How do you handle when people bust on you?

Carlos,

I am running into a situation sort of like the Groundhog Day Movie where the same situation keeps happening to me as if destiny is throwing it at me over and over again. I haven't seen this question covered before. I have been using your materials and am finally starting to feel like I have at least a fair playing field when it comes to women. Anyways, here is my question. For the last few dates with my girlfriend someone has been exceptionally rude to me.

For example: We are setting in the drivethru area at a chicken joint that we had never been to before. I wasn't sure if we should keep driving after the waitress took our order (to the window or not). Well, a young dude dressed in red and yellow looked at me and said "move up to the window" in a tone of voice that sounded like an order. My girlfriend even said "that sounded like and order"... Cars were behind me, the order had already been given and our kids in the back seat were waiting for their food. So, I moved up to the window.

A similar situation happened last night when I took my girlfriend home. Her babysitter started bustin' on me. This one was tricky because I had to keep some decorum and I busted her back but the reality is that the sitter took home the trophy and I felt chagrin. My girlfriend even said "wow, she likes bustin' on you - it must be that cocky streak you have that she is after". The ealier part of the night was incredible and to end on a wuss note is not a great feeling.

Trust me. I would very much appreciate any advice you have and I will use it.

- Robert
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

Now that's what I like - a guy who will take advice and USE it.

Okay, let's see what's going on here.

First, you're feeling a bit pissed off by the fact that these people are getting the better of you.

GOOD!

That means you still have a pair and you haven't been castrated down to a she-male girly-boy. It's perfectly natural for an Alpha Man to feel a bit spunky and enlivened by the challenge. It's when you let this stuff go that I would worry about you.

Second, you realized that this was a repeating pattern, and you needed to resolve it.

EXCELLENT!

The "Groundhog Day" example you mention is an awesome analogy to how you can approach this. Just like Bill Murray, you need to find out how to handle it so you don't go out of your freakin' mind.

I'll give you one way you can deal with this. I call it a "wild card" gambit.

What does this mean?

It's simply something you can say to end things on your terms.

What I like to use is something like: "Yeah, that sounds like a good one..." and then I throw them a VERY cocky and knowing smirk (a smirk is half a smile - think: James Bond). This throws them into a loop where it appears that I gave them the "win" but I maintained a smug and unspoken internal victory.

That never fails, but only when I have the ATTITUDE to back it up. If you say that with too little attitude or come from a weak posture, you'll lose again because you appear incongruent.

Look, it's tough to come up with the right thing to say on-the-spot. You have to have some of these gambits to pull out when you're just not feeling up to verbal sparring.

But if you'd like to learn how to spar the right way, and keep conversation going on your terms no matter what, you need to see my Alpha Man Conversation and Persuasion program.

You can find it here...

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