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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Monday, 7:00 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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Some shameless praise:
"Wow, i wish to praise the writer of the black book ... as a living god. I merely read the ... excerpts from his book last night and I was half skeptical and half amazed by his theories ... it was like magic..." - R.W.
"... I really enjoyed your book. It is very complete and seems to cover everything... The tip on coffee date's will save me a fortune. The section on kinesthetics was great. Thanks for helping to change my mindset. From now on, I will do the choosing..." - Nick
"I've read a lot of different material but found your material to be truly inspirational. Your material is very informative and I really enjoy how you add psychology to the mix. Keep up the good work!" - T.O.
QUESTION:
I got some quick questions for you...
Ok, first of all im having some trouble with getting women to open up to me. Every so often when I talk to a women (even when I'm sure she is into me) she seems sort of tense, or uneasy about me talking to her. Im pretty sure I'm not coming on too strong but for some reason I feel that I have to try extra hard to keep the conversation going even though I try to keep it mostly about her.
Any reason why this may be?
Next up.
I'm stripped of dating ideas. I'd like to keep my dates fun and intresting so the girl sees a date with me as an adventure... not another boring night out.
The onlythings I can think of is bowling, movies, and shooting pool. These all spell out LAME to me and I know I can find something more intresting. Im 20 so im too young to go to clubs and bars and such... besides, I think they are boring anyway.
Any good dating ideas you could share with me?
Also.
I have this friend of mine who is a total complete WUSS. Honestly, this guy is my friend and all but his is the biggest [chump] i've ever seen in my life. He is a hopelss romantic which reaks the sent of needy. He can't hold a chick for more then a week for the life of him but he can still get attention from lots and lots of beautifull women!
I was reading his online journal and he was making one of his emo statements on how he feels lonely in a crowd of people and how he is so sad that people make fun of him because he is different. That entry got 24 posts from great looking girls saying that they miss him and they love him and would like to date him sometime.
What could women see in a guy like this?
Its mind blowing how women open up to him even tho he is the complete opposite of the alpha male. I honestly think the anwser to my first question is in something he does. I've tried the cocky/funny thing and it really does work once i've got the women to open up to me.
I guess my real problem im asking about is I need to learn how to get a women to open up to me more.... any tips?
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CARLOS:
Hmmm... okay, that's a lot of advice... that's going to cost you...
Only in effort, as I say...
Okay, first....
When you're talking to them, are you asking them questions and building RAPPORT?
Rapport is that mystical element that you can't have too much of when you're working with her attraction. If she gets a vibe that you're more interested in what's in it for YOU than what's in it for HER, than you're not going to be successful.
Remember that rapport is your NUMBER ONE goal when interacting with a woman.
Too many guys think they can go just zone in on their own goals and not attend to HERS.
She will not give you what YOU want until she gets what SHE wants.
I know, this sounds strange, but work with me here.
You said: "I have to try extra hard to keep the conversation going..."
That right there is the problem.
If you're trying hard, SHE CAN TELL. And that doesn't show confidence to her.
You should stop trying so hard and just talk about yourself AND her. I tell you guys to keep a good portion of the conversation focused on HER, but you have to do it in a way that doesn't seem creepy or weird. That means revealing a little about yourself as well.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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If YOU feel like it's trying extra hard, just remember that she can sense it. Woman can sense this stuff coming a mile away.
Remember, that a woman's primary question in her head is:
"What does he WANT?"
You should start with some small talk, a tease or some cocky/funny, but don't rely on that totally. All those other sites that tell you that being cocky and funny is ALL you need to do are way off the mark. You need more than that.
You need to come across with an attitude that says, "Yeah, I'm talking to you, but it's because there's a certain amount of curiosity I have for you. You might be okay. You might not. I need to know more."
ATTITUDE!!!
Attitude, attitude, attitude.
As for dating ideas, find some interesting locations in your area. Do a little Internet research. See what's around you. Find some interesting locations. Trails for biking/hiking. Cool stores. Buy a bunch of games and tell her you're going to teach her how to play Mancala. Or you're going to be the dealer in a few rounds of blackjack. (Buy some chips and cards. Gambling excites her nervous system.)
There's plenty to do if you take the time to THINK up some activities.
Now your friend there...
Hooo -weeee!
Give him my newsletter and the address to the site, QUICK. He's going to be in deep trouble soon.
Actually, he already is in pretty deep trouble.
On the surface it may SEEM like he's being successful, but he's NOT. It's an illusion.
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Let me explain:
1) He's probably good looking. Beautiful women are NOT attracted to supplicating emotional wimps like this unless there's some raw attraction at work. He probably has a good picture up, too. Good looking guys can often get away with these corn-ball emotional plays because they seem like they're "different." Unfortunately, he's got this emotional bait he uses, and it reinforces his belief that he's being successful because he's getting these responses.
2) As you noted, he can't keep one of these women for more than a week. And it's because he's such a chump. Therefore, any results he gets in interest from women is immediately negated by his inability to GET ANYWHERE. Don't mistake his activity as "success." It's PITY.
3) I'd want to see proof that these 24 posts were all from beautiful women. I hope you're not just taking his word on it. I would tend to believe that he's really getting interest from all the DESPERATE and PSYCHO chicks out there looking to find a man QUICK because they're turning 32, or because he hit a nerve with their misfit nature. (Or from a bunch of frustrated stay-at-home freaky men who are testing out their new cross-dressing pictures.)
4) There's a big difference from getting 24 pity postings from women who see him as a puppy with a broken leg. If he gets a date with any of them, THEN we can talk. Until then, it's all fantasy.
5) This poor guy is unlikely to change his behavior unless he changes his fundamental beliefs. Man is the crazy kind of animal that decides that when something isn't working, he can just TRY HARDER. And that's the dumbest approach. And he also thinks that if he puts his bleeding heart on a web page blog, he can just show all those women out there what a great catch he is by being a cry-baby.
Once again, healthy women are NOT attracted to this kind of behavior, and even the UNhealthy ones know better. That's why he's only got postings and no real action.
He's not a role model, dude. Trust me.
HOWEVER, you can take a few lessons in demonstrating vulnerability to women from his method. You have to mix a little of that in your game so that women don't think you're just being a player.
You do have to show a little of your personality so that they can believe you're really you, not just a cocky bastard.
I think that mix is what you need to have to improve your success ratio.
After all, dating and seduction really is so complicated and illogical. How do you know when a woman is reacting to who she is, or who you are? What do you have to do to get that rapport you need?
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And what are the best traits to demonstrate to a woman so that she becomes interested in you?
You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior (AKA, BETA) guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
You can download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
There are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.
Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?
How do you introduce yourself to her without coming across like a dork?
How do you take her out without spending a fortune and getting just a kiss on the cheek and a "let's just be friends!"
You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."
Luck is not a factor.
It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.
BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.
I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.
You need this knowledge and understanding.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.
When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.
My e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will help you get all of that ... and then some.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Where do you go for the information you need?
THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
And the Advanced Audio Coaching is also ready to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprog.htm
You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you make it past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.
I remember when I figured out what these mistakes were - and how to fix them. And how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it.
And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now at:
/ebookstore.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
-Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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