How Do You Keep Up The Tension In a Relationship?
Carlos, I love the newsletters and the information has changed my life.
I do have one question. I have been married for 20 years and during that time I turned into a wimp. My wife lost interest in having sex with me, and I tried to change into what she said she wanted (which we know does not work) and eventually I was ready to leave.
Since I started using your materials things have improved a lot and I no longer require her approval or do most of the non-Alpha behaviors. Sex has improved, but not to the level where I can say that I am satisfied. Your materials are mostly geared towards the early stages of relationships.
What advice do you have for someone who is trying to recover an existing relationship? I would like to salvage this relationship, but I don't know if I can reclaim all that I lost from my Beta behavior. I am not totally clear about how Alphas should change when they are at the stage of keeping a woman attracted for an extended period.
It's worth it for me to salvage this marriage, but not at the cost of what I really want out of life.
Thanks for all your wisdom.
N.B.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
There's a certain amount of work that you have to be willing to put in, and also work with a third party (professional) to help you with some of the issues. Just be careful that this counselor or therapist does not compromise your Alpha Masculinity.
My advice for you is to:
1) Stay consistent and do NOT regress to your old Beta behavior.
The big mistake most guys make is that they change their behaviors with the prevailing winds, trying to play "will you like me" with everyone, and winding up not very likable.
Just stay true to your own power, your own Alpha masculinity FIRST and FOREMOST.
If you can't come from your own core of inner confidence, you can't really be strong for anyone.
2) Jack up the sexual tension between you and your wife.
One thing I've noticed that I advise all guys in long term relationships to do is to really play around and game your partner. You have to avoid the trap of "getting along" all the time. You have to give her a hard time, tease her, and generally be playful again. This is the KEY to all long term relationships with women.
And yes, this sometimes mean you will both flirt with members of the opposite sex. Trust me when I say that beyond the mini-drama she might have with this (or you, for that matter) it's GOOD for a relationship to play with the sexual tension.
3) Continue to work on your Alpha Behaviors and Lifestyle.
The best way I can explain this to you (there's not enough room here) is to point you to this information.
You need constant perspective about your life and the viewpoint from an Alpha Mindset. That's what I give you...
You're on the path. The key now is to stay strong and show her REAL change.
And while you're at it, you should study the Alpha Lifestyle. That's what I'm talking about most of the time...
I do have one question. I have been married for 20 years and during that time I turned into a wimp. My wife lost interest in having sex with me, and I tried to change into what she said she wanted (which we know does not work) and eventually I was ready to leave.
Since I started using your materials things have improved a lot and I no longer require her approval or do most of the non-Alpha behaviors. Sex has improved, but not to the level where I can say that I am satisfied. Your materials are mostly geared towards the early stages of relationships.
What advice do you have for someone who is trying to recover an existing relationship? I would like to salvage this relationship, but I don't know if I can reclaim all that I lost from my Beta behavior. I am not totally clear about how Alphas should change when they are at the stage of keeping a woman attracted for an extended period.
It's worth it for me to salvage this marriage, but not at the cost of what I really want out of life.
Thanks for all your wisdom.
N.B.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
There's a certain amount of work that you have to be willing to put in, and also work with a third party (professional) to help you with some of the issues. Just be careful that this counselor or therapist does not compromise your Alpha Masculinity.
My advice for you is to:
1) Stay consistent and do NOT regress to your old Beta behavior.
The big mistake most guys make is that they change their behaviors with the prevailing winds, trying to play "will you like me" with everyone, and winding up not very likable.
Just stay true to your own power, your own Alpha masculinity FIRST and FOREMOST.
If you can't come from your own core of inner confidence, you can't really be strong for anyone.
2) Jack up the sexual tension between you and your wife.
One thing I've noticed that I advise all guys in long term relationships to do is to really play around and game your partner. You have to avoid the trap of "getting along" all the time. You have to give her a hard time, tease her, and generally be playful again. This is the KEY to all long term relationships with women.
And yes, this sometimes mean you will both flirt with members of the opposite sex. Trust me when I say that beyond the mini-drama she might have with this (or you, for that matter) it's GOOD for a relationship to play with the sexual tension.
3) Continue to work on your Alpha Behaviors and Lifestyle.
The best way I can explain this to you (there's not enough room here) is to point you to this information.
You need constant perspective about your life and the viewpoint from an Alpha Mindset. That's what I give you...
You're on the path. The key now is to stay strong and show her REAL change.
And while you're at it, you should study the Alpha Lifestyle. That's what I'm talking about most of the time...
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
posted by Carlos Xuma at 7:52 AM 
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