SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Well, I have been having a problem as of late. I have been working on my body language and voice tone for the past 4 months and I try to walk confidently, use slow movements and gestures, breath slowly, and blink slower than usual. I also try to speak deeply and confidently.

The problem is I do this every time i go out and even when I am with my friends and as of late I have been feeling very self conscious. Its almost as if I feel that I am obsessing a little over this stuff. I feel that people are staring at me all the time and stuff like that. What do I do to get rid of this Carlos?

Thanks Carlos I appreciate you and your work a ton.

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CARLOS:

Well, from what you're telling me, it does sound as if you're a bit over-focused and obsessing. I covered this in a previous audio session on "hyper-attentiveness."

You can get a bit too watchful of your own behaviors, and then start that weird paranoia going that tells you you're always doing something wrong.

When you discover the information that you've gotten in my e-books and audio, you realize that there is a LOT of stuff going on that you weren't aware of. But that doesn't mean that you have to try and do it all right.

You need to relax when you date women.

This is the most important thing I can possibly tell you.

Relax.

Everything good with women comes from a place of relaxation and calmness. You can't attract women with angst and nervousness. Unless she's more nervous and excitable than you are.

First, stop holding yourself accountable to be PERFECT. It can't be done. So let that need go.

The next is to then work out with yourself just how much you can improve each time. Focus on just one area you can improve with each encounter, and stay relaxed. Your self-confidence will rise more and more.

For example, make your next meeting with a woman focused solely on getting her vibe. Find out where she is coming from and just let the chips fall where they may. So what if it's not perfect. You'll get another shot in most cases.

Or just focus on making her laugh.

Or try reading body language from her.

Get comfortable with that one skill and then work on another. If you scatter your attention to the winds, you'll never improve in any of them, and you'll never get to be an Alpha Male.

So get your mind set on one goal at a time, and go after it with dogged perseverance.

But do relax a bit. The game of attracting women and seducing women needs to have a lot of relaxation and humor thrown in. That's what a woman wants, too, by the way.

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