical. The Alpha Man has no need to PUSH.
He LEADS.
For a first time this is actually pretty good. You kept
things on a lighter level. But this is also a great example of a chat situation
gone wrong. (Sorry, you knew that already, didn't you?) So let's do the post-mortem
and improve your game...
What exactly went wrong here?
Well, first of all, I realize that Myspace is a stomping ground for a lot
of college guys, so chatting on AIM is inevitable. But wherever possible,
please get women into the real world as soon as possible. You attempted to
do this, but you weren't successful.
Why didn't you get her number?
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
It happened here: So I tested her
and said, "Do you need time to think about it?" She said " a
little bit"
BOOM! Right there, dude.
What exactly were you testing? If she was ready to talk
to you?
That was the problem. This is not a good way
to test women back. (I cover the right way in many of my programs. Most
recently, the Alpha
Conversation program). If you "test the waters" like
this, you only make yourself look wimpy and ... well, flaccid.
There's a rule in sales: "When
you ask a closing question (to get them to buy), SHUT UP. The first person
to speak, loses."
There you go. You lost.
You let your insecurity
get the better of you. She could have been hesitant, or she could have been
reaching for her coke. You let the silence trip you up, and she smelled
hot "wuss" right out
of the oven.
Everything you said after that just bought
right into her frame of control.
You sounded defensive and insecure. You became reactive and
scared at this point, which she picked up on.
Note also the ratio of your typing
to her typing. I highlighted hers in red. You projected low value by being
so INTO her that you couldn't stop your comments. Next time, let
her do more writing. Leave more pauses in where she can wonder if she is the
one losing you.
Capisce?
Next time, here's what you say:
"Give
me your number. I need to find out if your voice is one of those high-pitched
squeaky kinds that sound like nails on chalkboard. Or do you sound like
Ray Charles?"
TEASE TEASE TEASE.
Get her so agitated with sexual
frustration that she has no choice but to
act on it.
Another problem point in the chat came here:
her - are you being a smartass?
me - just kidding
You backed down right away when she challenged you. This
was a critical point in the conversation where she needed to be challenged
right back.
HER: Are you being a smartass?
YOU: "What if I am? You going to spank
this smart, cute ass? Don't get any ideas. I'm not that easy, brat."
OR:
YOU: "It's what you need, sweetie...
you're probably used to guys who just kiss your butt... You need a smarter
ass."
If you need to learn more about how to handle
conversation and communication with women, then you need to get
a look at my new program:
CLICK
HERE: Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion.
Women are attracted to the leader.
The Alpha Man.
Look, the reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying my own inner
psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things make a difference
and will genuinely help you improve your inner game
with women.
When a woman detects that you've got passions and direction in your life
- even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Shitty as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
Click here to read about the Alpha
Man program.
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man now... Click HERE
to learn more...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now cd series. I have to tell you that
after reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help
but feel like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control
my emotions and have responded to them instead of them responding
to me. I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards
and not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope
that if I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies
to be in my life. One big thing too, if a woman sees that I have
things going on in my life, the tend to be more interested instead
of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it,
but have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where
I want to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank
you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the cd's four or five times now !
"The
confidence I've gained in meeting da ladeez at work and socially
has been tremendous. I was never skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned
as how I would notice the changes in myself. The clincher was when
several of my closest friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence
in so many ways!
"Thank you so much
for your hard work for making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Teddy
Shabba of Dating Advice Coach Reviews The
Dating Black Book:
"Too many books dealing with
meeting and dating women focus on techniques instead of the basic fundamentals
of what actually attracts women to men.
In fact this is the main reason why so many nice
guys have problems actually getting any further than the first few dates
with women and that's if they find the courage to actually use the techniques
on women.
However, Carlos Xuma in his book The
Dating Black Book shows men the basic fundamentals of attracting
and being successful with women.
The
Dating Black Book starts off explaining the importance of actually
improving yourself and building self confidence to attract women.
If you are looking for a sugar coated version of
what it is going to take then this is Not the book for you.
After covering the different aspects of your inner
game as well as how to build your self confidence, Carlos moves on to
actually show you how to find a girlfriend or women for a long-term
relationship.
Many times men have a tendency to get comfortable
with a woman quite early and end up in a relationship they do not want
and do not know how to get out of.
The
Dating Black Book helps you understand what to look for in a good
woman and what to watch out for in a Not so good woman.
To finish off the book, Carlos quickly covers the
basics on sex as well as some additional resources for men to read that
will help improve a man's life in general.
Overall, if you have ever read anything that Carlos
Xuma has written on dating and women then you already know that he has
a lot of very useful information and knowledge to give men, and The
Dating Black Book will help you get even more of that information
and knowledge.
I would highly recommend this book to the majority
if not all Nice Guys or Recovering Nice Guys out there who are struggling
with some of the concepts and techniques that other guys teach.
If you want to just be yourself and attract women
then The
Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma is for you..."
- Teddy Shabba - Dating Advice
Coach.com
|
Did you hear my interview with The Dean?
Get it HERE:
Carlos Xuma's Dating Advice Interview with the Dean
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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