Dating Advice for Men Newsletter -

Advice for the Alpha Man The Truth about Women ... for the Intelligent Guy

Did you catch my radio interview on Satuday? If so, thanks for listening. It was an AWESOME interview. I even received some comments from the hosts on how much they want to do another one like that.

On to the mailbag!

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ALPHA MALE QUESTION:

Wussap carlos! First off, let me thank you for all the kick ass advice you provide for us guys on your podcast every week. I also have a copy of your Alpha Male book and I love it.

I was wondering if you were going to throw any workshops or in-field workshops anytime soon. If you were planning to I would like to know what they will cover and what they will be about. I was hoping that besides covering dating and women that you will cover how to be more socially presentable at parties, conventions, or at work.

I was also hoping that you would also cover AMOG tactics. I read from your book that you teach martial arts and I am very interested in how you handle AMOGS or a$$holes in the club trying to start a conflict with you or your women and how to effectively handle such a situation. I also practice martial arts but I have never been in such confrontations and I would like to use my wits and verbal martial arts instead of any physical violence.

Let me know, peace.

CARLOS:

These are all good questions. I'll be covering more of the visual stuff in the future with a special project that will start soon. (I'll tell you more in the near future...)

As for dating workshops and seminars, I'm looking into that possibility right now.

AMOGS (Alpha Male of the Group, or Alpha Male, Other Guy) is always a bit of a sticking point with some guys. They get their own game up and working, but then another guy comes along and messes up their game.

Really, it comes back to your own sense of security and inner confidence. If you're truly happy with yourself, you don't have any reason to feel intimidated.

One thing that can help you a great deal with this is starting a martial arts program of some kind. It's great physical exercise, plus you learn the methods of self-defense, should it be necessary.

After you've sparred with people, suddenly approaching women isn't all that intimidating anymore. But it comes back to what you THINK about that. Some guys would find it ten times easier to pummel someone into mashed potatoes than it would to walk up to a woman and just express their interest.

Of course, verbal Martial Arts are just as handy to have in your arsenal. If you know some verbal defense, you can handle anything before it comes to something physical.

When you say "socially presentable" I assume you mean your overall appearance and presentation of yourself when you're out at social functions.

There are a lot of dating techniques to deal with these situations, and a lot of tricks I've discovered over the years to deal with them.

I also want to encourage any guys out there to send in their requests for what they'd like to see covered in a new program, including their challenges.

I may just make this an extension of the Alpha Man program.

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ONLINE DATING QUESTION:

I have been trying online dating as another stream to meet women. I am currently using match.com and I have e-mailed 55 different people in the past month using the intro e-mail you suggest using in advanced audio coaching session # 2.

Four out of the 55 have e-mailed me back and we began to e-mail back and forth (I really try to challenge each e-mail) a few times until I asked for their phone number then they don't respond?

Another 8 out the 55 e-mailed me and said that they were not interested? (I actually challenge this by writing something like...Don't put yourself down so fast:) ...I was going to give you a chance...:) I'm not sure what they are basing this off of (both my photo and profile are good and I'm my worst critic). My question is, are these the numbers you can expect from online services?

I know it's a numbers game but I was hoping for a little more. Thanks Carlos!

- B

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CARLOS:

Let's clarify a few things first.

Your results online are going to vary based on:

1) The woman

2) the online service

3) the approach

4) the profile of the woman and how well you "read" it

5) the timing

6) the picture you use

7) the rest of YOUR profile...

and a whole bunch of other factors. Meeting women online can be very uneven. You have to really figure out the vibe of each woman and CALIBRATE to her needs. And you have to do this without ever having met her. You're doing this through the worst way possible - EMAIL. Sometimes online dating sucks. But it doesn't have to.

Remember, Email doesn't reflect tone of voice, and misunderstandings happen ALL the time because of it.

So what I recommend you do is to lean back on the ball-busting until you've had a chance to interact and you can read her vibe. Especially with online dating.

If you can't calibrate to her, you'll come across the wrong way (i.e., a dick). Remember that the material I give you has to be applied in judicious amounts. It's like medicine: Too much can kill the patient, too little has no effect.

Now I asked you to send me in the interaction between you and this woman. I added my comments to each section. I've indicated which are your emails and her emails and my comments.

YOUR EMAIL TO HER:

"I just read your profile and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders:) You seem like you might make an interesting friend. Oh and just a random question but I was wondering what your favorite resturant and or club in Denver is? Talk to you later.

-B"

CARLOS COMMENTS: Good intro, not too abrasive, and expresses some curiosity. Also, short and to-the-point. That's all you need.

EMAIL FROM HER TO YOU:

"I don't go out in Denver to eat, and I hate clubs so I can't answer your questions. The last time I did was a couple of monthe ago I went to Dazzel with some friends. Why do't you tell me where you like to go.

-W"

CARLOS COMMENTS: Right here I'm getting a real "bitch" vibe off her. She's too good to be polite with her words, and she's impatient with you. "I can't answer your questions"?

C'mon, honey, is it really that hard to pick a f*cking restaurant? If this was someone I was in contact with, I'd probably have dropped her right here. FLUSH.

YOUR EMAIL BACK TO HER:

"Hey W,

Good to hear from you:) How was your weekend?...Mine was good, caught some sunrays, partied a little, and took a nap today:) So you don't eat in Denver and you don't like clubs?...and I thought you might be a wild child:) Just kidding:) I haven't been to a club in a long time but I do like trying new restaurants around the Denver area. It was my sister’s birthday this weekend and we went to an amazing Italian restaurant. It was a gut buster all right:) What's your favorite food? Well gota run but talk to you later.

-B"

CARLOS COMMENTS: Your response is incongruous with her bitchiness. What I mean is that she was pretty obviously being a bitch in that last email, and this one should have called her on it with a comment like, "You've never been to a restaurant in Denver? Hmmm... Well, what did you think of Dazzel?"

Also, don't put in "just kidding" and too many of those smiley faces. They come across as trying to please too much. Let your email stand on its own.

EMAIL FROM HER TO YOU:

"My weekend was quiet. I went shoe shopping with a friend. I went skating on the path and caught up on some sleep. My friend is moving to Antarctica for 6 months so Im trying to spend as much time with her as possible befor she drops off the bottom of the planet. My favorite foods are shushi, popcorn, Indian, and what ever I'm in the mood for. I don't like meat markets in general, thats I don't go clubbing or hang out at the bars every weekend. chow ttyl. - W"

CARLOS COMMENTS: Here she's at least trying here to relate. That's better, but by this point you should have closed for a phone number. I don't go more than two emails before requesting the phone number. By this point she is already making excuses for not doing something with you, and that's not a good sign. I'd probably drop her by now just to give my self-esteem a boost. If you keep pursuing her, you will feel on the losing end.

YOUR EMAIL BACK TO HER:

"Wow, Antarctica, now that's a big move:)..what's she going to do down there? I haven't been skating in a long time but I did a lot in college. I just remember that it was a great workout especially for your calf's. Can you do any rail slides:) (I know bad joke but hey it's late).

"Oh I was thinking that you should send me a number where I can call you, e-mail gets really stale. I need to here the sound of your voice so I can tell if you're a cool gal or one of the those chronic e-mail people:). Send me your home or cell phone number and let me know what your schedule is like over the next couple of days (unless your homeless and don't own a phone in which case you can just send me the number of your shelter:). Talk to you later.

-B"

CARLOS COMMENTS: This is good. It's just the right balance of challenge and teasing. Not offensive at all. But by now, she hasn't really expressed ANY interest in doing something. This is a red flag that she's just stringing you along until something better comes along.

YOUR EMAIL BACK TO HER AGAIN:

"W, I'm glad that I got to meet you and you sound like an interesting and fun person but it doesn't sound to me like your ready to take the next step. I asked for your number last week so that we could get out of e-mail and talk on the phone. You didn't respond.

Maybe you were extremely busy but I'm busy too. I need to talk to the women I have just met so that we can tell if there's any chemistry. Sorry we didn't get to know each other better but good luck in your search:) -B"

CARLOS COMMENTS:

Good closing, however, you never met her, and she really didn't sound all that interesting and fun (at least to me.) She sounded bitchy, short, and not very into the interaction. Therefore, you sound incongruous again and too much like you still approve of her. Which will actually push her away even more.

You cut her off, and you need to really let that sink into your gut so that you affirm that YOU can get rid of HER without feeling needy or depressed about it.

The only thing that would have been handled better would be to call her on her negative attitude right off the bat. Now it's tough to do in email, but it can be done. Here's how I would have answered the first bitchy email about not going to Denver to eat and not going to clubs:

"Wow, Wendy. I sure get some angry vibes from you about the places you like to eat. Is this not a good time to email with you? Perhaps I misread that. I find that email tends to miscommunicate tone, so I'd hate for us to misunderstand each other.

"To be honest, I don't like to carry on electronic friendships (or more), so I'd much rather talk in person. Send me your number and let's make this a little more 'real.' Cool? Hope everything gets better for you."

And that's it. She has to know that you're not going to take that kind of lackluster interest and overall bitchy behavior.

AND that you recognize it.

AND that you're not going to reward bad behavior.

Honestly, it's entertaining to think that you can turn this kind of person around, but sometimes you have to be willing to cut them off right away. My other response would probably have gone something like this:

"Sorry to hear that you don't like to eat out. I'll be honest, I expected a little more of a courteous tone in your email, and what I got was a bit disrespectful for a guy who's just trying to see if you might be interesting. Maybe you had a bad day, but I'd like to see if there might be someone better out there. Good luck..."

You want some opportunity to meet the woman you REALLY want instead of settling for "kinda interested" women? Stop settling for someone else's leftovers?

First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've packed this e-book with HUNDREDS of examples, tips, strategies, explanations, what to say, what to do, how to interpret situations, and how to clean up that stinkin' thinkin' ...

Don't ignore that little voice inside you right now that's telling you to take action. It's the one part of you that you can trust. Most guys will let their egos stop them from learning the things they need to, and they'll live in regret later on for it.

All the good stuff is inside the Dating Black Book. And you can get it here:

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Just go check out the site, because I've put up a link so you can hear my radio interview and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Oh, and I've got an e-book and 6-CD audio program you'll want to have a look at, too. This program covers every part of your self-confidence and INNER game.

I cover ALL aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and get you on the path to TOTAL self-confidence.

You can see this life-changing program here:

http://www.alphaseduction.com

Listen to what this guy has to say about it, and how he's learned from the program:

"The negative self-talk was killing me for decades, that's my motivation for doing this. No woman is going to give me s*x out of pity. s*x is just a mindless fat-burning exercise like climbing the StairMaster; it's the skill I want so I won't become co-dependent. Being desired is the prize I'm looking for, and I need to accept myself first.

"I had a very attractive woman 6 years ago who was even needier than me... like a small child hanging off my arm... it mirrored my own insecurities and made me very uncomfortable. That's how I made other women feel and they left or never felt attraction, not because they were confirming my cooked-up negative fantasies I thought was their impression of me.

"As for my past, WHO CARES!!!!! Those are the two most relieving words I have ever adopted. "Glad to be in your bootcamp.. - C.H."

There are more testimonials at the bottom of this email for you to read...

This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!

I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, with 34 all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and HUNDREDS of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.

You can see the complete list of contents here at: http://www.alphaseduction.com

If you get the program right away, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos

TESTIMONIALS:

"Dear Carlos, Your program is a "killer..." It helped me to get rid of many traits of the so called "nice guy" - shyness, indecisiveness, "ass-kissing", etc.

... It boosted significantly my love and s*x life. Not only [this] ... It helped me to be more successful in doing business, I can now easily spot when somebody wants to "walk over me" and try to make me submissive as usually women do. Thanks a lot! My best wishes to you!" - S.D. Sofia, Bulgaria

"I LOVE your Secrets of the Alpha Man program. It is by far the best overall e-book and audio program online that I have read....and I have done my research and read all the popular e-books and what not.

"I already was having a lot of success prior to the program but my success has doubled since reading the e-book and listening to the audio." - D.

"... About your Alpha Man program... It's bad ass. I'm only halfway through the book (200pgs) and halfway through the CD's. It's really phenomenal..." - T. T.

"Carlos, I purchased the Alpha Male program recently and I must say it's the best investment I have ever made in my own personal development. I have had seeds of thought and insight on some of things you talk about in the books and tapes, but now I'm getting a fuller picture of what it takes to be a real man. It's incredible..." - B., Colorado

"Hey Carlos ... Listen, I want to thank you for all of your work in these CDs and e-books. I've only had them for about a week and I've already made some major breakthroughs. You opened my eyes in being an Alpha Male.

"I was recently getting to know this girl... and I was being the "nice guy." Boy! the way you described the steps a man goes through to get to "she's the one for me" is right on target! I was able to step back... put her in her place on the phone and in person--it felt GREAT (so empowering!). I ended up not liking who she is and have moved on since.

"Also, I went to a club the other day... and I usually don't because I don't know how to dance that great--but I did anyway. I applied your exercise where you don't look at the final outcome... you just take the first step... and be an alpha man there.

"Well, I felt powerful and by the end of the night I was leading this girl around the club by her hand (taking charge), ordering two beers and sitting down with her with my arm around her like an alpha man should. She was so into our conversation and I felt like I was totally in charge.

"Oh, and yes... I danced with 5 gorgeous girls that we had dinner with. Damn! it was good.

Carlos... seriously... thanks!"

- 'D' Los Angeles, CA

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