How To Talk To Women Without
"Losing It"?
Hey, I've just got a quick note for you today on a subject that a lot of
guys are curious about.
There's a lot of cool information I teach you, from routines to openers,
conversation bridges, all kinds of great stuff to inject into your interactions
with women.
But in almost every single one-on-one coaching (and in hundreds of emails
I get every day), one concern stands out more than any other.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff
when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face?"
This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton
of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough
to be "on" and creative, isn't it?
I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning
these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch
of phrases and stuff.
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman.
-- "Hey, my name is Carlos..."
And after I got the conversation started -
WHAM.
I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized.
-- Do I say that thing about "who lies more"?
Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the
other day...? Uhm... Ahhhggg... Errr.... Damn!
I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then
and now I totally lost it.
And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to
her.
(Insert uncomfortable pause here...)
You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips,
but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at
you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your
mouth.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And
then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself...
You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said.
AAAAAAAHHHHH! Too late.
Ever had that happen to you?
Well, let's conquer this problem once and for all.
ENTER THE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL..."
Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE
all the cool stuff I had memorized.
*** CAUTION: I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words!
You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk
with women about. No fake stories or lying.
You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting
to women. ***
You see, I found out that just sitting at home on my couch reading this stuff
on my computer wasn't enough. I had to practice some of the things out
loud.
But even that was not enough, so I tried something a little different and
off the wall.
And it worked like a champ!
*** Here's my technique for being prepared and NOT losing it in front of
a woman... ***
I'm assuming that you've walked up and said "Hi" or
some other opener to get the conversation started. I've taught you plenty
of methods in these newsletters, and you can find more in my Approach
Women NOW program.
And, as you know, it's not what you open with that's important, but what
you say NEXT that will make the difference.
But how do you keep it going with all the stuff you want to talk about?
Here's what you do first...
STEP 1: CREATE YOUR OWN BRIDGE
A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to
steer the conversation towards.
Let's say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with
a woman, and you've thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about
it. And, let's say your passion is photography.
You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like:
"You know, I was just thinking as I'm looking
at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you
ever thought about doing a sitting?"
(Note that I did NOT use any corny lines about "you should be a model.")
You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:
"I was out scouting locations for some photos
today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and
eye color. Isn't it great?"
(I don't have time to cover it here, but showing
this kind of "vision" of
the world is VERY at-tractive to women.)
Okay, so now we've got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation,
without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you've
got a hobby in your life that brings out
your passion.
Maybe you've got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you
think of when you're at home, but now you need to have it ready all the
time, like a loaded gun.
You want to be able to come up with this when you're out and about, but you
find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.
Here's your next step...
STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES
Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.
The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your
mind.
So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down,
whether it's the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you
want to bring up in conversation.
This will engage your "kinesthetic" modality.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words
out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also
engages your "auditory" modality.
And you also want to spend some time reviewing things
on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit
to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.
But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step
to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. 
I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.
You need to...
STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE
Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning
material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere,
and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever.
Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized
facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my
hand and try to recall the information.
Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't
realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were
learning WHERE that information was on the paper.
You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not
WHAT it was.
So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper,
you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not
paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor
it in our heads.)
That's right, it wasn't the information you were
learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It's
called "spatial relationship," and
it's how your mind stores information.
It's more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it
stick.
Like right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where
almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment
that you are very familiar with.
So here's how you use this "Situational Rehearsal" technique.
It's based on the way your brain really learns.
And you'll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information
if you use it...
In my previous example, you came up with a great
way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great
way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my "Power Questions
(TM)" that you want to memorize to use.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations,
and in many different situations.
You would want to do stuff like:
- Recall and recite the words when you're in the shower.
- Call your home voicemail and recite it back as a message.
This one is great. It will put you "on the spot" -
AND it will give you a chance to review how you said it later. You can do
this with your cell phone voicemail, too.
- Recall and recite when you're driving in the car.
- Recall the words when you're watching a television show, as if you're saying
it to the people on the screen.
- Recall and recite when you're out on a city street. (Just whisper it so
that people don't think you're crazy.)
But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer
game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:
- Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like
you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're
memorizing when you're out in public on a city
street or in a store.
Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your
cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking
foolish in front of other people.
AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You
get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
(I used to do this all the time, and make up some
pretty crazy conversations to see if I could get people around me to listen
in. "He hit the cop
with a baseball bat??? No WAY!" Try it sometime... it's better than prank
phone calling.)
The point of this is that you must get out there and put
yourself in as many DIFFERENT situations where you have to recall the information
you're trying to memorize.
The more situations you find to rehearse in, the better you'll be when it
counts - in front of a woman.
By using my technique, you activate millions more neurons in your brain,
which commits the words DEEP into your memory. And then this helps you
pull out the words when you really need to, and you won't have any of those
embarrassing gaps and silences in your conversations with women.
Now if you'd like to learn all my valuable techniques for handling conversation
and talking with ANYONE, ANYTIME, and ANYWHERE, I highly
encourage you to take a look at my Alpha Conversation & Persuasion
program.
I spent over a year researching all the latest knowledge on conversation
and communication between people to give you the most complete understanding
of how to create KILLER conversations with women, with friends - with ANYONE.
Tony wrote in to me and said:
"I wanted to tell you that I really am enjoying
the Alpha
Conversation program. This is program works on so many levels. I appreciate
the fact that there are no researsed gimmicks or lines that I need to know
but rather it affords me the opportunity to create my own game for life
in general..."
I'd like to share more about this program with you.
Go have a listen to my free 18 minute sample from the
audio here: Alpha
Conversation & Persuasion.
I'm not sure if it's the program for you, but you should have a look and
see.
I'll be back again soon with more tips and techniques,
Your Friend,
PS: By the way, the things I teach you in this program
are not "pickup" techniques,
or just some lines that you'd feel embarrassed to say. The methods in this
program are completely transparent and
natural.
You're going to be ten times more effective in every
kind of social interaction, and you'll seem more natural doing it with these
tips than you will when you feel like you're "forcing" a conversation
now.
No more "buts," and no more Mr. Boring
Nice Guy.
Go have a look right now, before "real life" tries
to distract you from improving your life - Alpha
Conversation &
Persuasion.
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