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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 8:00 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Hello,
Just downloaded a copy of your book and have been reading it over and over to really absorb all the details...
I have been dating this girl for the past two years and we have even discussed marriage. (We both are divorced single parents) I know that you hear all the time from guys about how their girl is "the best, hottest, sexiest, most beautiful women in the world", well my girlfriend is all that and even more!
Long story short, I have lied to her on three occasions in the past, we recently broke up this summer, but we have still spent almost every weekend together and have been intimate almost all the time. (She says by the way that I am the best lover she has ever had and also that I am her best friend) She has started to date other guys, but no one special...yet. We do spend alot of time together and she says she really enjoys it.
Now I know about using some of your techniques to try and get her to change her mind about us getting back together ( I haven't dated yet, however I have been dropping hints to her about a new girl that I am going to go out with soon.....she gets very upset) Problem is that I feel guilty about going out with other women! I am trying to get back with her, but I feel like I am doing something wrong by going out with other women, even though you and other people advise going out with other women to get her jealousy factor working.
My two questions are this:
1. she is getting ready to go out with a guy who I think she has a strong initial attraction to, (Boyfriend material as her and her friends call it) How do I make sure that I am the guy she thinks of most and wants me more than him.
2.What path would you recommend I do to try and get her back. I truly do want to marry this woman and spend the rest of my life with her.
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CARLOS:
Okay, let's cut straight to the chase... (Hey, that's why you guys keep coming back for more, right?)
You're infatuated and enamored of this woman. It's obvious that your interest level in her is much higher than hers in you. I'll guess that the "we recently broke up" statement is really "SHE broke up with me." I'll bet she even quoted the usual fluff reasons, like:
- "I'm just not sure if we're right for each other anymore"
or
- "We've grown apart"
or
- "We're not going in the same direction"
Or about a billion other little reasons that always sound the same, leaving you with a sick, empty feeling in your stomach.
What do they all boil down to? Here's the translation from woman-speak:
"I'm not feeling the same attraction to you that I used to. There's nothing exciting or interesting between us."
You see, here's the reality:
If she's attracted enough to you, she'll never say "we're not compatible" or any of a thousand other cheesy excuses. In short, she'll stay with you for as long as you care to have her if you can keep her wanting more from you than you give her.
Your woman has no more challenge or mystery left in you, and to top it off, now you're acting needy. Oh, you don't have to tell me that, I can tell. (Re-read the section on Male Panic in THE DATING BLACK BOOK.)
Remember the saying: The one who loves least controls the relationship.
She's got her hooks in you.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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Here's what you do:
- Stop looking at her as the only woman you want to marry. I realize she may have a bunch of wonderful characteristics, but the reality is that she has a ton of faults you're not looking at because she's flipped the tables on you. You're in the role of the challenged one, and as a result, you're running around afraid of losing her.
- Start to seriously work on your current beliefs about why it is you're afraid to date other women. You see, you're afraid that she'll dump you because you're interested in other women.
What you do NOT do is just date other women to get her to want you more. You go out and date other women because you UNDERSTAND that the only way you can be a man worth wanting is to be WANTED by other women.
Do you see the difference in the attitude there?
On one side, you're still so caught up in her that you are motivated out of fear of loss. On the other side, you are motivated by the pleasure of gain. They are COMPLETELY different motivators, and they make the difference between scared/needy guy and self-confident man.
Guess which one will pull her back to you?
Stop worrying about making her angry or jealous ... this is what you want her to feel! If she's not feeling upset over you, you'd be in even more trouble. Apathy would mean that you have NO hope, because there'd be NO feeling.
You must fight familiarity.
Show her parts of you that she's never seen. Do it from a standpoint of true self-confidence. When you use the strategies you've read about from a standpoint of NEEDINESS, they will not have the same affect - and you'll probably hurt yourself even more.
Cultivate independence from her and you'll stand a chance.
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You mention the lies you've told her, but not about what. Whatever they were, if you confessed to her about them, you've lost not only attraction but TRUST and RESPECT. Once lost, these can almost never be regained to the level you once had them.
Honestly, if you really want to get this girl back where she once was, I'd say you'd have to dump her. Right now. Not in a nasty way, just make it clear that you feel you two need some space. Some distance.
Because if you keep going the way you're going - hovering around her, clinging on to your almost-relationship, being Mr. Nice Guy, not asserting yourself ...
SHE is going to dump YOU.
Mark my words.
Her new guy will seem more attractive by virtue of the fact that he's new, and you'll be calling her at midnight, drunk, crying in her ear. I can see the whole sad play right now. You're on page 8 of a very long, tragic story.
Your only hope is to push HER away for now and regain your independence. That way she can regain some of her respect and attraction for you. (Remember the Three S's!)
Remember that this new guy doesn't have what you have: Strategies and understanding. Chances are that he'll make the classic mistakes, coming on too strong and not giving her enough mystery.
Show her the man she started dating so long ago, and I guarantee that you'll see some of her attraction come back. Your ability to show some self-discipline and restraint will make the difference here.
Just do what you were doing before you started taking your relationship for granted. That's the cure for about 90% of the problems out there in couples today.
The last point I have to make is this: You cannot MAKE her want to come back to you.
All you can do is demonstrate the qualities (benefits) that she wants in order to give her a reason to WANT to come back.
Think about it.
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It's been my experience that men need to learn the strategies to use to either attract the one they want, keep the one they have, or get the one they may have lost back.
TRUE STORY: I was in the grocery line at Safeway today, and I looked over the cover of the latest Cosmopolitan magazine. One of the articles was: "The Trick That Gets Any Man To Call!" (You can see it online at their site if you don't believe me.)
I read the article, and it was actually a pretty competent description of how to influence a guy to want to call you back. When was the last time you got advice from someone on how to help you get her number? Get her to accept a date? Get a kiss at the end?
Women get this advice ALL THE TIME. What do men get?
Squat. Diddly. Zero. Nada.
NOTHING.
How does a smart guy get the information to win at this game?
You see, most guys want just a few things out of life to make them happy: financial success, and sexual success.
The principles to both are strikingly similar, and they are SKILLS that ANY man can learn.
Imagine going to a party where you know NO ONE, but being totally confident and assured that you will meet as many of the women there as YOU desire, and that YOU have the power and influential ability to start their attraction for you.
Wouldn't that be fantastic?
Well, I'm here to tell you from my personal experience that it's completely real and attainable. I have not been intimidated by a woman for so many years now that I look back and laugh at that guy who used to shake and tremble just walking over to say hello.
Getting laid is not about luck.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front.
When you have that knowledge and understanding, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.
When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS. My e-book will help you get all of that and then some.
Guess what? THE DATING BLACK BOOK is ready for download right now, no matter where you are in the world.
/ebookstore.htm
Download the book, read it, review the strategies, and put it to work for you right away. If you don't feel that it's the incredible, insightful, and invaluable tool I've made it out to be, you can simply ask for a refund.
Guys, I'm in this field to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - COMPLETE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.
Is there anything more important?
You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you last past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.
If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then this book will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years. You get to peek behind the scenes and learn how things really work.
I remember when this realization hit me, and how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it. And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now at: /ebookstore.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
If there is, you should let me know... because your priorities may be a little jacked.
Go to the site now and download a copy of THE DATING BLACK BOOK right now, and learn what most men will never understand:
https://www.datingdynamics.com
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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