SMILING:

Hey Carlos,

I have an important question to ask you. Now, I have been spending a lot of time around this stuff (about a year) and its almost like I have come to the conclusion that it is not good to smile (as it shows that you are insecure). I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. I walk confidently, insert pauses into my conversations, and use slow movements and gestures. I used to smile more but its almost as if I feel that if i do then I am coming across as insecure.

I love to smile usually, it makes me feel good but I don't want to use it in a way that comes across as insecure. I am talking about smiling when I greet someone new, or smiling when talking sometimes.

How do I use it effectively Carlos in everyday interactions with both men and women? Thanks a lot man.

Your loyal customer,
Ron N.

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CARLOS:

Good question. A lot of guys don't know how to smile or when in their interactions. And, as a result, they come across as a bit too "approval seeking."

I will recommend you do this, though: Unless you're one of those guys that wears a goofy-ass smile on his face ALL the time, don't feel like you have to stop from smiling. It's a bad thing to have to contradict your natural need to be happy.

But if you are one of those guys who smile TOO much, and it is possible, you should learn to lay back on the smiling a bit.

Make sure you're smiling for the right reasons and you'll never go wrong. If, as you say, you're smiling just because you feel the love and happiness inside you, then don't hold that back. That would be neurotic.

But if you're trying too hard to smile, just to attract women, and those smiles aren't authentic, then you will look like a fake. Your body language will give you away.

You said "I have cultivated this attitude of confidence mixed with seriousness. "

If that's really true, then don't worry about it. Just gauge your reactions from other people. I think you'll see that they respond well to a good smile. It shows you don't take $#!+ so seriously. You'll get women much easier with that kind of approach.

It's the results that matter. If you're attracting the women, you're doing fine.

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