What do you do about jealousy?

Dear Carlos Xuma,

I am a daily reader of your newsletter and your blog and I am getting a lot of good advice.

I am currently in a relationship with a hot girl which I would name T. Everything in our relationship is going well but here I am having a problem of jealousy.

She has a male friend of her who she enjoys being around. But sometimes I get jealous because it looks like that she is having a lot of fun hanging out or talking on the phone with him more than me and I am getting more jealous and frustrated and depressed day by day because of that guy.

Do they really have any sexual tension between them? Will he steal her from me after some days? What is that all chemistry going between them? Can I be sure that this guy will not harm my relationship?

Please Carlos give me a solution...

Waiting for your reply,

Your reader,

Dibosh
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

Well, here's the honest truth... (Do I ever say anything but?)

Jealousy has NOTHING to do with the other guy.

It has EVERYTHING to do with your own insecurities.

Always has, and always will.

Let's also be clear that when a woman is hanging around with a guy, there is sexual TENSION there. I don't buy into the "men and women as friends" thing unless a guy or gal has already made them an unattractive option.

But as long as there's a male and a female together (straight, mind you), then there is always polarity and charge and tension in the air.

You are right - you've got yourself a problem. It appears that whatever you are NOT doing is something that your girlfriend is finding attractive in some way with this other guy...

OR you're doing something that is giving away your social status and level of confidence.

So stop getting jealous and instead you need to get in ACTION.

Start being the man that she wants more than anything rather than worrying about how to protect yourself from loss. (Which, by the way, is the one sure-fire recipe for disaster there is.)

My guess is that her boy-on-the-side is being more Alpha.

You see you're probably afraid of losing this "hot" woman, and as a result, you give off a different vibe than the guy that already has the value.

The more you react in this jealous and insecure way, the more likely you are to smother her so that she eventually freaks out and does something very nasty and moist with her (cough) friend.

This is much more than I can cover here, or in my newsletters.

You need to read about the secrets of attraction with women HERE.

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