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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Monday, 9:25 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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"Your books are great and give greater insight each time I re-read them..." -David D.
Hey: We've got something special coming for you in just a couple days ...
I don't usually promote another product that I haven't personally created from scratch, but this is one you'll WANT to get.
I've got a big-package deal for you on a set of books that just ROCKS...
Of course, I am a key contributor to this project, but I'm not biased. :)
My friend Simon Heong has just created a new e-book with the Best of the Best in advice from the dating field.
These e-books are a HUGE deal with tips from 11 different experts in every area of dating and seduction. Yours truly (that's me) is the headline contributor. Yep, I've got the lead place in the e-book with dozens of tips for you.
Imagine getting a huge, 300+ page e-book, along with EIGHT bonus special reports covering every topic from Internet Dating to getting a woman to approach you, to a woman's perspective on men and dating.
The offer may run out, but I got all of my subscribers a guaranteed copy on reserve for Thursday.
It's coming soon...
I'll keep you posted...
-Carlos
QUESTION:
hey man I really need help...I�m getting really confused...I�ve been approaching a lot of girls... and I don�t know if there is a age problem
I don�t know if I�m not doing the cocky and funny , but something is happening here that every single girl I approach I get turned down... of course I just approach awesome girls...
but here is the deal... today I went in the club , I hit some girls with the cocky and funny, they were hitting my arm caressing their hair, smiling and sh*t, but when I went for the kiss, they turned me down....
ok , now I have another question... there are about 3 girls that are in love with their ex�s or some other guy, you said that there is no competition, but how about when the guy they are in love got the skill???? what can I do to win their attraction...
please help me with the questions, and give me some motivation, I'm really down right now, and my self esteem is not high at all...
sincerely
-R
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CARLOS SHAKES HIS HEAD AND ANSWERS:
This is a great example of the machinery and necessity of being an ALPHA.
So what's going on here?
Well, let me tell you first off:
1) Self-esteem SEEMS linked to how women treat you, but it really isn't. Your sense of who you are comes from your own security and independence.
2) "Cocky and Funny" isn't enough to get you to second base. It gets her interested, but you have to have the skills to take it to the next stage with her if you're going to go from flirty looks to spit-swapping. Everybody thinks that cocky and funny is the deal, but it's only PART of the equation. It's a fuse, not the explosive.
3) Of course you approach "awesome" girls. Because men totally dig hot looking chicks. But they do have a different pattern than "average" girls. And they know a "Beta" guy when he comes along.
4) It sounds like you're rushing the kiss. If it's within the first five or ten minutes, it's going to be rushed. Yes, there are guys out there who can go for a kiss in the first 10 minutes, but it's only with an incredibly strong frame of reference to their approach. You can't do this if your self-esteem sucks.
5) The harsh reality is that if a guy's game is "on," and she's digging him, and your game is "off," then you've got no real chance. A woman can really only focus on one primary interest at one time. If you're not that interest, than you have to count on that other guy screwing it up first before you get your shot. (Which he eventually will.)
6) I really can't motivate you. It seems like it, but in reality, only YOU can motivate YOU. I'll give you a little pep talk and advice, but an Alpha Man motivates himself, or finds the passions that motivate him. (More on this in a bit...)
You want to know what to do to attract these girls who are digging their ex's. Why not see what behavior they're using and emulate it?
I'll bet any amount of money:
- They don't act needy or come on too strong
- In fact, they're probably even pushing these women AWAY slightly, because they've got many women going in their lives
- They've got the "home field" advantage with these women. They started out with a strong initial attraction. It's hard to beat that when you're coming in from the side. You have to come up with a STRONG presence and attitude.
But the most important of all these points is the one I wrote in the section above. Number 1.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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Your self-esteem isn't in HER hands; it's in YOUR hands.
You're spending too much time validating your self-worth in the eyes of another woman. If you feel bad about yourself because you don't have the interest of a woman, you're going about this backwards.
I talk about this situation in detail in the current Advanced Audio Coaching. You're making the mistake I highlight about "outside-in" validation. (Pick up Session 14 and listen to track 5 again.)
The reality is that women KNOW how you feel about yourself. It's painted on your face, your body language, and it's hidden in your choice of words.
You can't always "fake it." In fact, you almost NEVER can with women. They smell out your self-esteem in a heartbeat.
They're trained to do it. Since they were just little girls playing with their girlfriends, they learned the dynamics of social interactions by talking, SHARING information, and observing. This was all going on while you were snapping towels and lighting farts.
They've got the lead on you.
So you need to cultivate your own INNER state to be the most stable and strong you can be.
These girls don't make out with you because you were:
A) Not in a private enough situation (you can't make out in a bar without very HIGH levels of attraction and Kino going on.)
B) Moving too soon without laying the ground work of RAPPORT. You skipped a stone on the progression (See: "Transitions" Stone 4 and 5 - Page 20)
C) Moving in without a clear sense of self-confidence. No matter how well you may have carried off the strategies, they don't mean anything if there isn't CONGRUENCE to go along with them. If you moved in for the kiss because YOU wanted to, rather than when SHE wanted you to, you ignored the primary rule of seduction - it doesn't matter unless SHE wants it.
D) Focused on getting what YOU want rather than giving her what SHE needs.
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Here's your solution:
Get busy on the OTHER parts of your life.
Yeah, you heard me. Get a life.
Get hobbies. Get other things going that make YOU happy and fulfilled. When you focus on women TOO much, you become too wrapped up in their opinion of you, and your game suffers as a result.
This is why Alpha Men are very self-involved.
Not "self absorbed."
Not "selfish."
Self-INVOLVED.
They have a purpose of their own in life, and THAT is immensely attractive to women.
THAT motivates them.
Do you have anything else that you're passionate about in life? That is what you need to find to re-establish your sense of self-confidence again.
If you keep placing the burden of your self-esteem on your ability to draw women, you'll be chasing their approval for the rest of your life. And it will probably NEVER come.
Women are a MOTIVATION, not a DESTINATION.
You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence.
And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.
Now, you know that you can get the inside tactics and tips on effective dating and pickup skills in my e-book, The Dating Black Book. If you don't have it, you need to GET IT NOW. Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
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When you're ready to take the NEXT STEP and develop the inner and outer game necessary to WIN OVER any woman you want, you're probably a candidate for becoming an ALPHA MAN.
You see, most guys kiss up to a woman and work too hard to get a woman's attention (or "win her back"), not knowing that they need to get her ATTRACTION.
And you can't do it with a soft, nice guy attitude. You get "Nice" when you lose confidence in yourself.
Can you be firm and controlled?
Do you have what it takes to CHALLENGE women?
Or are you going to break down and treat her ... NICE.
How many times have you heard this:
"Nice Guys just don't get laid."
The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not. And now we are going to show you the reasons why, and help you get rid of the "Nice Guy" forever.
Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?
Well, the Secrets are here.
I've just completed a brand-new e-book and 6-CD audio program that you have been waiting for.
We've even got a new site at: http://www.alphaseduction.com
This book covers all aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to total self-confidence.
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
If you haven't heard of it yet, the Advanced Audio Coaching could be the best thing you get for yourself this year. This monthly audio program will coach you through even the most tricky situations with women, with audio examples and so much more. Take a look at what's in this month's session:
SESSION 13 - SPECIAL: Over 130 minutes of audio coaching this month, including:
- Avoidance Syndrome - Why women avoid you, and what you can do to avoid this syndrome. Why women don't return calls, and why they choose to ignore you or distance themselves. Why she flakes out on you.
- Continuous Improvement: The philosophy and method of growth to ensure that you get better each day. The power of repetition. How to use comparison and insecurity to your benefit. What kind of men women revere the most.
- Female Socialization - How women develop their attitudes and outlooks. How they're reinforced. Their origins as girls all the way to women. How looks affect her development.
- Chemistry - Ever have a woman lose that loving feeling? Learn how a woman defines "chemistry," and how you can make sure she feels it with you.
- Phone Due Diligence - A new skill to maximize your benefits from your list of phone numbers. How to persevere to get the best results. How to track each woman. Handling Cell phones and caller ID.The right number and frequency of calling. How to handle a woman that doesn't even remember you to get a date. How to handle a woman that says she has a "boyfriend"
- Balance - A complete discussion on how to balance aloofness with interest in the right measure. The see-saw example of judging healthy distance. Doubt as your fulcrum of power. How to change your tone and use this dynamic to ensure her continued interest.
- Speed - How Nice Guys trip themselves up in their pacing. Speed and how it translates to desperation. Why we need challenge and tension. Why you can never defy "hard to get."
- EXERCISE - Emotional Intelligence - How to understand the emotions that hold you back. Avoiding your automatic responses. The two responses to fear. How to handle your fear through your own special belief. Removing anxiety, hurt, and anger.
And more!
You can download it here:
/audioprog.htm
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Thanks...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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