Self-doubts and Rapport Building
Now, my biggest problem is flaking. I have been on a 2nd date with a woman, and on a first date with another women. I kissed both of them and the dates went well, both of the girls said at the end of the date "Call me" and "I'll call you".
I contact these women after 2 days, and one of them talks on the phone with me and we're having a good time (yet she makes exuses why she can't meet with me), while the other one didn't pick up my call or returned my SMS.
I don't understand what is going on. Everything went really well, and then they flake out.
I try to build rapport some women (I didn't do it with these 2 mentioned above) by asking your power questions like:
“Dream with me: Where would you live in the world if money were no object?”
Still, they look at me weird when I ask them these questions, and they never seem to answer them.
So, if this flaking is about rapport, can you give me some specific ways in how to build it?
Thanks from the Cobra Man! :)
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
Well, I'm not going into the whole "flaking" question again, since I've covered that to death in many previous letters. But I will talk a little about your last observation about rapport and how it's connected to what you're experiencing with these women.
First of all, when a woman makes excuses or is reluctant to meet with you, you either didn't get enough rapport going when you met her, or you are failing to remind her about the rapport you had.
Most guys get flaking because they don't leave a woman with the feeling that she simply MUST see you again.
That's all it boils down to in the end.
Leave her with the feeling and desire to see you that she can't ignore, and she will find you again.
Think from that point of view.
If your life depended on it, how would you make yourself so memorable that she would HAVE to see you again?
You see, if you put your back up against the wall, you'll get very resourceful, my friend. The key here is motivation.
Let me give you a real big rapport-building tool...
When you're asking her a power question, like the one you mention above, and she doesn't respond, which one of you do you think is the 'weird' one in that situation?
Chances are, you feel it's YOU, even if on an emotional level, you really know it's not. This moment of doubt you have in yourself must be wiped out and eliminated. You can't afford to let other people shake up your sense of calm and confidence in yourself.
When a woman throws you a curve ball by looking at you weird, try looking back at her weird. Ask her: "Hey, you're not one of those women who doesn't like to think about the future, are you?"
Now how can she answer that?
That's right - it's a loaded question. She has to either push herself completely into defiance ("Go to hell!") or she has to get back in touch with her self image and be congruent with herself ("Yeah, I like to think about the future...")
Don't give women a choice in the situation, either. When a woman resists agreeing to meet you, you blow right through it.
This is a technique you'll learn in my Alpha Immersion program...
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
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