The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Thursday, 6:35 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN:

Dear Carlos,

I find it interesting that you are encouraging thousands if not millions of men to be completly dishonest to any women he meets. The goal from what I have gathered from your book is to disarm womens instincts play some stupid mind games in order to get a one night stand out of them. In other words you are using them.

You think we are dumb or something that we can't see through these little mind games. Let me give you a little piece of advice women respond most strongly to sincerity and honesty. I would love a man to be totally honest with me. Thats right peter pan totally honest with me.

"No I am not seeking a long term relationship right now just some one to have fun and party." says tom(for example)

Cool I would say and go from there. Women want men who are ready for a relationship yes we want flowers we want romance even if my guy had not one dam dime but made me a card for me and gave it to me out of the blue I would be thrilled and you know why carlos dear? because he thought of me when he did it.

Although I find your book from what I have gathered from your website to be dishonest in how it could be used to the reader. I find it interesting that men need guildence in any shape or form regarding the complixities of the opisite sex. Just tell your fellow followers to be honest.

If she is so willing to sleep with you is she really worth it and by the way women don't like to be teased regarding the whole Rules thing. Just tell her you don't like mind games and if you want something or want me to do something just ask. Point blank right to the point. I am honest with my boyfriends the least I would expect is for my man to be honest with me.

I am not trying to sound rude or offensive by anymeans it just I am sick and tried of how men treat women and how women treat men. Why can't we be honest with one another about what we want. And incase you were wondering what I want in a partner and what I am looking for is the following :

*sense of humour
*honest
*Who Likes videos?movies
*likes Pets
*camping/fishing
*traveling
*Cooking
*Video games
*likes massages
*reading
*walks on the beach
*Who can teach me basketball
*who likes baseball
*swiming/hottubing
*dancing

who I most of all will have fun with.

Talk soon
ashleigh

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Oh, yeah! I love it when a woman writes in with this stuff.

You know why? Because it only proves my point. It just highlights and makes obvious what I already know.

I'm right.

Let me increase your vocabulary this week. This is a word I learned from watching "Law & Order."

SOPHISTRY.

The definition?

"a deliberately invalid argument displaying ingenuity in reasoning in the hope of deceiving someone."

That's what "logic" like this amounts to in my book. It sounds good for a moment, and it sure fools a lot of men.

But in the end it doesn't get guys what they want, or the women what they want.

When was the last time that you heard a woman saying that she just wanted honesty and no games? And what happened?

Yeah, honesty is not always the best policy. Or, rather, unlimited disclosure can be bad for your dating health.

But let's address the letter:

The fact that you spent this much time writing an email to me - (out of gender anger that men are actually starting to catch on and share information the way women have for eons) - shows me that you know I'm on to something, too.

Typically I only hear from the women that are scared that we're finally catching on.

I'm going to answer some of the points here, not for the ladies, but for the guys who might have heard this line of reasoning before and are confused about what women "really" want.

CONTINUED...

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

First off, I'll tell you what I told the guy the other week - Please try using spell check once in a while. This letter was painful to read. Credibility is difficult when you can't spell "damn" correctly.

Next, let's go through this point by point. I don't want to miss a thing here.

1) You haven't read the book or the newsletters. Not a word. You know how I know this? Because NOWHERE in my newsletters, e-books, or audio do I suggest that men be untruthful or dishonest to women. NOWHERE in the books do I propose "using" women for one-night stands. (And don't pretend to me that you haven't had any of your own, little lady.)

I only discuss the shoring up of a MAN'S self-confidence through the understanding of how the dating and seduction game REALLY works. It's about psychology and the REALITY of human interactions. Not the way we "wish" it was.

2) It's interesting that women tend to interpret men's use of strategies and tactics as being dishonest or untruthful. Isn't that curious?

Hmmm, I see that it's good for WOMEN to have Rules, but if men do we're being dishonest. Is that how it really works?

Why would women be so sensitive about teasing them about the rules?

BECAUSE WOMEN KNOW THEY WORK!

Let me ask you: Are you being "honest" with a man when you cover up your true appearance with makeup? Perhaps you should leave that eye liner and lipstick off for your next date.

Are you being "honest" when you show off your cleavage or wear a wonderbra?
Just let your boobs hang loose and flat next time, and wear those frumpy old granny underwear.

Are you being "honest" you wear a sexy, slinky outfit? When you display your sexuality and desire to be visually attractive to men?

Are you being "honest" when you change your behavior or appearance to gain a man's approval?

Are you being "honest" when you hold back on saying what you mean in fear of turning a guy off?

Are you being "honest" when you don't tell a man all about your past se*xual experiences?

Tell me, where does this line between honesty and misrepresentation exist?

We're ALL dishonest in this way. It's called being socially CAREFUL and RESERVED.

We all want to present the BEST parts of ourselves so that we can get our foot in the door to future possibilities. I give men the OPTIONS they desire with the courage to get them.

That's all that any guy wants, and THAT is what I teach. And I'll stand by that for as long as I'm alive.

I teach men how to be better MEN, not how to cater to a woman's demands. In the end, this makes them MORE of what women want.

I teach men how to make their romantic situations a WIN-WIN for both the man and the woman. Check out chapter ... oh, wait, that's right, you didn't read the book.

Have you ever seen the movie "Liar Liar" with Jim Carrey? It's a great example of why we need to have the ability to lie in order to keep a veneer of social acceptance. You can't think that total honesty is the way to a better world. Our "white lies" form the lubrication for society's gears.

You show me a first date with complete honesty and I'll show you a supermodel without an eating disorder.

The ugly truth of life is that we NEED games. Anyone that tells you that social games don't exist for a purpose is a completely naive idiot.

Think about that for a minute. You're not being nearly as "honest" as you proclaim.

3) You said: "I find it interesting that men need guidance in any shape or form regarding the complexities of the opposite sex. Just tell your fellow followers to be honest." (spelling corrected.)

Tell me, guys... how many times has it gone like this: You're interested in a girl. You start seeing her. You start getting 'honest' about your feelings. She starts losing interest and eventually tells you she "needs more space" or wants to "see other people."

What I'm showing guys to do is how to be honest - but with PRUDENCE and RESTRAINT. I guarantee you that once a man's mystery is gone, so is he.

Look back in your past and tell me which guy you're more interested in - the one that leaves you wondering, or the one that you find out everything you want to know about?

Yeah, thought so.

So you find it interesting that men need guidance in understanding the opposite sex. Well, I find it interesting that if you pick up ANY woman's magazine, you find dozes of articles where women share information and guidance about men.

Hmmm... I find THAT interesting.

4) And I'm going to call your bullshit on the "if you want something, just ask" line of thinking.

It doesn't really work this way.

Yes, there is a level of honesty that must be maintained in a healthy RELATIONSHIP, but that's not what I'm here for, honey. There are plenty of other schmucks who can advise you on how to find the great White Light of Love. I deal with the first critical 30-60 days of the starting and getting together.

I'm here to help guys get with women so they get the CHANCE to form a relationship. IF they want one.

And I do that for thousands of guys each week. Read the testimonials of a few of them on the site and you'll see that what I teach WORKS. For both men AND women.

And none of them uses it to hurt or denigrate women in any way. You've been brainwashed by a pop culture that wants you to believe that men are all dogs and out for just one thing, and if left to our own ways we'd be raping and taking advantage of women.

90% of the difficulty for guys is in the first few weeks of romance and seduction. The rest of the problems that come later are there for you to learn and explore as you grow as a person.

5) Nice list, by the way. I'm actually sincere about that. (Except the one about the "walks on the beach" thing. Come on, what woman in the world doesn't want that. How cliche. Barf.)

I know you're secretly hoping I'm your type, that's why you sent me your list. I think you're coming on to me, aren't you?

If you'd read my books, you'd also know how I promote a sense of humor as one of the three "S"s of a guy's attitude.

Now allow me to expand a bit on your list...

Things Ashleigh is looking for but doesn't realize:

*A man who presents a CHALLENGE to her by not coming on too strong

*A man who is STRONG enough to present his opinion honestly without fear of reprisal

*A man who isn't TOO familiar by telling her everything about him

*A man who demonstrates INDEPENDENCE and NON-NEEDINESS by retaining a little aloofness and distance early on

*A man who isn't afraid to cut a woman off if she plays her games and tests.

*A man who gives her flowers and romance BUT ONLY as a genuine token of affection, NOT a transaction intended to manipulate her into se*x. (yes, this is something I have in my book. Oh, wait, you didn't read it...)

*A man who has enough of his own life that she wants to be a part of HIS passions and desires, too. Not just HER list of wants.

*A man who isn't such a pussy that he lets women (or men) walk all over him

*A man that she can feel SAFE and PROTECTED by, and this sometimes means giving her boundaries of acceptable behavior.

Oh, and please note that your list is asking for COMPATIBILITY, not CHEMISTRY. Those are two different things. Ask anyone who's answered an online ad for a person that "sounded" like what they wanted, and then met them to find that it just wasn't a good vibe.

6) Women respond to sincerity and honesty of CHARACTER and INTENT more than anything else. Think back to all the guys you've found desirable, and you'll realize that they had a thread of common traits to them. (Basically all the ones I listed in number 5 above.)

You're mistaking "honesty" with a reaction from your disgust, which I actually appreciate, dear. Most guys have felt this way since 1900. Probably a hell of a lot earlier. We're disgusted that the media and society has made it so damn difficult for men to be men and women to be women.

I can tell a lot about you, Ashleigh. You've been hurt quite a bit. Maybe by the "jerk" guys out there. Maybe by your own unrealistic expectations.

Maybe a bit of both.

And a woman's first reaction to this kind of hurt is to want an "idealistic" man, one she THINKS will make her feel good, but never does. It's always the guys that are hard-to-get that she feels most emotionally involved with. Not Mr. BORING who gives her everything she wants.

But don't dismiss the healthy social interaction abilities and the "dance" of intimacy as being unnecessary.

It's absolutely essential for both genders to get together.

It does seem kind of contradictory sometimes, doesn't it?

Be romantic.

But not TOO romantic.

Be attentive.

But not TOO attentive.

There are a lot of skills that you need these days to pull in a quality woman. And I explain the finer details to you, including some of these contradictions in the e-books.

How many times have you heard this:

"A man must be confident."

Or,

CONTINUED...

______________________

"Nice Guys just don't get laid."

The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not.

The reason is that the "nice guy" she says she wants is actually just a guy who won't emotionally hurt her, while giving her the ability to feel safe.

And you're still no closer to understanding how to drive up your confidence, either.

Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?

I just completed a brand-new e-book and 6-CD audio program that you have been waiting for.
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I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.

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Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.

If you haven't heard of it yet, the Advanced Audio Coaching could be the best thing you get for yourself this year. This monthly audio program will coach you through even the most tricky situations with women, with audio examples and so much more. Take a look at what's in this month's session 15:

- Sophistication - How to communicate sophistication to women and appeal to their inner dreams. How to attract her interest with your higher level tastes. How this develops to stronger rapport with every woman. With Examples.
- COURAGE - How to find the guts to approach women: The mental game of developing the right mindset to approach ANY woman. Re-framing and the four reasons you MUST approach her. With examples.
- MALE/FEMALE interaction - Why it's both bad and good to have women as friends. How to break the cycle of endless female friendship. How to increase your experience with women through research and increased interactions. How to read, interpret, and learn from female behavior to recognize patterns. The psychology of rejection fear, and how to break it. Finding the right way to take action. Finding patterns and common threads in female behavior.
- Contentious women - The test you may not realize you were getting. When a woman gains control of the conversation, and the Lose-Lose Test. How to counter with moral dilemma questions. With examples.
- How to impress a woman by presenting a "unique frame" - Here's an explanation of how those guys with the really unique angle on life attract women. We discuss how to present your personality in the most favorable light. How to demonstrate your passion and enthusiasm to trigger her interest. How to model others' behaviors and use for yourself. How to demonstrate presence and a unique philosophy. How to present without bragging.
- Playboy Exercise - How to discipline your eye contact and focus when talking with women. A complete exercise with examples.
- The "Old Friend" Approach and Mindset - A time-tested method for gaining trust and rapport with women. How to immediately place yourself in a zone of familiarity with a woman. Granting her emotional "credit."
- The role of Attraction and Trust - How much do you reveal about yourself to a woman while still maintaining mystery? How to qualify HER through the effective attitude of satisfying your own curiosity. The new "lipstick test" to find out what kind of personality she has.
- Emotional Intelligence - CONCLUSION - The necessary mental attitudes you must have to be successful. How to cut yourself off from failure through the cultivation of these success habits. The components of complete mental and physical fitness. Discovering what motivates you. The one essential trait of all great Alpha Men.

AND MUCH MORE!

You can download it here:
/audioprog.htm

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Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?

Thanks...

- Carlos

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

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