Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
Because every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL men admit it.

Monday, 4:07 AM: Carlos Xuma's Front Porch...

Did you hear the news?

I'm sure you got the email if you received the link to this week's newsletter, but in case you didn't, I'll be sending more information soon...

On Monday, July 9th, Scot McKay and I will be holding a special Communications seminar. Lots of great information, discussion, and best of all we'll be fielding YOUR questions on how to talk to women on that call.

Stay tuned - more information on the way...

On to this week's newsletter:

QUESTION: Getting fixated ...?

Thanks for all of your advice in the past & future! I subscribe to your Advanced Coaching online!

Awhile back I dated a girl for about 2 months. We got along well & seemed to have good chemistry. For whatever reason it kind of ended, first her not wanting a boyfriend, me talking her into keeping it going, then me deciding that I should move on and do something else instead.

Anyways about a year has passed and during this time I have seen this girl a lot she goes to the same gym, bars, etc. She usualy gives me strong signals that she would like to talk to me, but I usually ignore her & do my thing.

Recently though I felt like talking to her so I sent her a text message apologizing for the way I handled our situation and she responded back that she didn't handle it well either and thanked me for thinking of her. I have dated other girls in this time and so on but can't seem to totally shake her from my head for some reason.

It never really got very serious, I would have called it more casual dating. Is this worth pursuing her at all at this point? I do like her and she admitted she likes me too and for whatever reason it didnt work the first time around. But since she was never truly my girlfriend can we pick up where we left off? I am pursuing other opportunities as well as I learned from your books to always be flirting!

Please advise!

Nate

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Look, there's always a chance of getting it going again, but it just isn't always worth your time to pursue. Mostly because guys place too much emphasis on fixing what they broke rather than fixing their own bad habits.

Which is always misleading them from the True Path.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, The fault lies not in the stars, but in ourselves.

Your fantasies about what might have been are pretty much the same as the stars...

So you're doing the right thing by keeping your options open and keeping an abundance mindset. You're just wondering if you can go back there.

Well, the way you're caught up in this fantasy, you might as well go for it and either totally blow yourself out, or see if you can make it work. You've got a fixation that needs to be handled. (Remember, as I discuss in the Advanced Coaching, your biggest enemy is really your own imagination...)

CONTINUED...

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First - stop sending little apologies. That's removing the tension (and this is not necessarily a bad form of tension) that you need to start this fire. Remember that sexual tension is the spark that ignites the attraction, and without it all you have is potential, not reality.

Second - don't look at this as a "pursuit." Look at this as an opportunity for her to prove why you should give her a second chance.

Do you see the difference in mindset?

One is "What can I do to GET her???"

The other is, "What can she do to get ME?"

You never SAY it that way to her, but you keep playing your hand as if you have the cards - and she doesn't need to see those cards.

If you want to learn this mental frame more thoroughly, just read on...

QUESTION: Straight Edge Dating ...

First off I wanted to say thanks for the dating advice, when I first came across your podcasts I felt kind of weird about taking advice like this, but now I am really glad I did. I really enjoy the podcast because it is really making me start to think about how people look at me - not only women...

So now for my problem hopefully you can help me.

I am 22 years old, I am a pretty good looking tall skinny guy. I am having a real hard time meeting cute girls out here. When I see a cute girl I am starting to become pretty comfortable with starting a conversation.

Where the issue starts is that I am what you call "straight edge." I have chosen to lead a life of drug and alcohol abstinence. so I just dont really like the idea of dating a girl that is a total bar girl. it just doesn't make any sense for me to meet girls at a place that is based on something that I am pretty against... I am not saying I wouldn't date someone who drinks on occasion but I dont want an avid bar-goer.

The other thing is that I work in a hot rod shop, I build custom cars. If you have ever been into cars you know that the real hardcore shops generaly dont have too many women around...!

...Basically what I am getting at is that from 7:30 am to 5pm Monday thru Friday is for-sure woman-free, and then I don't really go to bars and clubs ... and thats where most girls here go to meet guys.

So when I do meet a woman how do I maximize my time since chances are I won't have long to talk... If you have any suggestions as to where I could meet more women that would be awsome!

-Andy C.

CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Andy, you hit something right on the head that I think a lot more guys should pay attention to: If you don't like or don't want the girls you meet at bars - DON'T GO TO BARS TO MEET THEM!

I'm astounded at the number of guys that go to bars to meet women, then discover that most of the girls there are really not there to meet guys as much as they are to have a fun time, and then they cry to me about the fact that they're not meeting any quality women.

BARS ARE NOT THE ONLY PLACE TO MEET WOMEN! Just because your perception is that that's where the women are who "want" to meet men does not make it true. (And another reason you must work on your daytime skills. If you only go to bars to meet women, your social skills will be very limited in the REAL world.)

The great realization here is that even though bars are a great warm market, they're NOT where I go to meet women I want to date.

Yes, you heard that right.

Carlos avoids bars for meeting women.

Yes, I can hear the cries from the audience: Then how the hell did you ever get mad skills with women, Carlos?

CONTINUED...

______________________

My skill in approaching and attracting women came from the fact that I didn't solely use any one place to meet women. You have to use the WORLD as your playpen, my Alpha Brothers. If you're doing anything else, you're actually programming your nervous system to AVOID picking up women and approaching, and your game will suffer over the long term.

• I meet women at parties.
  
  
• I meet women at clubs.
  
  
• I meet women at restaurants.
  
  
• I meet women at stores.
  
  
• I meet women at shows...
  

The fact of the matter is that I honestly believe that there is NOWHERE you can go and NOT meet women.

Attractive women.

Eligible women.

And that's part of the secret to my Alpha Attitude. (If you want to learn the whole secret, go HERE...)

But for you, being on the "straight edge," as you call it, is not such a bad thing, Andy. In fact, it's ONLY bad if YOU don't believe in it!

I've found that women are actually MORE attracted to me and MORE interested in me when I was very frank and earnest with them.

(By the way, I'm always frank and earnest with women. In California, I'm Frank; in Nevada, I'm Ernest.)

Seriously, when I put my personal choices out there - with strength and conviction, not apologetically - women were way into it! Never fails. Because she knows you're coming from a place of strength and conviction, which is something that most guys these days don't have.

So if you don't want a party/bar-girl, then don't meet women there. (But it's been my experience that there are quite a few women who go to bars that aren't what you'd call "bar girls.")

Where are the women you want to meet?

Here are a few ideas:

- Church. One of the best pickup places on the planet, and it's even sanctioned by God. How's that for an endorsement!

- Online. Choose the qualities you want from a catalog of women that you'll never run out of.

- Street/Daytime. Your best bet is to go to places that you like to go to, and then talk to the women that are there.

You complain about your job limiting you, but I don't know what in the world your work has to do with NOT getting women. Chicks would f*cking LOVE to hear about a guy with a job you have. What you perceive as a negative or an obstacle is actually a great opportunity for conversation, my friend. USE IT.

Don't give me a lot of rubbish about being at work X to Y o'clock every day, either. Go out on your lunch.

Before work, go to Starbucks. After work, go to Starbucks.

Before you go home at night, go shopping and meet the clerks and women at the mall.

There are TOO many places to meet women.

What you're REALLY saying to me is that you don't have any places to go that are RISK FREE. You don't have any EASY places to meet women.

Tough titty said the Cat to the Kitty, but the milk is still good...

Don't ask me where the hell I got that one. But it seems appropriate here.

Look, ANY behavior that is not directly related to getting your ass outside and in places where you can meet women is just an EXCUSE. It's your way of letting yourself off the hook from doing the "work" of meeting women.

If you knew how many women were waiting for guys to introduce themselves, you wouldn't talk yourself out of all the opportunities you are right now.

And most guys don't approach because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

Discover the secret methods to approach women with no fear of rejection.

Get to the point where you understand everything I said there, not just at a LOGICAL level but at an EMOTIONAL level. Where it hits you in the gut and makes you pace your apartment in utter revelatory disbelief. When it does hit, you'll be changed for good. And for the better.

It's easy to look at the other guys out there who can just walk up and talk to women with no problem as somehow "gifted." They seem almost granted a mystical power that the ordinary guy can't relate to.

How do they DO it?

It's not magic, or a special power. In fact, once you understand the workings of women enough, it's really pretty simple. You'll wonder why in the world you were so intimidated, and why it seemed like a mystery.

Wouldn't it be great to understand what's going on so that - at the very LEAST - you could avoid feeling "played" or manipulated in the future...?

That's exactly what my e-books will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these "Alpha Man" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.

Every guy that uses the techniques and strategies I teach is more successful than they were before, and most of them become MASSIVELY successful.

Which leads me to this: You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media and evening television sells you.

My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.

You've GOT to be an Alpha Man.

Look, there are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.
Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?

You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.

BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.

I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.

You have to get this knowledge and understanding, or you may risk never being able to turn your game around.

When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.

When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.

It's all about your inner game...

What is Inner Game?

It's your confidence. It's your attitude. You know when a person has this it oozes from them and gives them a comfortable vibe.

The reality is that True success with women requires a firm sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.

But you hear that all the time, don't you?

"Just be confident."

You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and not give you ONE single method of actually improving your confidence.

That's where I will help you.

I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things make a difference and ...

... I have a plan to help you improve your inner AND outer game with women.

When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive to women - then they'll want to come along for the ride.

I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.

Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my experience. There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes to your own life.

A Woman isn't looking for a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."

For those of you out there reading this right now that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha Man" ideal, I have something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.

Click here right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...

A lot of the situations guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves as to their real level of success with women. The reality is that most guys DO NOT get what they want from their interactions and relationships with women.

Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely Single Guy.

It's called EDUCATION.

It's the only way to stop being a whipped, scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.

If you could learn secrets to attract women, would you?

Can you see past your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?

When you have enough women and action in your life, you won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because you've got a sense of abundance in your life.

If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...

I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together, but all success in life is linked together by some common principles.

If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.

Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient' time...

Discover your inner Alpha Man NOW

Click HERE to learn more...

 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...

 

 

Remember Carlos Xuma's Rule:

"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that which she TRULY desires..."

Learn more about R.E.A.L. Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.

Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with my advice and strategies ...

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

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