Why is she sleeping with
her 'friend' instead of you?
|
NEWSLETTER
Carlos Gives You the Truth About Dating and Attraction...
To make sure you continue to receive
Carlos' dating advice in your inbox (and that it is not sent to bulk or
junk folders), please add
advice @datingdynamics.com and admin
@datingdynamics.com to your address book.
QUESTION:
Last year I met a 40 year old woman (but she looks to be in her late 20's)
at work. Acting cocky and humorous, I got her to notice me.
We went out for drinks the first time around and I told her that I had a
girlfriend. Being the kind of person she is, she didn't act on her attraction
towards me.
The second time we went out for drinks I kind of blew it by being somewhat
crude in my approach, and not being as cocky towards her as how I initially
started out.
Today she knows I am single but now she's sleeping with a guy she refers
to as just her friend but cannot see herself being with him in the long run.
Question: How do I rekindle her initial attraction to me that I know that
she felt for me initially??
What steps do I have to make to magnify those seeds of attraction?
CARLOS ANSWERS:
So now she's sleeping with a guy who offers no relationship potential, huh?
Gee. That's a new one.
(Sarcasm
intended.)
She's attracted to him and staying with him because he's showing her challenge.
He's not smothering her or rushing her into a relationship.
Well, we don't need to go into all the reasons why she's with him, just look
at the ways you can trade places with him.
1) Are you still in
contact with her? If so, you need to be using those contacts to deepen
her attraction. If you're seeing
her on purely friendship terms -- STOP IT! You're ruining
your chances, and you'll never be able to break out of the "friend" zone.
2) How did she act when she knew you were single? Did she change her behavior
from then to now in any way? If she did, she was probably stirred by the prospect
of you suddenly being in demand by another woman.
3) Ignore your 'competition.'
Just do everything better than he has been. Or everything that he's stopped
doing, 'cause I guarantee you he has stopped doing what he needs to, or will
soon. Don't ever act jealous of him or even acknowledge him.
It sounds like
the fact that she told you that there was no relationship potential with this
guy is her way of telling you that she's open to the possibility of the next guy.
(Remember: Some women just don't like to be alone.
She could be lining up her next Knight in Shining Armor in advance.)
(continued ... )
Start joking with her in a cocky way that she knows she wants to 'trade up.'
Tell her she should 'act now, before she misses her opportunity.' Make it
slightly joking, but slightly serious as well.
4) You should probably express your romantic interest in her via non-verbal
means. You need to get her attraction mechanism started. I suggest going out
to drinks and showing her some confidence and mystery.
Talk about some deep, non-sexual topics. (But avoid
therapy-talk.) Get her to open up about her emotions. Then start showing
her that you *might* be interested in her romantically.
Hold her glance
too long. *Accidentally*
Brush her hand with yours. Leave her wondering, "Is
he digging me?"
The bottom line here would be to make sure you two are
not behaving as friends, or even letting this go non-romantic in any way.
Don't let her think that you're just a guy friend that she can unload on,
or just go out on *platonic* activities. She has to feel the sexual
tension and energy.
(All the while, make her know that you're not waiting around on her. She
has to know she can't just dilly dally around on the sidelines.)
You have to be willing to lose her as a friend to gain her as a lover. After
the amount of time you've known her, she should know whether or not her interest
is there. She'll convey that interest level through her actions (not necessarily
through her words.)
You just have to be funny, confident, alluring (mysterious), in control (self-control
of your wimpy tendencies), and a challenge. Be playful, be unpredictable.
But do SOMETHING other than what you have been.
As a famous man once said, you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll
keep getting what you've been getting.
Now, if you want to get something different, you should get the
Secrets.
CLICK HERE
QUESTION:
Carlos, - I have a quick question for you - there is this girl I have met
and like, and while at college, we get on really well, - she said to ring
her at the weekend and see if she wanted to do anything, - so I did and
got a lame excuse about her forgetting, and agreeing to meet a friend...
Now dont get me wrong, I get on with women well,
abut the main problem I have is getting them to meet up outside of places
like college & work
and I have tried different approaches, so I was hoping you would have some
fail-proof ways of getting them to want to.- any tips would be much appreciated.
- cheers mate .
Michael, UK
CARLOS ANSWERS:
I get a lot of emails from guys that want me to
be clear that they are "doing
just fine" with women, except for this ONE sticking point.
Well, assuming this is true, you have a situation that is not that hard to
fix.
The first step is to STOP looking for foolproof solutions.
THERE ARE NONE!
Trust me, I've tried them ALL, and the one sure thing you have to realize
is that there are no sure things.
Except one: If you're authentic and true to yourself, and if you act from
a core of compassionate POWER (masculine, dominant, leader) you will have
more overall success than you know what to do with.
(continued ... )
DOWNLOAD
OUR LATEST CATALOG FREE HERE
So stop looking to avoid risk and the possibility of failure.
Only losers
spend all their energy trying to avoid the possibility of failing.
Read that last line again.
Next step: Start being more clear and assertive with women when you first
meet them. This girl flaked on you like this because you didn't really cement
in the good feeling and fun, and then you probably failed to start it back
up when you talked on the phone.
Reasonably sane women will not refuse a date with someone they think is fun
and cool.
You need to lock in a more vibrant air about you,
and close her more definitely when you've got the good vibes going. Don't
leave it so vague the next time. You need to make a statement that shows
your interest in her at some point so she isn't left with an empty feeling
of "failure to launch."
I hear some contradiction in your email that I want
to point out. You say you "get on with women well," but you're not getting results. I
suggest you re-evaluate your definition of "get on well." Perhaps
you're getting good energy on the first meeting, but you're lacking in the
ability to close successfully.
I'm not always so clear on the reality of the situations guys write in about
because there are a lot of guys who delude themselves as to their real level
of success with women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Shitty as that is, there is a cure for the common Single Guy. It's called
EDUCATION.
If you could learn secrets to attract women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
When you understand the Secrets
of the Alpha Man, this becomes more and more
clear...
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
Click here and read about the Alpha
Man program.
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man now... Click HERE
Do you want to start learning how to dramatically
improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven
methods?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine
and start showing her a real Alpha
Man? And it doesn't require you to be some fake "pickup artist" to attract
women. It's actually about bringing out more of YOU than you have before.
And if you'd like to learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should
take a look at the program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion.
This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with
women.
If you want to hear what everyone has to say about
these books, go to the site and read the reviews.
And then download them now to see why more men get success with my
advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
"Carlos -
"In the short time that I've been tuned in to your advice in
its many forms (newsletters, podcast, blogs, etc.) I've seen real
(or is that R.E.A.L.?!) tangible results in my life that go above
and beyond success with women.
"When I saw that you were offering the Alpha
Immersion DVD set, you had me at "Hey, check out my new program...".
"Wow. I have to say it's by far the most comprehensive set of
tools - hell, attitudes - I've ever come across in my foray
into the "data advice/guru" quagmire. And it is a
quagmire - there's so much out there, and so much of it lacking. I liken
a majority of it to the quick fixes peddled by snake oil salesmen in
the old west.
"Building a lifestyle and a mindset based in the Alpha principle
has turned out to be life-altering. Attracting women is but a mere -
albeit welcome - side effect.
"While into the program, I can't tell you how many times I found
myself going, "Ahhhhh...." as in "Eureka" even when
you would relate the smallest detail (everything from, "so THAT's
what I've been doing wrong," to "oh, THAT's what women think.") I've
made it through the
4-DVDs once so far, and I'm already looking, feeling, and acting
better... being a better MAN...
"The biggest thing I've gotten out of the
Alpha Immersion program - thus far - is the philosophy of "Just
act...now". There is no substitution for ACTION. And it's incredibly
effective when coupled with the skills and knowledge - both the basic
and the advanced - that you relate. One can watch and read all he wants,
but it's useless without action. Your inspiration and tips on HOW to
just act have made it worthwhile.
"In closing - thanks. I have to say, also, that my purchase process
was quick and easy, and my materials were delivered promptly. A pleasant
suprise. I've done my best to keep this brief, and just can't seem to!
I could go on and on...
"All the best,
J.D.
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
|
Just remember: Every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Send this page to someone
who can use the information.
Help spread the word!
(C) 2002-2006 DD Publications, Morpheus Productions,
LLC, All Rights Reserved.
dating
black book | advanced
dating coaching | approach
women | affiliates | catalog | reviews | email
carlos xuma | blog | support
DATING
ADVICE - 1
DATING
ADVICE - 2
DATING
ADVICE - 3
DATING
ADVICE - 4
DATING
ADVICE - 5
DATING
TIPS
PRIVACY
POLICY
