The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Thursday, 7:30 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

QUESTION:

I have this problem, ever since I've gotten to college (few weeks ago) I've been seeing so many gorgeous girls and some have taken notice of me too. But one problem keeps coming up, they're older than me.

I myself am 18 years old but dress with style and like older guys and easily pass 23. So most girls assume I'm in my early twenties.

Now here's the dilemma, there's this gorgeous girl in my Spanish class and she's been showing many signs that she's interested in me.

(Laugh at my jokes, always try to grab my attention, get me to follow her after class, and at times show up late for her own class for the simple purpose of talking to me)

However, she's almost 22, almost 4 years older, and I don't know what to do. Should I lie about my age? Should I move on?

Problem is, almost every girls I'm flirting with is at least 2.5 yrs older.

CARLOS:

This is a good question, and it's come up in different ways before.

Really, the question you're asking is: How can you tell (or NOT tell) a woman something that you think will change her perception of you?

After all, isn't this what you're really saying:

"I'm intimidated by the thought of being 'too young' for her, and I need her approval of my age to measure up in her eyes."

Maybe that's a bit strong (or maybe not strong enough), but you get the point. You're really making a pre-judgment (prejudice?) in your mind about what she will think of your age. Why are you imagining a situation that hasn't occurred yet?

How do you know that this gal doesn't already know your age?

What experience is telling you that she will not want to date you?

You've made an assumption.

And you know what happens when you make an assumption?

You make an ass out of you ... and umption.

Uh. Well, you know what I mean.

CONTINUED...

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If you assume right off the bat that your age is a problem, guess what?

It IS a problem. You make the thing you fear a reality.

Now, I'm going to flip things around and mess with your head a little:

It is probably true that most women PREFER older men.

(Meaning that, if they had two guys presented to them that were roughly equal in looks and other traits, a gal would probably instinctually be more attracted to the older one.)

Why is this?

I believe it's because of several reasons.

First: A man takes longer to emotionally mature than a woman does. While we're out there giving each other wedgies and lighting farts, they are refining their understanding of men and relationships to a level that we can't even imagine. (Mind you, this doesn't mean they're any BETTER at relationships than we are, just that they have more active knowledge. Where men lack understanding and some maturity, women often lack emotional control.)

Second: A man tends to be much better capable of providing for a woman after he's aged. I'm sure that back in the caveman days, a woman who was biologically capable of bearing children looked for a man that was experienced enough to bring down a good mammoth or two. Youth has its enticements, but maturity has its rewards.

Third: In terms of role models, most women develop their picture of an ideal mate from their father. I've personally noticed that women who had a good strong male role model as a father tend to make better girlfriends. I won't try to delve into the deep Freudian explanation, but I'm sure it has something to do with a valid gender role model. And the women I've met that have had poor father figures end up searching for them their whole life, and trash a lot of guys in the process because of their demanding needs, not knowing what they're looking for.

But enough generalization.

So we've broken the horrible news that women prefer older men.

Is this so horrible? No.

You ready for the good news?

REMEMBER: As long as you ACT older, you ARE older.

Do you get this? Let me be blunt: REALITY is just a concept. It's what you make of it. (Yeah, I know I'm starting to sound like Morpheus in 'The Matrix' movies, but hear me out.) If you start a woman's attraction mechanism based on behavior that she normally experiences with an older man, then you BECOME an older man.

What a woman defines as reality comes to her through her six senses.

Yes, you read that right. SIX senses. The traditional five senses (hearing, taste, touch, smell, sight) and her most important sense - her SIXTH sense - 'her intuition.' Her EMOTIONAL sense, if you will. Her 'gut-feel.'

You see, it's not just your clothes that make the women think you're in your early twenties. Your appearance projects some of your maturity, and your attitude conveys the rest. (Your behavior can also totally undermine this, too, which is why you MUST always work on your posture.) Your behavior defines who you are to her at a very deep level.

When you ACT like an older man, she will respond to you as if you were an older man. Then it becomes her REALITY.

THAT'S ALL. If you do the right things and turn her attraction on to you, and she somehow finds out you're 18, you make it HER problem.

HER: "You're 18?"
YOU: "Is that a problem for you?"
HER: "Wellllll....."
YOU: "Because I'm not sure I want to be seen with an older woman. I might get a reputation."

- or -

HER: "I don't date guys that young."

YOU: "FIRST of all, you're moving pretty fast here. I never said I was going to date you. Second of all, it's not a question of whether I'm old enough for you ... I don't know if you're old enough for ME." (Spoken with a cool, in-control voice. Not whiney or pissy.)

You see?

Your attitude right now says: I'm 18 - and that's a problem.

Your attitude needs to be: I'm 18 - and that means you are the luckiest damn woman on the planet, honey.

(Take it from me - there will come a day when being 18 is the problem you'll WISH you had with women.)

I don't personally condone lying to a woman, but you can avoid the truth for a while. If she asks you how old you are, bust her chops and avoid her question WITHOUT looking like you're avoiding her question. Get it?

And if she's plays hardball and keeps asking, get her to guess. If she guesses high, you tell her "VERY good! Now let me guess your age. Uhmmm... 47? Wait, give me a hint ... are you old enough to know what hippies are?"

Here's something that will leave her head spinning: "You're so curious about my age," you say, shaking your head with a visible look of disappointment. "I'm trying to find a woman who isn't so caught up in numbers and being so structured. I thought you were more spontaneous than that. Aren't you?" And then get her to justify why she's spontaneous. (Note: Every woman wants to think that she's spontaneous.)

Distract her from the question and put HER on the defense. And if you get cornered and have to tell her, make the biggest deal out of how lucky SHE is to have you. If you act like your age is going to ruin her approval rating of you, you're ship is sunk.

While you're at it, if you'd like to learn what it is that women are looking for in their personal male sexual role models, than you don't need to look any further.

You see, most guys want just a few things out of life to make them happy: financial success, and sexual success.

The principles to these are strikingly similar, and both are SKILLS that ANY man can learn.

Let me tell you this: Success with women has NOTHING TO DO WITH LUCK!

Every time a guy friend of yours says, "Hey, I got lucky last night!" when he gets laid, I want you to reach out and SLAP him. Not just because you're jealous that he got a piece, but because you know that the worst thing you can reinforce in your subconscious is that success with women is purely LUCK.

Getting laid has nothing in common with getting 21 in a blackjack game, or getting 7 on a roll of the dice.

Imagine going to a party where you know NO ONE, but being totally confident and assured that you will meet as many of the women there as YOU desire, and that YOU have the power and influential ability to start their attraction for you.

Wouldn't that be fantastic?

Well, I'm here to tell you from my personal experience that it's completely real and attainable. I have not been intimidated by a woman for so many years now that I look back and laugh at that guy who used to shake and tremble just walking over to say hello.

CONTINUED...

______________________

Then, when I learned what was going on, and what a woman is thinking, I realized that I now had the upper hand.

Getting laid is not about luck.

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front.

When you have that knowledge and understanding, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.

When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.

This is the way the world of sexual success and financial success come together on the same principles.

Now, the roadmap to better results begins with educating yourself, and not letting your foolish male pride keep you from learning the secrets and information you've always wanted and needed to know.

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Guys, I'm in this field to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - COMPLETE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there anything more important?

You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you last past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then this book will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years. You get to peek behind the scenes and learn how things really work.

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It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

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