I have a chance to save this young man's dating soul...
I come from Macedonia (probably don't know where it is)... I hope you won't mind to giving some tips to this young man :))
See I've had a crush on a girl who is one year older than me. It's all great but I was wondering if it could be a problem?! Can girls this age even be interested in younger guys?
Anyway, I met her two months ago at school (I'm receiving your letters for about 10 days now),but ...after reviewing your tips I think I had had the wrong approach ... I think I went in a bit too much as a nice guy. She probably saw a bit of a friend in me, I think.... And far as I know that might be the worst approach there is!
Anyway, I decided to take a step up but I think in the end I didn't have much success. Eventhough I called her two weeks ago and we had a nice conversation ( a perfect conversation!) she hasn't given me a feedback ever since. I've tried to contact her on her MSN but all I got was an ignorant conversation. I really have lost the compass on this one, I really think I could use your advice.
Thank you, Carlos, hope you'll write me soon,
Aleksandar
- Macedonia
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
Of course I'm familiar with Macedonia, not only from history (Alexander the Great), but because I was in Serbia earlier this year leading a seminar there.
Well, I've been down this road before, many times, and the ritual I'll put you through is pretty standard.
First, make sure you're dating and seeing other girls.
Second, don't worry about age. It's a perception, and one that you can control with your attitude and Alpha Power.
The rule is to behave as if you're at least a few years older than her (and THINK it, too), while occasionally giving her a glimpse at the boy inside you.
This isn't all that hard to do, either.
But there is a prerequisite - something you must have before you can do this. And it's something that a lot of guys aren't learning when they stock up on pickup lines or "seduction techniques."
What is it?
It's called being comfortable with yourself.
If you have a lot of anxiety over your own value as a man, you're going to lack confidence, and that's what she has to see from you.
So, that being said, if you know you went in too much as a nice guy, you need to exorcise your inner wuss. (As in "exorcise that demon," not "exercise by working out...")
In the end, if you were wimpy up front, expect no great results from this girl. She's probably already categorized you as wuss material and moved on. She was being nice by having a "nice conversation," but remember that being "nice" will not attract women to you.
Being confident, a bit brazen, a bit of a scoundrel... Think: Han Solo in "Empire Strikes Back." (Definitely not Annakin in the pre-quels.)
My advice is to get my e-book: The Dating Black Book.
If guys had this information up front, they'd develop healthy dating habits early enough that I wouldn't have to perform a wuss-ectomy later in life.
Get the best dating advice for men you can have - The Dating Black Book...
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
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