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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Thursday, 10:12 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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BOOM!
It's freakin' here, dude...
Valentine's day is now.
I wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that today is like every other day. Only the greeting card companies and flower shops are making a killing...
Hey, I'm not that cynical. I'm seeing someone now that I fully intend to treat like a lady. She may even get a few flowers. Definitely some candy ... 'cause I love chocolate.
But the point is that I'll do this from my desire to treat her well, not because I have to or I'm bribing her to sleep with me.
Not unlike how you'll wash and clean your car from time to time. Not because you have to, but because you WANT to.
Valentine's day is fukking depressing for a large portion of the population. Male and female.
Why?
It's because we've all been programmed by society to feel a certain way if we don't have what someone else tells us we should have. Like a relationship, or an expensive SUV, or a powerful position.
I've always taken the viewpoint that it's nice to focus on romance once in a while, but I don't feel incomplete if I'm not seeing someone.
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In fact, on those years where I've not had someone on 2/14, I use the time to remember what is important in life isn't the fact that you're dating someone or in a relationship...
I focus on the fact that I'VE GOT THE CHOICE!
I will decide if I'm going to make a woman my primary and my lover.
I will decide if I'm going to give her gifts and tokens of affection.
I will decide if we are serious enough to warrant that kind of attention.
A few years back I had a dilemma around Christmas-time. I was seeing a few ladies, and I chose to get some gifts for them. I was concerned that I didn't want there to be a mis-communication among us, that I was "getting serious" with too many of them.
I gave them some gifts that year, and they were all happy.
But the best part was that it was all MY CHOICE.
My choices to treat them... and my choice to keep them.
Isn't it time YOU had the choice?
And these days, I meet new women every time I go out, all because I practiced a few new habits and attitudes that get women interested in me on every approach.
Check this out:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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THE INTERROGATOR:
I've been re-reading the Dating Black Book and I notice how you say if she brings up past relationships to get off the topic.
Well, the date I was on last night, the one that ended kinda sour, she was GRILLING me with these questions about love and kids and shit. I did EVERYTHING I could think of to redirect the conversation since she was so insistant about past girls I have had, ever been in love, telling me I'd be good with kids, but it was no use! I didn't ask about her past relationships once...
She was relentless, man! What can I do the next time this issue arises?
CARLOS:
Either not give in, or end the date. I don't want to hook up with an interrogator. If you make that decision before you get into this kind of situation, you'll have no problem leaving it when you encounter it.
Be relentless right back.
(There's a deeper message here I hope you pick up on, too...)
Why didn't you bust on her for being so damn nosey and rude?
The problem was that you fell into her frame. I'd just sit back and stare at her for a minute while she acted like this, get up, and leave.
Problem solved.
Just because she asks you something doesn't mean you have to answer.
And it sounds to me like the date didn't end sour at all. You avoided an annoying woman.
REFRAME IT.
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QUESTION:
Once again: your book has helped me in so many ways, THANK YOU.
One more question for you: what tips do you have on the first kiss situation? I find this part the most challenging in the whole dating game. Please let me know if you have any ideas.
F
CARLOS: The first kiss can definitely be tricky, but this is one area I can give you some quick tips:
- First of all, your number one rule is this: "You Must Already Know If She's Going To Kiss You BEFORE You Go For The Kiss." (A variation of Sun Tzu.) Chant that every night before you go to bed. It's important.
You see, you never go into a first kiss situation without knowing in advance that she's going to return it. It should never be an ATTEMPT, but a definite CLOSE. If she refuses you a kiss, you probably already knew it long before but didn't admit it to yourself.
The way to test this is easy: At some point on the "date," if you are aware that things are going well, and you've been using kino as I describe in the book, you should lean well into her personal space to test her reaction.
There are a couple ways to do this, but I'll give you the one that's easiest: Get up to go to the bar or to the bathroom. You make as if to leave, walking behind her, and then come back to her. You put one hand gently on her shoulder and lean down within six inches of her ear. Ask her if you can get her something when you return.
Watch her reaction. If she seems comfortable with the touch and the proximity, you're in good shape. If not, you need to work on the other attraction strategies from the e-book some more. Then you go in and test again.
If you do this three times with uneasy reactions from her each time, you should consider ending the date. She's either got physical trust issues, or you two are simply NOT hitting it off.
- Make sure you're "kissable." Use some Chapstick or a lip moisturizer that give your lips a kiss-able look.
- Kiss early if you can. You don't have to wait for the end of the date to come before you go for the kiss. In a lot of ways, it can be better if you do.
If you can sneak in a short kiss early, you will 1) Show her ten times the confidence that most men have, 2) establish yourself as different than the rest, 3) Give her a reason to relax if she thinks that the tense part is over with.
- Make it a quick kiss, always leave her wanting more. Your kiss is short, slow, and gentle. No tongue or added moisture. When you're done (after YOU cut off the kiss) you give her a strong look in her eye and make an "mmmmm...." noise.
Last, but most important, if a woman refuses or avoids the kiss at the end of the first date, she's off the team. Straight to the locker room.
No woman who is truly interested in you would refuse to kiss you - unless she's trying to manipulate you.
Remember that.
I was out with a gal recently who asked me to walk her to her door, and when there was a short gap in our conversation she leaned in and kissed ME.
Why? Because of all the attention and tension we had built up over the course of that night.
(Everything I preach in THE DATING BLACK BOOK.)
So get out there and get some, guys...
SKEPTICAL?
Dear Carlos,
I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have been trying C & F routine recently and it has been working like a charm. An example of C & F happened recently. Women always make comments of my age and how I appear much younger than my age (I'm in my late twenties but appear to be 23-24). Before reading your e-book and listening to the CD's, I would simply laugh or say thank you if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my age.
Recently I was out with my friends and this good-looking woman said the same comment. My response was "come on, I'm not going to fall for a line that. You women just want me for my youthful looks". Then I continued busting on her and left with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my exchange with her and my success.
I have a question though Carlos. What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one happens to be short.
Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and funny responses?
PCS. "Your program is a cure! I just love your prescribed medicine and the side effects (attractions) are awesome"
Thanks a trillion,
R
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CARLOS:
In this situation I usually bust on them with reality.
"So you've NEVER dated a short guy? EVER?"
"Well, a few times..."
"So it wasn't really about their being short, was it? It was about having the right attitude?" And I start nodding here.
OR
You can use this to disqualify her...
"You know that's too bad..."
She says: "What? Why?"
"Well, I generally don't judge people by their appearances. I look deeper into what makes them a loving person. I mean, beauty is common. Look around you. What if I said I didn't date women who blink a lot?" (It doesn't matter if she does, let her be a little self-conscious.)
"I'm not sure I can hang with you." Shake your head at her. Don't let her think you're joking OR serious.
Remember: the key to "Handling" women in these (and just about any situation where she's testing your reality) is to come from such a strong and confident frame that what she thinks is really irrelevant.
And if you want to learn the advanced methods of handling the approach with style and power, you need my Approach Women NOW program:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
If you're spending this holiday by yourself, and you want to meet more women, maybe make EVERY day this year your own private Valentine's Day...
I have a suggestion for you.
If you want to reap the benefits of an improved social life, an expanded network of women and friends, and a whole new attitude about women...
You just need a new skill. That skill is the technique of how to approach women - without fear of rejection.
And it's not all that hard.
I've got a ton of self-development exercises, along with a ton of actual openers that you will be able to use TONIGHT to meet women and improve your love life.
As always, the choice is yours.
You can pretend that you've got this area all taken care of, or you can learn the one basic skill that ensures your success with women over the long term.
If you don't meet them, you can't have them as friends or lovers.
It all starts with overcoming that sickening fear of walking up to her.
Here's where you can get the cure:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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And while we're at it...
I wrote the book on this subject of Alpha Men (literally and figuratively) and now I want you guys to reap the benefits.
Really, do you want to go through 2006 without this knowledge? Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down strategies are exactly what my Alpha Man Program will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these "Alpha" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Get understanding so that you can make 2006 the year you took care of yourself and started being really successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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