CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE:
The 5 Fears of Men and Women
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Monday, 2:29 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk
One of my good friends in the dating advice field called me the other day,
and in our conversation he asked me what I thought men and women's worst fears
were in dating. This had me thinking, and I decided that I should put together
a list of them, one for each gender.
Here's my list of the 5 biggest fears for Men and Women in dating:
Men's biggest fears dating:
1. He will be rejected by her
- possibly by missing one of her "rules" of
the game
2. He will lose his freedom in his search for connection
3. He will be seen as incompetent or a "failure" (i.e., not a
success)
4. He will not satisfy her sexually
5. He won't know how to handle or manage her emotions
Okay, now the other side:
Women's biggest fears dating:
1. She won't be physically/sexually
attractive to him
2. She won't be able to create an emotional connection
3. She will not be able to get him to commit to her
4. She will scare him off when she shows her "real" self - (If
she becomes needy/clingy/emotional) - i.e., she will lose the emotional
connection she creates (him pulling away or becoming distant)
5. He will abandon her (materially and emotionally) for another woman
The more I thought about these fears, the more they made sense. Like it or
not, we each have different needs within the context of a relationship, and
men will always differ in this regard. We can continue to wish that we could
change this, but the reality is that we can't, so the most effective thing
to do is to learn how to manage and overcome these differences instead
of fighting them.
(Unfortunately, we're all guilty of spending more
time wanting the opposite sex to just "be" more like us rather
than learning new skills to breach the divide. i.e., laziness.)
- Men's fears relate mostly to their own ego,
competence, and independence. He fears he will be inadequate and trapped.
- Women's fears relate to their feminine identity,
need for connection, and emotional needs. She fears she will be unattractive
and alone.
Now what we come back to seems to be the age-old cliche of appeasing
a man's ego and overcoming his inability to commit, and on the other side assuaging
a woman's emotional nature and making her feel connected and loved.
BUT if
we look deeper, there's more to be learned, and it's not so much about THEM
as it is about US. Yeah, that means both of you!
In the process of reacting to an outside stimulus, we have something unique
to us. Most often we simply let our emotions go on autopilot and we knee-jerk
our response to a situation. Instead we have something that is unique to humans.
It's called the Pause. It's the space between
stimulus and response that we
have ultimate control over.
But we so rarely exercise it.
And I call the process of controlling this moment your Pause
Conditioning.
CONTINUED...
______________________
Pause conditioning is simply this: When you encounter a situation that demands
some kind of a response (and not all of them do, by the way), then you have
a chance to start recognizing these decision moments and controlling them.
- When a woman asks you if you're a player,
do you get defensive and abruptly change gears, or do you just keep
on being your usual witty and charming self?
- When a woman doesn't turn to face you
right away, do you interpret this as rejection, or just her need to
feel more attraction before she'll let down her guard?
These are situations we all have to handle at some point or another, and
the secret to managing the differences between men and women lies in our ability
to stop ourselves from acting out of habit and take
control of the present moment.
When you're able to stop the DVD of life's movie and pause
before you react, you'll find that your rational mind CAN help
you overcome your defenses and fears.
And you'll find that you learn to appreciate things
from both sides of the gender divide a lot more.
If you want to learn more about this concept, I
suggest you learn about REAL GAME …
And
learn the Alpha
Man Rules.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
... which things are currently holding
you back from being more successful with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Shitty as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man now... Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction.
The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching
men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal
belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the tactics and techniques
in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like
learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos
Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner
game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching
women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in
this game to win it, these are the rules you
need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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Advice for Men: Pickup Lines
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Advice for Men: How to Talk to Women
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Advice for Men: How to Be a Player by Being REAL
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