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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Wednesday, 9:10 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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CHEATING
Every so often I read something that makes me scratch my head. This is one that used to bother me a while back, but then I realized the fault in the logic.
The situation is this:
Guy meets girl who's got a boyfriend. They mess around. Guy asks me if he should pursue it with this gal even if she has a boyfriend.
Now most "gurus" out there tell you that you shouldn't, and even if you do start a relationship with her, you'll always know she's a cheater.
Well, let's be honest here:
Cheating isn't a character trait. It's an EVENT.
It's also an event that was usually helped along by the boyfriend being a total CHUMP and not being an Alpha.
Meaning that a woman may lack the self-esteem to break it off with her current guy before she's found a replacement guy, but this is a common problem with women. Especially younger women who don't feel "whole" unless they've got a boyfriend.
If you cheat, you're most likely not getting what you need at home. Like the saying goes: If you got steak at home, you don't go out for hamburger.
So there are two choices - turn what you got into steak, or move on. Sometimes we need a little help in that "move on" part.
So the whole, "she's a cheater, and you'll never be able to trust her" thing really doesn't wash with me.
In fact, I'd bet that over 80-90% of all women (and men, for that matter), have cheated. The other 10-20% are either lying or are in denial.
The chick you just went out with? I'll bet she has cheated in the past.
It doesn't mean she'll cheat in the future, and it's not like the Scarlet Letter. A person should not be branded for life.
Most women overlap their relationships a little. And they rationalize it away like you wouldn't believe. So if you were to ask, you'd get HER definition of the truth.
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HIM: "Have you ever cheated on anyone before?"
HER: "I almost did once, but I stopped before anything happened."
TRANSLATION: "I went down on him in his car, but I felt bad, so I stayed away from him and didn't ever tell anyone. That makes it not cheating. I learned this from a certain ex-president."
Quite a clever re-defining of "stopped before anything happened", huh?
There are three sides to every story: Yours, mine, and the truth.
But for some very obvious reasons, it's very taboo to reveal or talk about your past cheating. It smacks of "adultery." (When I was a kid, I always thought that was a stupid term, and I still do now.)
The reality is that cheating is exciting. It's illicit. It's dirty.
And it feels so bad, and so good at the same time. Hey, we're all weak in the flesh.
If she's genuinely interested in you, just set the condition that she needs to break it off with the old one before you'll start with her. You'll learn really quick whether you are just a fling, or the real thing.
I did this once in the past, and it works. She dumped him. I even gave her a little "time," but you know how that works. And she was faithful to me.
Everybody cheats.
I have.
I bet YOU have.
Get over it.
The way to cure cheating from a woman is to be so damn Alpha, she'll be chasing you the whole time she's with you. And she'll love you for it until the day you die.
That's why the women I'm with never cheat on me. They're too busy working to keep me that they don't have the urge. I just make sure they realize that they've got a 'catch' that they don't want to lose.
RULE: A woman that is chasing a man will not cheat on him.
And vice-versa.
The secret to happiness, as the wise have said, is to learn how to want what you already HAVE.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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ALPHA MAN IMMERSION 2006 - SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
This seminar will be held the first weekend of March (3/3/2006 - 3/5/2006).
We're going to cover all areas of attitude, change, psychology, inner game and outer game. We're also including training on the approach, and following it up with a special session on locking in your new success habits into an Alpha Lifestyle.
We'll even be doing a real approach bootcamp in local clubs.
This seminar is an exclusive and limited event.
Don't wait. The seating is by reservation only, and this will be a VERY limited group. Carlos wants to be able to work with a closely knit focus group on specific details of their game. He reserves the right to close admission at ANY time to serve the needs of the group.
You won't just be sitting back in some classroom and taking notes... you'll be LIVING the Alpha Mindset.
When you're ready, make your reservation here:
http://www.mensdatingadvice.com/mens-dating-advice-seminar.htm
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WEEPY "ROMANTIC" CRAP:
Hi Carlos,
this is just an aside related around music videos and the message that is blasted out to men and women everywhere.
This song, which I hear every morning when my clock radio goes off disturbs me on so many levels. It is apparently #1 on the local radio station, and I for the life of me, can not figure out why!
Artist: James Blunt Song: 'You're Beautiful' Album: Back to Bedlam
http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?pmmsid=1368632
Now that i have seen the video, i don't know what to say! This song is neither sad or romantic, it is disturbing.
Well, just had to voice my 2 cents to someone that would have an appreciation for the various messages that are blasted at us.
I think something that would be interesting would be a list of movie scenes and music videos that show classic, male alpha behaviour... Those cheesy and not so cheesy, that show poise and good body positioning.
Something that you could through out there, onto your blog, possibly use to market your various upcoming dvd's.
formally shy but now a cute ass chaser.
:)
Take care,
C
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CARLOS:
Yeah, this video was disturbing to me, too, and I know exactly why:
1) It implies that this guy is committing suicide or some great self-less act because he'll never get this woman he's singing about. His actions during the video scream "I'M A NEEDY LOSER!" so loud that I can't hear what he was singing.
2) Okay, I did hear a little of what he was crying about in his video. The lyrics imply that A) He is yet another stooge that can only fall in love with unavailable women, thus relieving him of the responsibility of going out and getting what he wants. And B) That women are to be adored as priceless fragile items of beauty.
In fact, this dork didn't even lip-sync his own words all that well. The emphasis was all wrong. And he really needs to wash his hair.
Wait, I'm not done being critical.
He needs to go to the gym and work out, and then get in touch with his inner MAN. He wrote this song to all the women he never managed to get l a i d by. He just quietly lurked around corners hoping for her to come over to him, or he just fantasized about ways to kill her boyfriends.
I say, LOVE women.
Don't worship them.
And they would agree.
And the ones that don't agree are not women you EVER want to be with.
If you watch this video, remember that this is a classic example of a wuss in action. This is the crap that turns today's men into simpering, whiney little b i t c h e s. They cry a lot and go to support groups where they try to get in touch with their inner child. And some even start to become "feminists" and believe that women have a raw deal in this world.
Uh, NOT.
I don't want to catch any of you Alpha Men out there putting this song on a compilation CD for some chick you're trying to nab. If you do I'll find you!
As for Alpha Examples, I'm currently in the process of putting that together. If you guys search the blog, you'll find my Alpha Heavy Metal iMix list that you can get from iTunes.
My first suggestion: Watch every James Bond movie out there. Then all 3 of the Indiana Jones movies.
That's a good start.
I wrote the book on this subject of Alpha Men (literally and figuratively) and now I want you guys to reap the benefits.
I have spent YEARS and YEARS out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why you should have to.
If you're reading these emails, you're getting the best advice on being the kind of man a woman needs, but you're not getting the full gameplan. I have that for you in my Alpha Man program.
Really, do you want to go through 2006 without taking care of this? Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down strategies are exactly what my Alpha Man Program will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these "Alpha" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Get understanding so that you can make 2006 the year you took care of yourself and started being really successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
And it's guar anteed, with better than 100% back if you don't agree.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
Oh, and I've got a new e-book and CD audio program you'll want to have a look at. This program covers every part of your ability to approach women.
You can see this life-changing program here:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
My new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for developing the skill to approach women RIGHT NOW.
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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