CHEATING

Every so often I read something that makes me scratch my head. This is one that used to bother me a while back, but then I realized the fault in the logic.

The situation is this:

Boy meets girl who's got a boyfriend. They mess around. Guy asks me if he should pursue it with her.

Now most "gurus" out there tell you that you shouldn't, and even if you do start a relationship with her, you'll always know she's a cheater.

Well, let's be honest here:

Cheating isn't a character trait. It's an EVENT.

It's also an event that was probably helped along by the guy being a total CHUMP and not being an Alpha.

Meaning that she may lack the self-esteem to break it off with someone before she's found another guy, but this is a common problem with women. Especially younger women who don't feel "whole" unless they've got a guy.

So the whole, "she's a cheater, and you'll never be able to trust her" thing really doesn't wash with me.

In fact, I'd bet that over 80-90% of all women (and men, for that matter), have cheated. The other 10-20% are either lying or are in denial.

The chick you just went out with? She has cheated in the past. It doesn't mean she'll cheat in the future, but it's not like the Scarlet Letter, and a person should be branded for life.

Most women overlap their relationships a little. And they rationalize it away like you wouldn't believe. So if you were to ask, you'd get HER definition of the truth.

HIM: "Have you ever cheated on anyone before?"
HER: "I almost did once, but I stopped before anything happened."

TRANSLATION: "I went down on him in his car, but I felt bad, so I stayed away from him and didn't ever tell anyone. That makes it not cheating. I learned this from a certain ex-president."

Quite a clever re-defining of "before anything happened", huh?

There are three sides to every story: Yours, mine, and the truth.

But for some very obvious reasons, it's very taboo to reveal or talk about your past cheating. It smacks of "adultery." (When I was a kid, I always thought that was a stupid term, and I still do now.)

The reality is that cheating is exciting. It's illicit. It's dirty.

And it feels so bad, and so good at the same time. Hey, we're all weak.

If she's genuinely interested in you, just set the condition that she needs to break it off with the old one before you'll start with her.

I did this once in the past and it worked fine. She was faithful.

Everybody cheats. I bet YOU have.

Get over it.

The way to cure cheating from a woman is to be so damn Alpha, she'll be chasing you the whole time she's with you. And she'll love you for it until the day you die.

The secret to happiness, as the wise have said, is to learn how to want what you already HAVE.

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