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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Monday, 10:00 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Approaching woman in a gym
A gym, to me, is a place highly charged with sexual energy. Everybody is busy with their own bodies while checking out everybody else. Do woman feel self-conscious when in a gym and do they think that all the men are testosterone plugged perverts? Seeing as one gets to see so much of a woman's body in the gym, how could one approach the hot ladies without making them feel bad or be at a disadvantage having them think that you are some pervert?
I am well built and on good speaking terms with the aerobics class instructor (always singling me out), so it's not as if I'm NOT getting noticed, but whenever I walk by most girls (some of them regular attendees) they refuse to just look me in the eye to allow me the opportunity to greet them. I try to act as confident as possible, but is there a point when it becomes "too much" and they think you are just full of yourself?
J
South Africa
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CARLOS:
Testosterone Plugged Perverts.
T.P.P.
That's a new term by me.
Here's a little of what's going on ....
Yes, there is a lot of body self-consciousness at the gym. A lot of women are sensitive to the exposure. They're in outfits that pretty much tell you at a glance whether they're in good shape or not. That leaves them feeling very "exposed."
Not to mention the fact that the hot women in a gym are always being stared at and picked up on. A lot of the women are actually there for the exercise FIRST. While they're not ruling out meeting someone, they do want to get what they came there for - the workout.
Oh, and let's not forget that women HATE being seen when they are sweating. (Another reason to lean back on the teasing and cocky comments about them. They're also more vulnerable.)
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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So they're a little more sensitive to male attention at a gym than they might be at another location.
The answer to your dilemma is to approach her first with a very disarming and non-intrusive introduction.
Here are a couple:
1) Leave your towel or bottle of water behind at a station, or next to her stuff in the aerobics class. When a hot babe goes to use the station, you say hello and pardon yourself in to get water. And then move on so that it comes across as matter-of-fact. Then, later, you can approach her again and see how responsive she is.
2) Point something out about her that's wrong, like her shoe is untied, or her ask her if she's going to be long on that machine. Maybe even mention, "Hey, watch out for that seat. I think the pin is a little loose." Or just ask her for advice on the machine. "Hey, is that machine safe if you've had a knee injury?" Don't smile at her when asking these questions. That seems too "pick-up."
3) Use some cockiness with a little humor to bust her chops a little."
Once you've established an initial contact that doesn't come across as if you're a T.P.P. (or a Perv...), you're more open to try again.
The reality is that most guys in the gym are fairly obvious about their interest in the women there. You have to come in with a slightly less direct approach if you want to get past her "dork radar." That's why I suggest you don't do the "smile and follow" technique that a lot of the other dorks in the gym use.
The best approach you can use is really to hang back and spot one you might be interested in and catch her on the way out of the door, or on the way in. Start a casual conversation before you get into the gym environment.
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You can also work your aerobics class, but in a different way. (And please tell me you're not in leg-warmers, stepping to "Footloose.")
First, your instructor is giving you social proof, so that's great. Keep up that friendship because it will allow you to join in on discussions with other ladies later on.
Second, you're probably better off just starting with some very light interactions with the ladies. Just say "Hello" to them over the course of a couple classes. You can even take the edge off by waiting for a while, since you know most will be back ... eventually.
I just have to warn you to watch out for giving off the "player" vibe at the gym. You have to avoid staring at their perky little boobs and butts. Sometimes those outfits make it difficult, but you have to know when to exercise your self-control, too.
And as I stated above, keep the smiling down to a minimum. If overdone, smiling just gives off an approval seeking vibe. Don't be too serious, but be sure your body language and aura is confident and persuasive.
There are many environments you have to be prepared for in the dating world. Some are more agreeable to meeting women, and others you just have to know how to give off a more confident attitude.
You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you.
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
You can download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
There are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world.
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Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman?
How do you introduce yourself to her without coming across like a dork?
How do you take her out without spending a fortune and getting just a kiss on the cheek and a "let's just be friends!"
You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky."
Luck is not a factor.
It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.
BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.
I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure.
You need this knowledge and understanding.
When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors.
When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.
My e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will help you get all of that ... and then some.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Where do you go for the information you need?
THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
And the Advanced Audio Coaching is also ready to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile. Put it on your i-pod!
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprog.htm
You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you make it past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.
I remember when I figured out what these mistakes were - and how to fix them. And how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it.
And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now at:
/ebookstore.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
If there is, you should let me know... because your priorities may be a little whacked.
-Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
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"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
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- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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