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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Thursday, 8:45 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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Question
I know by now you must be very busy and answering a lot more emails since you first got the little black book out. It is great and I have benefited from it a lot. Please point me in the right direction. A lot of what you taught me helped me land a beautiful girlfriend who I have grown to fall in love with.
She's wonderful though imperfect and we really enjoy each other. She says I never keep her bored, we kiss a lot and show a lot of affection. Her family loves me and we have talked about getting married often. The only problem is she says she wants to love me but feels that there must be nobody else in her life that she must be drawn to. She was honest and straightforward to me about this. She told me who he was and although he's not in the picture right now, he will be in February.
She tells me time and time again that she wants to get to love me. I truly feel my emotions for her are deep. She says she is indecisive and doesn't know how she will respond if he tries anything with her. How do I push things in my direction if possible so I can come out on top? What kind of things can I do to win her heart without acting like a wuss.
Doug M
CARLOS: Uh-oh. The "L" word.
I usually don't like to tread into this terrain of relationships, but I'm going to make an exception here.
Why? Because it doesn't sound like you guys have a relationship.
YOU have a relationship with her, but she doesn't with you.
Why is this?
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Because she's still not into you enough. She sees you as a stable, reliable provider, but not as a lover.
I know, I know. I hear you protesting from all the way over there. You're weeping and lamenting, saying that "we kiss a lot" and "we hug a lot" and she says we're so RIGHT for each other.
First of all, let's look at the good:
Bravo for using the strategies for getting a beautiful woman into your life. More guys are catching on that once they start using these strategies and building on their confidence with women that they can then take that success to the next level and get even MORE success.
All it takes is to take some action. DO something.
Now you're discovering the next part of the strategy that you have to think about: How do you KEEP her?
Now let's look at the evidence:
"She wants to get to love me."
Whoah. Dead give-away, dude. "GET" to love you? What she's explaining to you here in woman-speak is that you aren't attracting her. You're in danger of turning into a nice guy. She knows she SHOULD want a nice guy, but we know that isn't the case, is it?
(HINT: NO. It isn't.)
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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You want to know how to get this girl?
How to win her heart?
1) Stop kissing her so damn much. When you do kiss her, make her work a little for it. Ask her "what will you give me for a kiss?" The fastest way to get someone sick of something is to give it to them ALL the bloody time.
2) Tease her. I'll bet money you're not teasing her nearly enough. You figure that now you have her as your "girlfriend" (which I don't believe you really do, by the way) you can just abandon all the principles you were taught. Not so. Get back to busting her chops and teasing. You need to communicate that you are an Alpha Man, and that SHE is the one in jeopardy of losing YOU.
3) Stop seeing her so much. Stop being so available. I'll bet even more Vegas chips that you're over her house all the time. You call her every day. (Or every other day.) You're probably seeing her WAY more than is necessary (or good for the relationship.) Familiarity breeds contempt. Ever heard that one before? It's absolutely true. In relationships, the one who doesn't get enough of the other is the one who gives TOO MUCH to the other.
4) STOP TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE! I'm getting nauseous here. You mean you'd really consider marrying a woman who doesn't love you? Gimme a break. Drop that talk right here and now. Women WANT to feel like they've "caught" their man. Not as if he's jumped out of the water and bit down on her hook. Where the hell is the challenge in that? If fishing was as simple as holding your bait over the water and them jumping in your boat, NO ONE would do it. Think about it.
5) Give her reason to doubt. You can't appreciate what comes too easily. The things we value the most in life are the things we think we may have lost, but find again. Think about that for a while. Ever remember losing a really cool toy as a kid, only to find it a few days later? Remember that feeling? That protective "I'm-not-letting-it-out-of-my-sight" feeling after you found it again? Guess where else this is true.
Use the rest of the strategies in the Dating Black Book while you're at it. Get back and re-read chapter on Basic Psychological Principles again. Every one of these reflects your situation.
Keep using the principles. You used them to your advantage and got yourself this far. Don't abandon them now. The number one mistake guys make after they get a woman they want is to start thinking and acting like a wimpy she-male, believing that now that they have a woman in their arms they can then start writing poetry and professing their love. They turn into a Hugh Grant wannabe. And the woman then runs away as fast as she can.
A woman has only room in her heart and her mind to chase ONE man at a time. If she's thinking about guy #2, it's because he's giving her something you are NOT: Mystery. Space. Aloofness. She's probably already building up a romantic fantasy about her reunion with guy #2.
Take a lesson from HIM. Whatever he's doing is working on some level. I suspect it's his lack of availability. YOU are providing NO challenge to her, and he's still an unknown. He is someone she can still dream about.
You see, she managed to sell you on that cheap fallacy: That it was good of her to share her feelings and be "up front" with you. While it's good that she's honest, she's managed to convince you that she's an even better catch while telling you at the very same time that she's interested in another guy.
So here's the scoop: You think she's better because she's "honest", while she's preparing her exit visa to go love guy #2. I caught you starting to defend her there a bit. Be careful.
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Do you smell what Carlos is cooking here? You're getting snowed by the oldest and cleverest species on the planet.
Women.
Now, I'm not inferring that she's doing this on purpose. But isn't it interesting how everything in this situation works out better for HER, but not for you? SHE gets her pick of guys. SHE gets you hanging on her every sacred word and action. SHE can tell you that she "told you" when she sleeps with guy #2.
SHE wins no matter what happens.
In short, SHE has all the power, and you have NONE. She's got a parachute, and you've got Wile E. Coyote's anvil.
GET YOUR POWER BACK. Start impressing upon her that her interest in this other guys is going to drive YOU away. That she's about to lose YOU. That YOU are the catch. That YOU are NOT impressed with her altruistic displays of "honesty." Keep doing all those things you did to get her in the first place.
It's time to start thinking about #1 in your life - YOU. If you continue to believe that she's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and treating her like this princess (yes, I heard you, you know she's "flawed"), you are going to over-invest in her, and she's going to leave you stranded on emotionally unstable terrain.
Oh, and the fact that her family loves you doesn't mean DICK. I've had so many women's families love me that it makes me sick, and it NEVER translates into HER loving you. A women doesn't stay with a man just because her family loves him. SHE has to be mad about him.
Start acting like YOU are the prize in this dating situation and reclaim your balls. (As Denzel Washington says in Training Day: "Man-up!")
She wants you to be the ALPHA MAN in this relationship. Women don't want to steer this 'ship.' Trust me on this. She needs a captain at the helm, not Gilligan.
And if you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that he used to get it this far, the top-down strategies are exactly what the Dating Dynamics e-book (and audio series) will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these "Alpha Man" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better. This ebook teaches you the critical success factors in attracting women.
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Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Get understanding so that you can make 2004 the year you took care of yourself and started being really successful with women. I am convinced that my information is the best out there.
Life is a lot shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
"Just thought I'd write you an email and say that the stuff in your book is great and its changing alot of things for me. Already working, getting phone numbers and meeting girls I never would have approached before. Initially I thought your ebook would be a corny thing ... but I bought it out of curiosity, and its really great. Basically what im saying is, Thanks..." - Josh E.
/ebookstore.htm
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 3 is ready now to take your current skills and take them to the limit...
Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprogram.htm
Here's some of what's covered in this month's session:
- Graphology- What it is, how to use it as an intro, and why women love it
- Challenge-response for rapport - how to handle her question tests from start to finish, and avoid having your back to the wall
- Handling women through email - Email Responses given with the text, and the analysis of how to develop your own.
- Why you must REALLY win or REALLY lose with a woman
- Rapport and Cold Reading- a complete breakdown of this advanced technique to build rapport and influence with women
- Mystery - How it works to deepen a woman's attraction for you
- Maintaining distance - The way to control your fantasies and your thinking and get rid of obsessiveness
- Posture - How your physical posture affects your attitude
- The Pre-date Cheat Sheet - Hardcopy PDF and a briefing on how to prepare for your meeting with a woman
For the complete list of contents, go to:
/audioprogram.htm
-Carlos
If you'd like to get your question published, here are some suggestions:
1) Keep it short and sweet. Just a couple of paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" comments, but the fact is that I really DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations. And it helps me answer you more specifically.
3) If you have a success story to share, write "Success" in the subject line of the email. I read (and answer) these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.
PS: Also, for those of you who haven't yet, and if you want twice the dose of dating and seduction advice, make sure you sign up for the newsletter at: http://www.seductionmethod.com
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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