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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 7:50 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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"Your books are great and give greater insight each time I re-read them..." -David D.
PSSST: We have so many subscribers now that I wanted to let you in on a secret...
In the next few days I'm going to send you a link to a very special offer. I've been working over the last few months as a contributor to some new products that you're going to want to see.
I'll be sending a link for this to you soon...
QUESTION:
The DBB kicks ass my friend and will certainly help recovering nice guys everywhere !!
A general question about the initial dating dynamic (on a rather philosophical level) and not a specific dating question quite yet :
What percentage of women, in your experience, after having their attraction mechanisms initially going wild because of the Alpha-Male characteristics that you've taught us to reclaim for ourselves (and for women), still need the special assurance of "It's really me, that he�s after, and he's not bedding every hottie that crosses his path" ?
Are the Alpha-Male behaviors enough most of the time to override her need (perhaps perceived on my part) to feel that special feeling of being pursued??
I ask that question, because one always hears here in Germany the saying, "Women want to be conquered". I always considered that to be some silly German clich�, but is there any truth in it ??
Do some or all women along the dating continuum need to feel that yes, it is truly her that we are pursuing before they can open themselves to a sexual encounter ?? Damn, I hope that wasn't a "nice guy" question, because re-reading it, it certainly sounds like one...... :-)
Keep up the good work jedi-master
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CARLOS: Ah, yes... I remember when I used to spar with Yoda in light saber duels...
Did you know Yoda used to be a total stud?
(And I'll forgive your "Nice Guy" tone... Heck, I think we're all "Nice" at heart, but need to learn the right way to show it to women. More on this in a bit...)
For you guys that still don't have my e-book, you can get it here: www.datingdynamics.com
As for your German saying, yes, I believe that women DO want to be conquered. That is how she knows she's dealing with a real MAN. An ALPHA Man.
The one thing that women do not want to do is YOUR JOB.
Your job?
To seduce HER. A woman will not do your work for you. YOU are the conquerer.
First off, let's set one thing straight:
It's not your job to give reassurance.
That's a tempting trap when you get to a certain point in the seduction process with a woman, to think that her doubts need reassurance. They don't. Nor is it her job to reassure you. That sets up an insecurity dynamic that can really get things off on the wrong foot.
When you switch gears into reassuring her instead of INCREASING her ATTRACTION, you drop the ball.
The best analogy I have for this is baseball: It's like being at bat, and then trying to get into the pitcher's head. You have to focus on one thing and one thing ONLY - hitting the ball.
Let her do her job, you do yours. You are only there to respond to the pitch as it's thrown and swing accordingly, not try to change the pitcher's thinking.
Make sense?
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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The switch in thinking here that leads to an error is when you stop focusing from your position of power, and start the people-pleasing that turns women off.
It is a form of approval seeking to reassure a woman that you're "not a player."
However, you do have a legitimate concern that this may come up as a concern of hers. It might. If you let her go too long without the playful interaction that drives up her sexual tension, she's going to have a rest period where she will start to second-guess herself. She'll want some doubts calmed.
But you should NOT address this directly with words. Only with actions.
Here's a rule to live by in dating and seduction: Women will give you what you want when you give them enough of what THEY want.
You're absolutely right: Women DO need to feel UNIQUE. They must feel that you are addressing their personal uniqueness before they will go further with you. If they sense that you are treating them as an object - or just plain COMMON - they will back off and disappear.
How do you make them feel unique?
1) Focus your attention on THEM. Not on the waitress' 38DD rack. Not on the booty of that cutie. Not on anything but HER. (Also, don't turn your Manson-lamps on and give her a freaky psycho stare.) Make it clear that SHE is important enough to warrant your focus of attention.
2) Use her name. The most important word in the world to anyone is their own name. USE IT. It's commanding and personal, and it works wonders with women.
3) Express an interest in things that are particular to HER. Her family, her background, her interests. Just don't go crazy with your questioning. Lean back and find one topic she seems to be especially excited about, and then pounce on that one.
(I'm going to recommend a book here that most people have heard of but few appreciate: Dale Carnegie's - HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. It's old, but it's a must-read.)
Let me state the cardinal rule: To gain trust - BE TRUSTABLE. It starts with your integrity. Don't expect women to fall into bed with you if you're being devious. Start with your own character.
Just don't think that TELLING her will cure the problem. And don't assume it's there when it might not. (That's just a bit of natural insecurity. We don't want to give off that "player" vibe.")
Women want you to make them feel special, and if you do that right - with sincerity, she'll never question whether or not you are trying to play her. Start with a sincere interest in other people, and you will have no problem making her feel like opening up to you.
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Which leads me to this: You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence.
And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."
It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.
BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.
I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.
Now, you know that you can get the inside tactics and tips on effective dating and pickup skills in my e-book, The Dating Black Book. If you don't have it, you need to GET IT NOW. Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
When you're ready to take the NEXT STEP and develop the inner and outer game necessary to WIN OVER any woman you want, you're probably a candidate for becoming an ALPHA MAN.
You see, most guys kiss up to a woman and work too hard to get a woman's attention (or "win her back"), not knowing that they need to get her ATTRACTION.
And you can't do it with a soft, nice guy attitude. You get "Nice" when you lose confidence in yourself.
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Can you be firm and controlled?
Do you have what it takes to CHALLENGE women?
Or are you going to break down and treat her ... NICE.
How many times have you heard this:
"Nice Guys just don't get laid."
The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not. And now we are going to show you the reasons why, and help you get rid of the "Nice Guy" forever.
Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?
Well, the Secrets are here.
I've just completed a brand-new e-book and 6-CD audio program that you have been waiting for.
We've even got a new site at: http://www.alphaseduction.com
This book covers all aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to total self-confidence.
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
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CONTINUED...
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If you haven't heard of it yet, the Advanced Audio Coaching could be the best thing you get for yourself this year. This monthly audio program will coach you through even the most tricky situations with women, with audio examples and so much more. Take a look at what's in this month's session:
SESSION 13 - SPECIAL: Over 130 minutes of audio coaching this month, including:
- Avoidance Syndrome - Why women avoid you, and what you can do to avoid this syndrome. Why women don't return calls, and why they choose to ignore you or distance themselves. Why she flakes out on you.
- Continuous Improvement: The philosophy and method of growth to ensure that you get better each day. The power of repetition. How to use comparison and insecurity to your benefit. What kind of men women revere the most.
- Female Socialization - How women develop their attitudes and outlooks. How they're reinforced. Their origins as girls all the way to women. How looks affect her development.
- Chemistry - Ever have a woman lose that loving feeling? Learn how a woman defines "chemistry," and how you can make sure she feels it with you.
- Phone Due Diligence - A new skill to maximize your benefits from your list of phone numbers. How to persevere to get the best results. How to track each woman. Handling Cell phones and caller ID.The right number and frequency of calling. How to handle a woman that doesn't even remember you to get a date. How to handle a woman that says she has a "boyfriend"
- Balance - A complete discussion on how to balance aloofness with interest in the right measure. The see-saw example of judging healthy distance. Doubt as your fulcrum of power. How to change your tone and use this dynamic to ensure her continued interest.
- Speed - How Nice Guys trip themselves up in their pacing. Speed and how it translates to desperation. Why we need challenge and tension. Why you can never defy "hard to get."
- EXERCISE - Emotional Intelligence - How to understand the emotions that hold you back. Avoiding your automatic responses. The two responses to fear. How to handle your fear through your own special belief. Removing anxiety, hurt, and anger.
And more!
You can download it here:
/audioprog.htm
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Thanks...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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