Monday, June 27, 2005

SEDUCTION - DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey, I have a question for you.

I just went though this messy breakup with my girlfriend two days ago
over a stupid argument. We still talk sometimes but she is usually
distant in the conversations. Im intrested in getting her back but I
don't know how to go about this. In the past, chasing the ex girlfreind
and acting depressed out of a breakup always ended in failure. So there
is no way in hell im going to do that again and screw this up.

The thing is... im not really sure on how to go about this. So far, i've been
trying to be upbeat and aloof around her and people she knows. Do you
have any rules or guidlines to go about getting back together with an
ex?

Right now my situation is pretty tricky as I don't have a place I
normaly see her so the only ways I can talk to her is by the phone or
messenger on the computer. I haven't messaged her recently because I
wanted to get her some space.

Any advice would be appreciated greatly
******
CARLOS:

Upbeat and aloof. What a combination, huh?

You're doing a lot of things right. You understand that the whole depressed or chasing her thing doesn't work. And you're giving her space. That takes discipline. Good job..!

Look, there are a thousand reasons not to go back to the well once you've peed in it.

That is, after you've broken up with a girl.

1) Messy breakup, huh? Let me guess, she dumped you? You don't say, so that's what I'm assuming. Usually guys say it if they were the dumper. So now you want to get your girlfriend back.

If you are the dumpee, she now will mentally do her best to justify it. She'll cut off all mental ties.

2) You've lost posture if it went this far. Breakups should not be threatened or taken lightly. What you must work on is establishing the understanding DURING the relationship that while you COULD leave, you're CHOOSING to STAY. She should feel lucky to have you.

And vice-versa, really. That's what keeps people together is excitement and knowing what you got before it's gone.

3) Guys most often make a fool out of themselves in the process of trying to win someone back. You end up putting out 1000 times more energy to get a second chance than it would take to just go and find a new woman.

4) You're not really telling me what you plan to do to make sure this won't happen again, or why it won't. Which means it probably will.

5)...

Aw hell, let's be real here.

Your only real choice here is to make a good play to get her back. None of that flowers and chocolate crap, either.

Get her out with you to just "talk." Don't get into a discussion on the phone. Tell her there's something she needs to know before she moves on. Make it almost sound like you've given up on her. That way she won't go in with her defenses up.

Then, meet with her, and start to flirt a little. Use some charm. Use the right body language, and read her body language. Feel out her attitude.

Break down her bitch shield (she'll have a protective cold emotional shell up to keep you out.) This is your challenge.

The rest is using the same stuff I taught you in the e-book, man. It's not hard to drive up her lust, and attract women.

What's hard is finding a reason to keep doing it for the same chick - over and over.

Good luck.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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