The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Monday, 1:00 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

QUESTION:

Greetings from Mexico

Hello Carlos:

I just got a girl's email address using your tease to please approach from the Dating Black Book, Congratulations excellent material!!!!!!

I met this gorgeous gal at the club, we were in a small talk, we were dancing and thats all. I got her email and she says first this way leter I could get the telephone number, I thought, its good for me, so I took the napkin with the email address and I leave the club.

I email her something casual 3 days after the night we were at the club just as you explain in the book and in the DD Newsletters, after that I have not received a reply email from her.

My question: What should I do?

I need to send other email? and if so how long I must wait for that? and what would contain the email? what is the best thing to do?

Please give me you advise.

Best regards,

OZ- Mexico

CARLOS:

Yes, this knowledge is most excellent, isn't it?

Isn't it nice to find out that YOU have power in your interactions with women?

Isn't it cool to discover that you can get a woman's email or number easily if you know what to say?

And great job using the information in the book! I keep saying that if you just USE the strategies, you will get success. No one has proven me wrong on that one yet.

Now, let's review what you need to do when you get a woman's number...

First...

Forget you got it.

Yeah, that's right. You heard me.

Forget about it.

You see, what happens most of the time is that you're obsessing about this number because it's so unique and special to you. I am guessing that you normally don't get many of them (at least until you learned the right attitudes and strategies from my e-books). There's nothing wrong with that. You just have to remember that you're on a path of growth and development.

The best thing you can do after getting a woman's number is go right out and get a few more before you call that one. You need to feel like you've got OPTIONS when you call her, or you'll obsess about her and mess it up.

It's SO easy to fall into the trap of over-thinking and over-working every number you get, primarily because you treat them all as if they are gold nuggets.

They're actually coal that you have yet to crack open and see what's inside.

Again, the best thing to do is get a bunch more numbers (get them WITH the email addresses) and then your gut will tell you exactly how to handle that woman.

"... I really enjoyed your book. It is very complete and seems to cover everything... The tip on coffee date's will save me a fortune. The section on kinesthetics was great. Thanks for helping to change my mindset. From now on, I will do the choosing..." - Nick

CONTINUED...

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QUESTION:

Hey Carlos,

What is your take on using the cocky & funny approach when trying to get an email or a girls number? Is it really a necessity? I have recently read that when interacting with a new girl for a few minutes that it is better to be more direct and act very normal and natural. What is your take on this? Thanks Carlos.

When you first meet a woman, you definitely should turn down the cocky routine. I see a lot of guys over-use this principle and realize they're just acting like dweebs.

The best approach is SIMPLE, and presented very confidently. I preach that you need to have an "angle" with only the most beautiful women out there.

Why?

CARLOS:

Because hot women get approached by guys ALL THE TIME and their bitch shield is usually up. You need a way around that, and using a "Tease to please" approach will help you get past it. (And figure out if that is a shield, or she really is a bitch.) TEASING isn't exactly the same thing as being "cocky," so you can use it when going for the introduction.

The best approach is a DIRECT approach, but I still recommend you have a note of humor in whatever approach you use. (As long as it's not at your own expense.)

If you're with her for a period of time, THEN you start to dial up that cocky approach a few notches.

Remember that a woman is usually really nervous in the first 10 minutes of an interaction, so you need to be confident enough for two. That's much more important than just "being cocky" all the time. That advice gets over-used quite a bit.

Get my books for the strategies to REALLY communicate your power and sexuality.

/ebookstore.htm

QUESTION:

Hey Carlos, you put out a great website and i want to say that it definitely has improved my success with girls and also helped me to get over past bad experiences where girls have treated me like something they found under their shoe.

I was seeing one girl on and off for about two years but there was always little problems and stupid things stopping it from taking off. I was acting like a needy wuss and a nice guy, I thought if i could be nice enough she would just eventually see things my way and realize how much I am worth her love.

But she didnt, she was really inexperienced with dating too which is one of the main reasons i think i liked her, but she decided to see a much older, married guy with a kid rather then me, one that she knows cheats and has even cheated on her. Im 19 and she just turned 18.

She obviously has no clue when it comes to choosing guys and doesnt use logic in the slightest when coming to her decisions. (***)

So anyways i started meeting new girls, a few of them on the internet. The first one i used your technique on and so far has worked really well, though i have been making a few mistakes it is going much much better then any girl before.

We have a lot of chemistry together and she told me she's going to rape me, and we have all kinds of completely blatent se*x talk. It's strange teasing her just seems so natural and I didnt even realize i was doing it at first and she obviously enjoys it.

Somehow in a conversation i got the chance to tease her about being a lesbian and she pretended to be all hurt and offended so I called her a homophobe. She told me "I hate you! :)" with a little smiley face, i dunno it just seems so funny to me that women are so attracted to that kind of talking. Im going to be meeting her next week but im not to sure how far i should be trying to take it, should i hold back on the se*x to try and raise the se*xual tension?

There is also another girl who i started talking to shortly after, we have a lot in common but from the begininig it never really seemed like she was to interested in me, and to be honest i always thought we would end up as just friends which would be pretty fine with me, things just never seemed to "click."

I ended up telling her the whole horrible story about the girl I'd been seeing and how she had treated me so badly and how that I felt really cynical and bitter towards love. How girls dont like nice guys and all these things that really shouldnt of made me sound very attractive. But an interesting thing happened, she told me that she likes nice guys, at first i just kind of shrugged it off like she was just giving me pity that i really dont want.

But later on in the conversation after we had talked about attraction for men and women she said "I really do like nice guys, so maybe their are a few weird girls out there that do." I told her "not enough" and quickly ended the conversation and got off the computer.

The next day she told me that she wanted to meet me and I plan on seeing her next week too as they live relatively close to each other.. and just yesterday she sent me some half nude photos of herself.. which is needless to say really nice, but a little puzzling since she never really seemed to be interested at all.

I guess I was pretty aloof with her the whole time Ive known her, I didnt really kiss her ass at all it was more just like friendly conversation. Now i dont know if she is just pitying me, that she just believes that she likes nice guys but really doesnt.. she's had a lot of bad experiences with guys too she says and she is a pretty big loner..

Im not sure how i should be around her now, should i just keep trying to be nice or what? Im still pretty untrusting of women and cynical and i dont think i really want to be in a relationship with either of those girls, they both have pretty questionable pasts and have been attracted to guys who are really wrong for them. What do you think would be the best way to go about seducing them?

Thanks, from PD

CARLOS:

Never listen to what a woman says she wants or is attracted to. She'll only tell you what LOGIC says she OUGHT TO.

See above where I noted an especially important phrase with ***

Women are not logical creatures. (and neither are MEN!) Women are emotional beings that back up their decisions with "logic."

Instead, do what WORKS. Do what gets you RESULTS.

LOGIC is what men EXPECT women to use, but they RARELY ever do.

Let me ask you one quick question...

If what you're doing is working (using my techniques) then why would you want to STOP doing them?

Dating and seduction are NOT logical. They appeal to the side of women that is ILLOGICAL or IRRATIONAL. That's why that one girl acted that way toward you when you joked with her about being a lesbian.

That's why when you act aloof and distant, that girl is interested. She needs a CHALLENGE from you. You're not like the other 34 guys who kissed her ass last week just to hang out in her shadow. You give her the SPACE she needs to feel a sense of safety in being attracted to you.

NEWS FLASH: Women don't like cramped spaces.

But give her a WIDE open space, and she'll be looking for somewhere "cozy" to hide out.

When you meet up with her, you just keep doing what you've been doing, and then when she attacks you and pins you down and runs her tongue all over your body, you'll just write me and thank me.

Don't hold back when you're within sight of the finish line. When she's begging you for a little lovemaking is NOT the time to be playing hard to get. (And if you have the e-books, you know how to use the two steps forward and one back to keep that tension up so that you get there.)

By the way, this gal that's 18 and dating the older married guy is just looking for a father figure. You can see this a mile away. You might want to demonstrate some behaviors that would appeal to a girl that's going through that phase. But she's also a loner, which means she has some socialization issues you might want to watch for first.

Don't get caught up in unburdening your soul to a woman, especially one you're interested in. Women find it a MAJOR turn-off to have a man drop off all his emotional baggage on her. She's secretly thinking: "Wow, I could never count on THIS guy to back me up when I'M down..."

And get over your "horror" stories. They only serve to make you bitter and drag you down, keeping you from feeling a healthy attraction and confidence with women. Let go of this bitterness and cynical outlook. That's SO not an Alpha Man.

As for these girls you're talking to...

TEASE them, get them to where they seem almost mad at you, and then make a move. You've got nothing to lose at this point, since you say you don't want a relationship with them, so why not get them IN or OUT of the game?

Your life only passes by faster from here on out, m'boy, so don't waste time on the ones that don't come around.

However, let me suggest you resolve these past "issues" of your own regarding women. Your cynicism and distrust are not healthy, and NOT something a woman is going to find attractive (except the most dysfunctional and damaged of them.)

There's a difference between "aloof" and harboring some anger at women. You need to root it out and get rid of it now, before you hurt yourself and other women. Seducing a woman is for BOTH of you, not to achieve some kind of revenge for where you've been wronged.

Seduction isn't about manipulation and trickery.

Seduction isn't necessarily the answer to your problems, either.

RELAXING and FORGIVING probably is.

Let the world be your playground. Have some fun.

I hate to get all New-Age spiritual on you there, but it's true. You gotta avoid taking this stuff so seriously.

You seduce this woman because it's GOOD for both of you to experience something that lifts you both up and makes you both better in the long run. SHARE the love, dude...

Oh, and if a woman sends you a half-naked picture, that's a pretty big CLUE she's at least a little interested. (Which half was naked, by the way? Send them to me so I can review them and give you my expert opinion...)

Dating and seduction really is so complicated and illogical. How do you know when a woman is reacting to who she is, or who you are?

And what are the best traits to demonstrate to a woman so that she becomes interested in you?

You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.

My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
You can download it here:
/ebookstore.htm

CONTINUED...

______________________

There are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.

Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?
How do you introduce yourself to her without coming across like a dork?
How do you take her out without spending a fortune and getting just a kiss on the cheek and a "let's just be friends!"

You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."
Luck is not a factor.

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.

BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.

I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.

You need this knowledge and understanding.

When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.

When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.

My e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will help you get all of that ... and then some.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

Where do you go for the information you need?

THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.

Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm

And the Advanced Audio Coaching is also ready to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.

You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!

The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprog.htm

You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you make it past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.

I remember when I figured out what these mistakes were - and how to fix them. And how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it.

And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now at:
/ebookstore.htm

Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?

If there is, you should let me know... because your priorities may be a little whacked.

-Carlos

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

Click HERE to learn more...