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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Thursday, 9:55 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Dear Carlos:
I've been dating and getting laid with this really sexy and hot woman for about one month.
My vey simple question to you: How do I turn her to get obssessed on me.
J.
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CARLOS:
Hmmm... first, after everyone is done crying for this guy who's getting laid with a hot chick, I'll ask you my question.
Ready? Put down your hankies.
My question is this: What's wrong with simply getting laid, dude?
Seriously, obsession is NOT what you want, no matter what you may think. It might seem very ego-gratifying, but in the long run, when she's slashing your tires or boiling your pet rabbit on your stove, you might not be so keen on obsession.
Besides, this is psychological manipulation and control that is unhealthy, and you know I don't preach that. It's coming from a place of desire to satisfy some kind of emptiness inside you, and that's not an Alpha Man.
That's an egomaniac.
The insatiable quest for more More MORE will only leave you feeling more and more EMPTY.
The key to happiness is to learn how to want what you already HAVE.
Think about it.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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QUESTION:
Hey Carlos,
I really have been trying to work on my attitude and mind-set, but it is hard at times. I usually just try to talk positively to myself and repeat affirmations that I want to come true. I meditate a lot and think about the me that I want to become.
However, I want to really develop the attitude of "I DONT CARE WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT ME". At times, I catch myself caring a little too much about what people think about me, and I get mad at myself. I say things like "Why are you thinking like this?", or "Come on man stop".
My question to you is how do I develop this attitude? What things can I do to really INGRAIN this attitude within me. I want to come to a point where I TRULY don't give a dam what people think about me. What steps can I take to make that change happen? Thanks so much man.
CARLOS:
Well, first of all, let's be completely realistic here...
Everyone cares what other people think to a certain degree. It's human nature.
If you didn't care at all what other people think, you'd be a complete sociopath and you'd be better off in an institution or prison somewhere.
When it comes to women, most EVERY guy cares too much what women think.
Why? Because he cares about what his MOM thinks of him.
Yes, we learned our approval-seeking behavior from our childhood and not wanting mommy to be mad at us. Think about all the things you would do to get her to be happy with you, or just not be angry.
The question is, how much have you (or any guy) grown up and moved away from this childish need?
If you feel good enough about yourself, the opinions of others matter less and less.
And, the reverse is true.
If you don't feel very good about yourself, the opinions of others matter a whole lot.
Negative thinking will sink your ship faster than a hundred torpedoes.
And that's one thing that most guys don't know how to control.
No, not their torpedo.
Their THOUGHTS.
Thought control is the highest form of self-discipline a man can aspire to. It's the highest level of achievement for the Alpha Man.
To control your thoughts, and in the right way, gives you the ultimate freedom. And the ULTIMATE POWER.
To control your life, and your destiny.
I'm not trying to sound like some kind of flaky self-help guru here. But it is still true.
Everything man-made that you see around you began as a THOUGHT in someone's head.
Cars. Buildings. Space probes.
Even skimpy g-strings you see riding up the back of her butt.
Everything!
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Yet, the sad fact is that we will go to any lengths to avoid THINKING.
Or even trying to control our thinking.
Mental self-discipline is the rarest form of mastery a man ever achieves. He may become a buff, 220 pound mass of muscle and stamina through physical discipline at the gym.
But he will go through ANY amount of work to avoid using his MENTAL muscle.
Even though it only requires the least amount of physical effort.
In a lot of ways, thinking is more tiring than body exercise.
But if you learn how, it's so easy and fun to control your thinking and your attitude.
And once you have a winning attitude, the world is YOURS.
Take it from me, guys. I know what negative thinking can do to a person. I grew up in a household where my father was verbally abusive and a STRICT disciplinarian. (By today's standards, it would have been considered child abuse, but back then it was just a traditional Italian upbringing.)
I struggled for YEARS with a very low self-opinion. Girls wanted to boink me, but I was too down on myself to see the opportunities.
Once I cleaned up my stinkin' thinkin', the world got a whole lot brighter. And then women were a lot more into me because I gave off a POSITIVE aura.
The one thing you must avoid, however, is NEGATiVE reinforcement.
Yes, scolding yourself and getting mad at yourself is a necessary step in the process of realizing that your actions are your own, and YOU are the one who needs to change them.
You have to get disgusted and PISSED OFF at yourself once or twice to find the motivation to change.
BUT after that, you must be willing to take a more emotionally detached standpoint.
In other words, get mad that you're not getting the results you want, but don't reinforce a negative opinion of yourself in the process.
Don't tell yourself "Oh, what's the use, you'll never change..."
Or, "You're screwing it up again! You always screw it up!"
Instead, the dialogue goes like this:
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"What the heck? Okay, that definitely was NOT what I wanted. So what did I do wrong there...? Okay, now what did I get right? Now what am I going to do different NEXT time...? Okay, now that event is over, I've learned from it, and it's time to move on. NEXT."
You see how that's a PROBLEM SOLVING dialogue, not a "You're such a f*cking idiot" dialogue?
I use this all the time when I train kids in Kung-fu. If they step out of line the wrong way, I'm going to bite down. But after I've corrected you, and I've shown you the correct path, all is forgiven. That's how behavior is effectively corrected.
The biggest difference here is what QUESTIONS do you ask yourself in that internal mental dialogue?
Are you asking yourself what you can do better?
Or are you asking yourself why you're such a chump?
One of those questions has the seeds of greatness in it.
The other has the seeds of sour apples and negativity.
The choice is yours.
Would you like to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?
First of all, you need my e-book - The Dating Black Book. I've packed this e-book with HUNDREDS of examples, tips, strategies, explanations, what to say, what to do, how to interpret situations ...
It's all in there. And you can get it here:
datingdynamics.com
Add on the www if you need it for your browser.
Oh, and I've got a new e-book and 6-CD audio program, and this new program covers every part of your self-confidence and inner game.
We've got a new site at: alphaseduction.com
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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This program covers ALL aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to TOTAL self-confidence.
Listen to what this guy has to say about it, and how he's learned from the program:
"The negative self-talk was killing me for decades, that's my motivation for doing this. No woman is going to give me sex out of pity. Sex is just a mindless fat-burning exercise like climbing the StairMaster; it's the skill I want so I won't become co-dependent. Being desired is the prize I'm looking for, and I need to accept myself first.
"I had a very attractive woman 6 years ago who was even needier than me... like a small child hanging off my arm... it mirrored my own insecurities and made me very uncomfortable. That's how I made other women feel and they left or never felt attraction, not because they were confirming my cooked-up negative fantasies I thought was their impression of me.
"As for my past, WHO CARES!!!!! Those are the two most relieving words I have ever adopted.
"Glad to be in your bootcamp.. - C.H."
There are more testimonials at the bottom for you to read...
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, with 34 all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and HUNDREDS of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
alphaseduction.com
If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
Here's to a new year. 2005 is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!
- Carlos
"Dear Carlos, Your program is a "killer..."
It helped me to get rid of many traits of the so called "nice guy" - shyness, indecisiveness, "ass-kissing", etc.
... It boosted significantly my love and sex life. Not only [this] ... It helped me to be more successful in doing business, I can now easily spot when somebody wants to "walk over me" and try to make me submissive as usually women do. Thanks a lot!
My best wishes to you!"
- S.D.
Sofia, Bulgaria
"I LOVE your Secrets of the Alpha Man program. It is by far the best overall e-book and audio program online that I have read....and I have done my research and read all the popular e-books and what not.
"I already was having a lot of success prior to the program but my success has doubled since reading the e-book and listening to the audio." - D.
"Hey Carlos, I have been reading your book "Secrets of the Alpha Man and it is absolutely life changing ... I mean seriously I don't even read it as a mere book anymore - I will use it as my personal reference guide for true manhood for good ...
"[I've been] studying your book and already seeing results..."
"Thanks, your work is really having a wonderful impact ... I have to admit that your work is the only material that I trust as far as internet products ...
"A loyal Reader - T.G.
P.S. Keep up the good work and keep those great e-books coming !"
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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