TAKING THE UPPER HAND

by Carlos Xuma

I want to talk to you for a minute on a topic that I've recently had the joy of researching first-hand.

This goes into the topic of posture (which many of you are familiar with in the e-book) and I hope this demonstrates what I mean by turning the tables on a woman and showing her you are not a wimp.

The usual pattern of male interaction (at least for 90% of the "nice guys" out there) is that they will often start to fear losing a woman far too quickly.

Recently, I had to cut loose one of my low-grade prospects because of her lack of effort. It wasn't easy at first, but I remembered that my attitude is FIRST and foremost, and keeping her around, selling off bits of my self-esteem to keep seeing her would have been more damaging than beneficial.

Here's the message that I gave her:

"Hey, girl... I tried calling you so I could talk to you in person, but no luck.
I've been thinking, and it doesn't seem like a good time for us to be seeing each other. I really need a little more TLC right now and enthusiasm if I'm going to keep seeing someone. I think it's better if we can just be friends.

No criticism of you, I just have high standards when it comes to the level of attention I require. Good luck!"

Yes, that's what I told her, because I could smell her flakiness starting to come on, and it got to the point where I couldn't reach her in person.

You know that smell, don't you? When a woman starts to hold back on contacting you, and you can tell that she's either trying to play the old "hard to get" game (probably after reading The Rules but not knowing how to use them appropriately) or she's starting to lose interest.

Most guys totally screw it up right here. They will proceed to push down harder on the gas, not realizing that she's already pulled up on the emergency brake. They start to panic, and they call her ten times a day to find out what is wrong, why won't she call?

Cut her off and take the upper hand back.

The bottom line is that I needed that slice of time back for ME, not wasting it on a woman who wasn't an active and producing part of my investment portfolio. The other stocks I've chosen deserve my attention, and they'll get further investments if they keep producing. But keeping her around is detrimental overall.

I did my part by demonstrating good faith in making the first installment investment, which every guy should do. That initial investment is your effort to get to that first date or meeting with her (introducing yourself, getting the phone number, calling her, setting the date). Everything after this point MUST have a return on your investment.

What kind of "return" are you looking for?

If she fails to kiss you on your first date (after a COMPETENT attempt by you) then she's dropped.

If she does not keep returning energy, affection, or any of the needs you have from her, GET RID OF HER.

If she's more of a liability or a drain to be around than uplifting and fun - she's better off playing for another team!

Drop her.

How many times have YOU told a woman you would "rather just be friends"?

When I told a friend of mine that I had used that line on her, he thought it was the most original thing he'd heard and couldn't stop chuckling at the irony. (I'll bet HE has never used that on a woman himself.)

Why haven't you done that to HER for a change? Why haven't you dropped a bomb in her lap by telling her you'd rather just be friends?

Because you were always more scared of losing out on potential pussy than you were at keeping your self-esteem high. Until you value your own sense of confidence and self-esteem more than a piece of ass, SHE will always CONTROL YOU.

(Whoah... this guy is to the point...)

Does that thought sound appealing to you? Giving up your manhood to a woman just to satisfy your sexual urge?

Here's an alternative: Cultivate the attitude and inner-strength of a man who does not NEED women at all. He understands that 50% of the population (actually slightly more) are women, and that once he understands the essentials - the FUNDAMENTALS - of female attraction, he need never trade his balls for anything again. Women are always out there waiting for him (yes, WAITING for you, guys - women almost never initiate, so they're WAITING for YOU.)

WE have the power, my friends. Not them. And only you can do something with that power by taking the upper hand from time to time.

And there are many ways to display this power of personality.

Ultimately, you're going to have to learn enough about what's going on in her head to get that upper hand.

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Dating Advice for Men - How to Meet Women and Attract Women