The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Thursday, 12:40 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

"Hey Carlos, I would just like to say thank you for being there to give guys advice... especially to the ones that don't always have a close father in their life. You've helped me through alot of my teenage crap, and your advice has guided me through some dating "leeches" that would like to have claimed my balls, but I still have them both. You're a great human. keep up the good work!!!! and continue to be there for us..."

QUESTION:

Well Carlos, it happened. I didn't think it would with this girl, but it happened. I find myself becoming immensly attracted to the girl who was giving me mixed signals last weekend. Last night my friends and these girls got a motel room, just to party and have fun in.

At first I just wanted to hook with the girl, but she said she wasn't into the one night stands which I respected of course. It actually made me think a lot more of her and as corny as it sounds we just "cuddled" and talked the whole night and it was actually fun. Her cousin told me she wants to see me again and wants me to call her. How long should I wait before calling her again?

One more thing. Supposedly she usually doesn't date guys like me. What I mean is, she has a history of dating older guys. Her and I are 20, and I guess she used to date 30 year olds. How can I compete with that?

It's like they have a huge advantage over me since she most likely thinks of them as more mature. She told her cousin she wasn't going to let something like this stop her from seeing me, but still.

I feel a little insecure. How can I keep her at bay and wanting more? I used the tease to please method you described in your book and it worked like a charm to get her interested in me in the first place. I want her to not be able to stop thinking of me. What do I have to do?

CARLOS ANSWERS:

You're hooked on the girl who is giving you mixed signals?

No way!

Are you sure?

Wow.

That's a surprise.

NOT!

Get ready to be called on the carpet for this one. I wouldn't be doing my job if I sugar coated this.

Dude, you're falling prey to the ONE thing I warn you about most.

When a woman runs hot and cold, the guy is INEVITABLY drawn in because he doesn't know where he stands with her.

Remember my recipe for emotional addiction:

Take 1 part Attraction and Hope mixed with 1 part Doubt and Uncertainty.

Stir together for a week or two, cook at room temperature, and you have HOPELESS INFATUATION.

(Add in a little Masturbation and Fantasy and you get TRUE LOVE.)

Sound harsh?

It's damn well true.

Guys fall for this one by the TRUCKLOADS.

Cuddle all night...?

Holy Shit, dude. You gotta be kidding me.

You fell for that one, too. This is another classic CHICK LURE.

They get you all hot and bothered, keep you at that temperature for HOURS and HOURS with no release, and in the process YOU are now totally smitten.

She gets EVERYTHING she wants, and you got next to NOTHING. She even used that line about "not wanting one night stands." EVERY WOMAN ON THE PLANET says that. Have you EVER heard a woman say they WANT a one night stand? (Review the "Slut Complex" from the e-books and audio.)

EVERY WOMAN on the PLANET will have a one night stand if the conditions are right. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to sleep with her on the first date, but WATCH OUT! She's now got you in the one-down position because she got the first right of refusal.

She's also got you feeling insecure about her dating history. Oh, that's great.

She's even got you feeling like you have to PROVE yourself to her. (i.e., QUALIFYING.)

And you're even imagining you're in competition with GUYS WHO DON'T EVEN EXIST YET.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

She's messing with your mind.

Let's see, you used my strategies to get her interested.

Now you ask what's the best way for you to get her to keep her wanting more?

Hmm.

Gee, I don't know....

How about you KEEP DOING what I tell you in the books.

And since she's now more interesting to you for having treated you this way ...

... Why don't you do to HER what SHE IS DOING TO YOU?

That's right, you give HER the SAME EXACT treatment (without looking like you're doing it out of revenge...)

Give HER a little uncertainty and doubt.

She needs to be qualifying herself to YOU. Not the other way around.

Call her in four days from when you last spoke to her. But don't talk to her. Leave her a message that hints that you'll call her back. Maybe.

THen let HER sit in uncertainty for a while longer.

And for gosh sakes, man, get out there and meet more women. You'll buffer this infatuation and keep yourself stable.

If you don't, next week you'll be writing to me wanting to know why she's suddenly gone after you left her flowers and poems.

Don't laugh. I'm dead serious.

CONTINUED...

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

QUESTION:

Carlos,

Ok, basically the issue is bringing up to woman the topic of the fact that I don't want a serious relationship, that I like to sleep with whomever I want, etc. When should I address this to a woman I am interested in-BEFORE I get physical with her or after?

If she asks my dating status prior, how should I address it, and are the words to be used important?

I find this really confusing, because I feel like the the woman will feel led on maybe if I don't tell her what I want right away but at the same time I feel like it will get all her defenses up, she get the anti slut thing going on and may reject getting physical with me, not getting to FEEL how good sleeping with me is, and I think once a woman feels this she will be more inclined to sleep with me regardless.

Basically I bring this up because I had conflicts with the last few gals I got involved with about this. We all know that woman by nature seem to prefer just sleeping with one guy at a time, want more committed relationships then men probably, etc.

The thing is, the guys woman are attracted to most probably are sleeping around, talk to a lot of woman, etc. etc...so obviously the guys woman want the most are sleeping with lots of woman in many cases, ones who say all the things like "I don't want to get hurt, I only sleep with a man who only sleeps with me too, I want commitment, " etc. etc.

I mean some of the best guys out there with woman have slept with hundreds and the rare ones thousands of women, I mean what the hell do these guys do? Sleep with a woman the first day they meet and never talk to her again? Thanks for the advice...

-D

CARLOS:

The answer to this situation has a couple sides.

First of all, ask yourself WHY YOU CARE if she knows you are dating other people.

Because of what you think she'd think of you, right?

Most guys are very afraid of letting a woman know that they're dating other people because they think the woman only wants a guy who wants a LONG TERM relationship.

Not so.

This is what a woman LOGICALLY might think... but once she's in a relationship, she'll find her way out if she wants another guy.

(And this is often how it goes down. A woman thinks that she's a slut if she sleeps with a bunch of men, so she'll figure her own way of getting out of a relationship if it suits her.)

You see, women aren't ready to settle down at 18.

Or 20.

Or 22.

In fact, most women don't feel the need to "settle down" until MUCH later, and a guy on her hip all the time would seriously be an obstacle to her FUN.

In fact, there are a LOT of women that only want the occasional one night stands. (Of course, they'd never admit this, but it's true.)

AND it's been proven statistically that women cheat JUST AS MUCH as men do.

But who do you hear about more often?

When MEN cheat.

Hmm.

I wonder why that's so.

Actually, I already know. It's because women can keep secrets, and men CANNOT.

So don't cloud your thinking with the idea that you have to lie or withhold your intentions from a woman to keep her around.

You said: "We all know that woman by nature seem to prefer just sleeping with one guy at a time, want more committed relationships then men probably, etc."

This is a common misunderstanding about women. You even suspect that it might not be right because you added that "probably" on at the end.

Women keep this perception up because it makes them seem more EXCLUSIVE and HARD TO GET. It works to their ADVANTAGE if you think they want something that you don't.

It's true that women tend to prefer dating just one guy, but that's only AFTER she's become attached to the one guy. Hell, even MEN prefer just one woman after they've become emotionally attached.

So f***ing what?

The best way is to be up-front and clear, but tell her nothing certain as to how you feel about her.

If she asks about being exclusive before you get physical, tell her before. If you get physical, it's your responsibility to let her know RIGHT AFTER that you aren't looking to settle down right away.

If she gets mad, that's her problem. You didn't mislead her just because you didn't give her a speech before you did the nasty. (And NO, you're not a BAD man or a DOG if you do this.)

You have to let a woman know she's got to prove herself before you will keep her for the long term.

Beware of your assumptions.

You don't need to make a relationship commitment to sleep with a woman. In fact, that's one sure fire way to scare them off.

All you have to do is tell her you are still looking for the right woman for you, and it MIGHT be her.

And it might NOT.

You just need to see where things go FOR NOW. GIve her hope that it COULD be her, if she proves herself WORTHY. And you don't make that decision for AT LEAST a month or two.

Then bust HER chops for being in a rush to get serious with you so quickly.

Try it.

It works.

In fact, I created a program especially focused on handling these and many other situations so that you can establish your value, believe in it, and then communicate it to women.

If you don't have it already, you need to get my DATING BLACK BOOK e-book right away. This e-book program provides you with the inside knowledge to understand and get more women in your life.

Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm

And if you're ready to take the next step to start becoming the man you were meant to be, you have to look at my latest program.

It's my Secrets of the Alpha Man course.

There are a lot of skills that you need these days to pull in a quality woman. And I explain the finer details to you, including some of these contradictions in my e-books.

The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's NOT.

The reason is that the "nice guy" she says she wants is actually just a guy who won't emotionally hurt her, while giving her the ability to feel safe.

But he still sets up boundaries of acceptable behavior, and he knows the "nice" thing is often the ASSERTIVE thing. The CONFIDENT thing.

And you're still no closer to understanding HOW to drive up your confidence, either.

Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?

I've got a new e-book and 6-CD audio program that every guy needs to have.

We've even got a new site at: http://www.alphaseduction.com

This program covers ALL aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to TOTAL self-confidence.

This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!

I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and HUNDREDS of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.

You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com

CONTINUED...

______________________

If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.

If you haven't heard of it yet, the Advanced Audio Coaching could be the best thing you get for yourself this year. This monthly audio program will coach you through even the most tricky situations with women, with audio examples and so much more. Take a look at what's in this month's session 15:

- Sophistication - How to communicate sophistication to women and appeal to their inner dreams. How to attract her interest with your higher level tastes. How this develops to stronger rapport with every woman. With Examples.

- COURAGE - How to find the guts to approach women: The mental game of developing the right mindset to approach ANY woman. Re-framing and the four reasons you MUST approach her. With examples.

- MALE/FEMALE interaction - Why it's both bad and good to have women as friends. How to break the cycle of endless female friendship. How to increase your experience with women through research and increased interactions. How to read, interpret, and learn from female behavior to recognize patterns. The psychology of rejection fear, and how to break it. Finding the right way to take action. Finding patterns and common threads in female behavior.

- Contentious women - The test you may not realize you were getting. When a woman gains control of the conversation, and the Lose-Lose Test. How to counter with moral dilemma questions. With examples.

- How to impress a woman by presenting a "unique frame" - Here's an explanation of how those guys with the really unique angle on life attract women. We discuss how to present your personality in the most favorable light. How to demonstrate your passion and enthusiasm to trigger her interest. How to model others' behaviors and use for yourself. How to demonstrate presence and a unique philosophy. How to present without bragging.

- Playboy Exercise - How to discipline your eye contact and focus when talking with women. A complete exercise with examples.

- The "Old Friend" Approach and Mindset - A time-tested method for gaining trust and rapport with women. How to immediately place yourself in a zone of familiarity with a woman. Granting her emotional "credit."

- The role of Attraction and Trust - How much do you reveal about yourself to a woman while still maintaining mystery? How to qualify HER through the effective attitude of satisfying your own curiosity. The new "lipstick test" to find out what kind of personality she has.

- Emotional Intelligence - CONCLUSION - The necessary mental attitudes you must have to be successful. How to cut yourself off from failure through the cultivation of these success habits. The components of complete mental and physical fitness. Discovering what motivates you. The one essential trait of all great Alpha Men.

AND MUCH MORE!

You can download it here:
/audioprog.htm

You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!

Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?

Thanks...

- Carlos

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

Click HERE to learn more...