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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 7:00 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
I am 30 yrs old and just out of a divorce. It is time to move on and find a woman i can share my heart with. My problem is i have NO self confidence and i am extremely shy in social situations. I cant just walk up to a woman and "buy her a drink" and just start talking.
A few weeks ago I was sitting next to a this woman on a plane and we had a great conversation the entire flight. Well, like an idiot I didn't even attempt to get her number, but I did find out her name and where she works. My question is, in trying to get in touch with this woman, would it be better to stop by her place of employment or give her a quick phone call to see about getting together for drinks?
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
First of all, I need to point out a new way of looking at asking women for their numbers or contact information. Now, after not asking her and wishing you had, you understand how important it is to get the number when you're talking to her. You got lucky that you had enough information to find her later.
What typically happens is that you'd be kicking yourself for weeks over not getting her number. And that is far more painful than any possible rejection you might have been imagining when you talked yourself out of asking for it in the first place.
Don't forget that pain of regret, because that's your fuel - your energy - to change old habits into new. NEXT time you'll get that number if you remember the pain of missing the opportunity the first time. Think of it as a mental kick in the butt.
As for your Airplane Babe, well you can go after her, but you have to be very cautious. It's creepy for a guy to track down a woman like this, because it appears a bit "stalker-ish."
That is, unless he communicates his confidence with his persistence. If you do that, then she'll be impressed and attracted.
Don't "stop by." Far too weird. Instead, give her a quick call and just say:
"Hey, I remembered you from the plane trip, and I thought you might be cool to hang out with. I'm going to Delaney's Pub on Thursday. Join me there. We'll get a drink and talk some more, that is, if you've got any good conversation left in you." (Note the slight tease at the end.)
You see, this communicates to her that you're not desperate (and this is SO important). You're not asking her, you're TELLING her, which communicates confidence. And you're already going to this pub, so she's just joining you in your already exciting life.
That's attractive to a woman, and it communicates all the right things about you. You've got your life together, and you're looking to add to it.
Now, you also mentioned your shyness, and isn't it ironic how so many shy guys feel lonely, and yet there's so MANY of them out there?
It doesn't have to be this way. You can and will get out there and be a stud again. Just don't hurry the process. You're recently divorced, so you don't need to be in any hurry to jump into another relationship. Being 30 and single is no big deal these days, so don't worry about the clock ticking on you.
What will pressure you most is that you don't feel like you have the SKILLS to attract women, so you will want to "lock something down" really fast when it comes along.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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This is the scarcity mentality that you must avoid at all costs.
I already see some danger signs in what you said about finding a woman to "share your heart with." That's needy-speak, and it indicates that you're in shock of being thrown back to being alone.
Just get out there, get experience, and get comfortable being ALONE first. Then you can convey the right attitude that will attract women later on. If you don't lean back and get relaxed with your lifestyle, you'll communicate a nervous desperation that will undermine all your future attempts.
Your confidence has been shaken by the end of your marriage, but you can't let that hurry you into something that will hurt you later on. Use this time to get your life into ship-shape.
Get exercising, if you haven't already. Get a few new hobbies. Create a life that a woman will want to participate in.
And you'll find that your shyness will fade as soon as you discover that you've got nothing to fear out there. When you know you'll be fine alone is when you'll find (and keep) another.
You see, most guys kiss up to a woman and work too hard to get her attention, not knowing that they need to get her ATTRACTION.
And you can't do it with a soft, nice guy attitude. You get "Nice" when you lose confidence in yourself.
Can you be firm and controlled?
Do you have what it takes to CHALLENGE women?
Or are you going to break down and treat her ... NICE.
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How many times have you heard this:
"Nice Guys just don't get laid."
The Nice Guy SEEMS like what women want, but he's not. And now we are going to show you the reasons why, and help you get rid of the "Nice Guy" forever.
Are you ready to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence?
Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start being a real Alpha Man?
Well, the Secrets are here.
I've just completed a brand-new e-book and 6-CD audio program that you have been waiting for.
We've even got a new site at: http://www.alphaseduction.com
This book covers all aspects of overcoming your shyness, fears, and insecurities with women (and with life) and gets you on the path to total self-confidence.
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Here's just a small sample of what you're going to learn in this program:
- How impatience is your #1 killer of seductions and opportunity in your life
- The number one factor that determines your success in life, and with women
- How to drive up your social value
- What you're communicating that you don't even realize - and how it's scaring off women
- How to avoid obsession - the dysfunctional thinking that sabotages you and drives off women
- How to use your voice to interest a woman - including exercises to develop your speech power
- What an Alpha Man's lifestyle is, and how to live like you want to
- Male emotional strength - why women need your strength and coping skills
- How to socialize and network to increase your social circle
- How to re-write your mental scripts to get rid of fear and hesitance
- How to use emotional intelligence to unlock your hidden power with women
- How to use organic problem solving to increase your ability to solve problems "on-the-fly" in any situation
Listen to what guys are saying about the program:
"Dear Carlos, your program is a "killer" ...It helped me to get rid of many traits of the so called "nice guy" - shyness, indecisiveness, "ass-kissing", etc... It boosted significantly my love and sex life. Not only [this] ... It helped me to be more successful in doing business, I can now easily spot when somebody wants to "walk over me" and try to make me submissive as usually women do. Thanks a lot! My best wishes to you!"
S.D. Sofia, Bulgaria
"Carlos Xuma is the leading authority on dating and seduction today. I have been his loyal customer for over a year and a half now, and you better believe there is a reason that I spend my hard earned money on his products. His latest project, 'Secrets of the Alpha Man,' is just one more example of the thought he puts into his work, and it is so obvious that he cares about helping the budding player in his Alpha development."
"The information Xuma provides is absolutely the best, most thorough, most current and accurate out there, and whenever you have a question along the way, he has a prompt answer."
"This is the real deal, the quality of [Carlos'] products is always top notch, and this is priceless in learning to take control and get what you want in your love life."
"Get the products, study them daily, and apply what you are learning at every opportunity, and your confidence and self esteem will grow. Your ability with women will grow by leaps and bounds... This is quality stuff. It's your foundation to the Kingdom of Women." -Del S.
This new e-book and audio will guide you through exercises, tips, and strategies for changing your life RIGHT NOW. It's not just about getting more women (even though that's a really great side-effect of this program), but we show you the way to a more successful LIFE - business, family, social, financial... everything!
I've even thrown in a few extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with this offer, too. I've spent the last year creating this great program, including the best of our Advanced Audio Coaching Sessions, all new tracks specifically aimed at this topic, and hundreds of pages of new advice on how to get your game together with women.
You can see the complete list of contents here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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If you order today, I'll send you the 393 page e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started.
I'm accepting pre-orders now for this program, which will likely be shipped by the end of this month - 9/30 (September 30th.)
You need to get your order in now, because the first printing is limited and will likely sell out quickly. This price is also subject to increase depending on the demand for the first run. Order now and you'll be assured your copy.
Again, you can order it here at:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
And don't forget my e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will also help you get all of that ... and then some.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Where do you go for the information you need?
THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprog.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Thanks...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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