Why Do Women Break Up With Men?
When I first started dating, I had
good luck in finding women, but lousy luck in keeping them.
I found myself wondering why do women break up with men, anyway?
- Is it my looks?
- Is it my money?
- Is it my job?
Tell me if one of these situations
sounds familiar...
DATING DISASTER 1:
In the first situation, I'd go out
on a date with a girl, and everything would seem to be
going pretty cool. She was digging me, I was digging her.
And there was usually no problem getting
that kiss at the end, once I got past the butterflies in
my stomach.
Then, I'd call her back the next day
(don't women want that?) and I'd never get her, just her
voicemail. I'd leave a message, telling her how I had a
great time and wanted to see her again.
And then she wouldn't call.
I'd wait for a day or two and try her
back again, and if I finally did get her, the conversation
would go something like this:
ME: "Hey..."
HER: "Hey." (Not
very excited. And I'd feel my stomach sink.)
ME: "Uh, I
just thought I'd call and say hello. See how you were
doing..."
HER: "Oh, yeah,
I'm doing great. Look, I can't really talk right now
- I'm hanging out with a friend."
ME: "Oh, uh,
okay. Call you later?"
HER: "Sure
thing. Talk to you later..."
-- CLICK --
And then later on I'd get an email
about how she thinks we should "just be friends."
ARRRRRGH!
What about this situation...
DATING DISASTER 2:
You go out on a date with a girl, and
things seem great. You go out on a 2nd and 3rd date, and
everything seems pretty fun and cool. Heavy duty makeout
sessions...
Ah, it's bliss.
Then, you decide it's time for the "BIG
MOVE™."
You invite her over for dinner at YOUR house.
Candles.
Music.
Wine.
Good food.
You're all set. You've even got a condom
under the mattress for the "right moment."
Sure enough, she comes over. But you
feel a strange vibe as she comes in and gives you a peck
on the cheek. Things are a little cooler than before.
You ignore it and go on with the dinner.
After the food and wine is done, you go to the living room
to chill and hang out on the couch.
You try to get her warmed up, start
a little kissing, but she's not as into it as before. She
might even throw out the "it's my time of the month" excuse.
Before you know it, she's got an "early
day tomorrow," and she has to get going.
I mean, you don't want to admit to
yourself that this happened, but it did, and you keep wondering...
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?
And then I'd immediately wonder...
WHY do women break up with men like
this?
It's frustrating, isn't it?
That's kind of an understatement. It's
a real pisser is what it is.
Let's talk about the reasons, but first,
you should understand something...
Dating a woman is kind of like driving
a car. It takes some work to get it started and moving,
but once you get it up to speed, you want to just let it
coast under its own power.
You want to click the "cruise
control" and just let it riiiiide...
One of the problems here is that dating
and attraction has no "cruise control."
And the other problem is that if you
don't keep your foot on that gas, you will slow down to
nothing when the first hill comes along.
Think of dating "gas" as
being the excitement and fun you put into it.
That's all a woman needs to keep feeling
that "spark" with you.
I'm going to come back to this one.
Now, let's answer the Big Question: Why
do women break up with men?
REASON #1) She found another guy.
Well, this really isn't a reason the
way most guys think it is. You see, a woman doesn't want
another guy if the one she's with is doing the right things
and challenging her.
(Mind you that we're assuming that
the woman is stable and doesn't have a major character
flaw that leads her to cheating.)
I found out - the hard way - that a
woman has NO problem cheating on her boyfriend if she feels
that he's not living up to his end of the deal. Meaning,
he isn't doing all the things the new guy is to make her
feel unique and attractive.
She will feel JUSTIFIED in cheating,
in fact. She won't even see it as cheating. She'll see
it as self-preservation.
I'm not trying to make women out to
be evil here. Guys do the exact same thing - just for slightly
different reasons.
I'm going to talk about this again
in a minute... Let's move on.
REASON #2) She's exceptionally
smart and emotionally mature, and she realizes that you're
not what she's looking for in a long term relationship.
Hmmm.
This one doesn't happen often, in my
experience, even though it really ought to.
The reality is that when I finally "got
it" and understood that you can very easily get a
woman so addicted to having you around (because you're
giving her what no other guy seems to be able to, other
than the unstable "bad boys" out there), you'll
have the very real problem of women staying with you even
when it's not a good match.
But, as we say, that's a High Quality
Problem, huh?
In other words, if I'm going to have
a problem, that's a good kind to have.
So while I'm including this as Reason
2 here, the reality is that it's not going to happen if
you follow my strategies for building attraction.
REASON #3) You STOPPED doing all
the things that got her attracted to you in the first place.
In other words, you let the attraction
energy die out.
I could write books and books on this
topic...
The fact of the matter is that guys
typically put in a lot of energy to get things started
with a woman, don't we?
We have to approach her (tell me that
isn't agony...)
We have to brave the fear of rejection...
We have to get her number...
We have to call her up and ask her
out...
We have to make the plans for the
date...
We have to keep escalating things
until we can sleep with her...
Hey, that's a lot of work! But we don't
mind because it's the thrill of the chase.
But after you've conquered her, this
is typically where the average guy lets off that gas and
expects the woman to take over. And many women DO take
over...
... for a time.
Eventually, though, she becomes resentful
that she feels like SHE is doing all the
work, and she starts to withdraw. Eventually, she'll either
cheat, or she'll just break up with you.
Just remember, there's always a guy
out there waiting to do whatever it is you stopped doing
to attract your woman.
Look, I'm not saying a woman is justified
here, but you have to be realistic. If you weren't doing
your work at your job, would you REALLY be surprised if
your boss came to you one day and said, "We're terribly
sorry, but you haven't been doing your duties. We've found
a replacement for you. You're fired."
Cheating sucks, and it's the most painful
lesson in the world. But when you clear away all the emotional
fog, you'll usually see that there were signs WAY long
ago.
There's a rule you must remember:
CARLOS XUMA'S RULE: A
woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's
completely WON.
This is BIG time important! I can't
tell you how much that one tip has made ALL the difference
in my dating. After I learned it, women stopped breaking
up with me. Then it was MY choice to stay with her or not.
I'm not some kind of control freak
or something here, but if there's a choice between being
the guy that gets dumped, and the guy that does the dumping
- I choose to be the guy that breaks up with her.
I suspect you'd rather be that guy,
too.
So let's stop "wrongful termination" in
its tracks.
Remember that if you focus on ONE area
of your connection with women, you'll eliminate about 90%
of all the issues you'll ever run into.
That one area is ENERGY.
In my model of attraction called "REAL
Game," R.E.A.L. stands for:
R= Relaxed & Resourceful
E= Effective & Energized
A= Alpha & Authentic
L= Lifestyle & Lasting
These are the essential ingredients
of your game that create MASSIVE attraction with women
- if you know how to use them.
Notice the "E" = Energized.
This is the one area that many guys
think of as being the "entertainer," or the life
of the party, or Mr. Excitement.
Well, this isn't true. It's actually
a technique that you apply in different ways and at different
times. And I'll be talking about this more in the upcoming
videos and newsletters.
Remember, a woman's definition of "romance" is
the same as a guy's. It's simply "fun..."
And remember my rule:
A woman will
NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's completely
WON.
If you want to learn how to be the Alpha
Man - the man that women never break up with - I've
got another article (and a program) you will probably
want to see.
The one sure fire way to keep a woman
attracted to you is to show her an Alpha Male that has
the confidence and attitude that she wants to experience...
CLICK HERE:
Your friend,
