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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 3:25 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
I have been subscribing to your newsletter for awhile. Great advice to us men. I have a question for you i hope you can answer. I have this lady friend of mine we have been dating since this past june. Over the next several days I am thinking about asking to become my girlfriend. I would like your advice on how i should ask her. Thank you for taking your time in answering my question.
CARLOS:
Do NOT ask her to be your "girlfriend." It can't be your request. It has to be hers.
If you do ask her, you risk coming on too strong with her and losing her interest. A woman wants to be the one to "catch" you, not the other way around.
By "girlfriend," I assume you mean something different than monogamous. I assume you mean that you want to "lock her in" to only date you.
This is almost always a bad move. Give her enough doubt and fear about the possibility of losing YOU that she asks for more. It's the only way it works right.
Think about it. "Asking" her is self-defeating. She's not waiting for you to ask her. If she wants it, she will start hinting about it. No woman ever "gave up" on a guy just because he didn't ask her for security. She gives up on you when you become too easy and boring.
What will happen if you ask her is that she will start to lose her feelings of attraction for you. She'll start to feel like the "magic" isn't there. And I guarantee you that she'll suddenly start calling less, and needing some "space." The only reason you're still around is because you HAVEN'T asked her yet.
In short, there will be no fun left because you're just trying to make things "certain" by doing this. It serves only your need for security, not her need for mystery.
Get it?
Be patient. Give her enough space to realize her own desires.
Let her reel you in.
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QUESTION:
Carlos,
First of all, I want to thank you for your book and newsletters. Since I began reading them and practicing the techniques you outline, my dating life has changed dramatically. I changed from being the guy who never gets laid to bedding women I had previously thought unattainable.
Since using your material, I met a woman who brought me meals to my job site every day and frequently showed up at my house in the middle of the night just to give me great sex, then another woman who paid for my hotel room when on an out-of-town business trip and then flew me to South Carolina to spend 4 days (and nights!) with her, and then another 19-year-old hottie with whom I spent a week in Veracruz who still calls me frequently begging me to go bang her. My sex/dating life has been way better, but I am concerned about something.
When I first began to practice your techniques, I was constanly improving my game, more on the beam each day. Recently however, I have grown complacent. I have gone back to full-time construction work so I am usually wearing dirty construction clothes when I run errands. Since I get laid basically whenever I wish, I have quit working out. Young hotties who used to smile at me now look at me with a different attitude. I need to get back on the beam, back to exhibiting the Alpha Male characteristics.
What I really want is a college-educated woman around thirty, a woman with looks and brains. I have gotten all the great sex I desired--in fact I am still getting it--but I have found my self slipping back into old habits such as letting women take control, failing to be mysterious and aggressive, e.g. being a nice guy.
Don't take me wrong. I did get a young hottie's e-mail at a job interview yesterday, three woman called me today, one is waiting for me tonight at midnight, so my momentum is not yet gone. Things are exponentially better than they were. However, I want to get headed back in the right direction NOW, while I have some momentum. How do I do it?
CARLOS: Ah, the old "Women are no challenge to me" slump.
Gosh, you can hear all the guys out there just weeping for you. You poor soul. I guess you'll just have to set your sights on world domination or something else instead.
Isn't it funny how the drive to conquer women seems to be the most important in the world?
Until you can actually DO it.
That's why I wrote those books and created these programs. So every guy can have this kind of success. And then move on to the REAL challenges in their lives. Congratulations to you for getting it, using it, and getting those results most guys only talk about.
First of all, my new Alpha Man Program is da bomb, dude. You should grab it, because it will give you the right start on the path of that inner game and answering your motivational questions. I cover the primary nature of the Alpha Man and how to motivate yourself to higher levels in the e-book and CDs.
Get it here: http://www.alphaseduction.com
But let me take a stab at addressing what's missing in your life ...
CHALLENGE!
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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Men need a challenge just as much as women do. Only our challenges usually take the form of goals and passions. Self-development and growth is essential for an Alpha Man's survival.
You see, you're finding that it's actually easy to slip into complacency when you get the hang of this.
The contradiction you may have discovered is that you don't really have to be all that great in appearance to get women if you have the right ATTITUDE.
What you need to do for yourself is RAISE the bar.
You already know what you want, which is a big step toward getting it. Once you have a firm idea of what you're looking for, it's time to let the dogs out.
You need to redirect your current energy in the right direction.
First of all, if you weren't having this level of success, you'd probably be working to get to it. That's just human nature. When you don't have the constructive tension to drive you, you're just going to wait for it.
Right away, if any of the women in your life aren't serving a purpose for you, you may have to get rid of them. Drop them. They're just distracting you from your goal.
You see, if you're already getting most of your needs met, including s*exually, then what motivation do you have to get out there and resume the hunt?
Ask yourself: What's your next challenge?
It never really is about the women.
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Now, the other problem is that if you were ONLY going to the gym and working out to attract women, you were making THEM the goal, when you needed to make the goal to IMPROVE YOURSELF instead.
Put yourself back in the center of the picture. Not Miss Right Now.
When you're working on that, you're on the path towards your goals and expanding yourself.
Motivation is something you have to find and use to your advantage. Usually it falls into the pain/pleasure area (which is also covered in detail in the Alpha Man program.)
You have to know what is most desirable to you right now, and use that to push you in the right direction.
I have been in this situation before, too, and ultimately it really meant that I was just complacent in my current level of success.
I had to shoot for a new goal.
So instead of just meeting and having one girlfriend, I wanted to have many. I remember the weekend where I had 6 dates in two days. THAT was a rush. I was happy only when I was in pursuit of something that made me grow and improve.
So raise the bar and decide what the next challenge is for you. And remember the pain of what it was like before you got to this level of success. If you forget, you'll continue on this path until it's a reality again.
And you don't really want that, do you?
Now, you know that you can get the inside tactics and tips on effective dating and pickup skills in my e-book, The Dating Black Book. If you don't have it, you need to GET IT NOW. Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
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When you're ready to take the next step and develop the inner and outer game necessary to win over any woman you want, you're probably a candidate for becoming an Alpha Man.
You see, most guys kiss up to a woman and work too hard to get a woman's attention (or "win her back"), not knowing that they need to get her ATTRACTION.
And you can't do it with a soft, nice guy attitude. You get "Nice" when you lose confidence in yourself.
Can you be firm and controlled?
Do you have what it takes to CHALLENGE women?
Or are you going to break down and treat her ... NICE.
How many times have you heard this:
"Nice Guys just don't get laid."
The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not. And now we are going to show you the reasons why, and help you get rid of the "Nice Guy" forever.
Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?
Well, the Secrets are here.
I've just completed a brand-new e-book and 6-CD audio program that you have been waiting for.
We've even got a new site at: http://www.alphaseduction.com
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CONTINUED...
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This book covers all aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to total self-confidence.
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
Again, you can order it here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
And don't forget my e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will also help you get all of that ... and then some.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Where do you go for the information you need?
THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprog.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Thanks...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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