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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 8:35 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Hi carlos,
I have a question, i have been going out with this girl for about 6 months until i found out via a very good friend of mine telling me that he saw her with some other guy holding hands etc.
Of course this pissed me off, but i kept my cool, and sent her a message saying " I think we should just be friends., She replied " i assumed we were friends" �My response was " cool, I'm glad we see eye to eye" and haven't spoken to her for a week now.
Do you think that I got the upper hand in the breakup? ( 4 days before this she said that she was disappointed she didn't see me on the weekend, and that she wanted to see me, so she couldn't have just assumed we were friends )
I believe she is going to be at my sisters wedding next week and she is going to bring her NEW boyfriend with her, What should i do?
Must i confront the boyfriend, or her or just ignore her totally, which would work best to piss her off ( i would just like to show her what a big mistake she has done )
I await your marvelous advice.
D
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
First of all, there is no such thing as "upper hand."
What do you expect would happen when you got this "upper hand"? There would be a choir of angels singing to you? She'd see the error of her ways and jump back into your arms? All your pain will instantly disappear?
Wanting to "defeat" her or prove something like this is actually more of a problem for you than you probably realize. It shows that you're reacting from pain and scarcity thinking.
'Upper hand' is all in your mind, my friend. One perception vs. another.
And why do you need to "piss her off"?
I'll tell you why you feel this need: You're still angry at her, and you want some kind of revenge for her hurting you.
Plain and simple.
And it's completely understandable.
What you cannot do is let this anger take over your world-view and think that you'll actually gain self-respect or Alpha Power from "proving" something to this girl. You'll just end up making yourself look pitiful in her eyes the harder you try to orchestrate your 'revenge.'
Anger leads to the dark side, dude. Didn't you watch the "Star Wars" movies?
What you should do is to LET GO of your anger right now. You're hurt and slighted, and what you do next will serve to either reinforce or destroy your healthy Alpha Man frame.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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Instead of working to make someone else feel a certain way (which is scarcity thinking - you should have lined up ten replacements by now), why not work to make yourself get over this anger and fear of your own inadequacy?
Yes, right now there's a battle going on in your mind. One side will be the victor. Only you can choose which side will win.
The Alpha side, which knows that you are going to move on to happier hunting grounds, and that this woman obviously wasn't honorable enough for you. Good riddance to bad news, I say.
Or the Beta ("dark") side that knows that it's just twisted anger and fear that makes us need to hurt someone because they've hurt us.
You choose.
And I also recommend you learn how to be the Alpha Man women want by getting my Secrets right now...
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
"Carlos � I dont usually write testimonials anywhere, but this is the time I HAVE TO make exception ...
"I have studied pick up and dating stuff almost 3 years soon ... I�ve spend lot of money to the subject and I know what is available in market ... and when I run through your DVDs I was really surprised how much I got from it. You really hit to the details and I love it!
"Your DVDs really give A LOT of practical and useful information and I got lot of missing pieces back to my game from this program... I can really proudly recommend because it�s gonna take your success further than any other single dating program on the market! ... Trust me."
J. from Scandinavia
Sept. 17, 2006
http://www.attractwomenprogram.com
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QUESTION:
Hey Carlos,
Everyone makes these techniques/attitude sound like magic and like a science that they always work and stuff.
Now my question is aren't there some girls where this stuff just wont work on?
I mean I have been in situations where I felt I executed pretty well and the girl just doesn't seem to be gaining the attraction or doesn't respond to it like the other girls that I've achieved success with creating attraction. I know that techniques aren't what really create the attraction and that its the underlying CONFIDENCE, but doesn't this idea apply to confidence also?
I mean aren't there some girls where even demonstrating your alpha confidence and being your confident self wont work?
CARLOS:
Yes, there are some girls that Alpha Confidence will not work on.
And my question is: Why would you want them?
Because my answer is: These are the women you must AVOID.
Like the plague!
I hear what you're saying. You really just want to know if there's a sure-fire technique that gets them ALL.
And it doesn't exist my friend.
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No matter what all the "Gurus" out there tell you, there is no sure-fire, knock-em-dead, 100% absolute technique or situation where you get them all.
There will be some nutty chick who thinks you look like her brother who once molested a goat.
There will be a woman who has made up some inflexible rule about dating guys with curly hair.
Or straight hair. Or something lame-ass like that.
There will always be someone who won't respond to GOOD, healthy Alpha Male behavior the way you want her to.
But the question is never "how do I get that one." It's how to AVOID her.
Because she's probably a little crazy.
Ask yourself why, in the name of all that is good in this world, would you want a woman that IS NOT attracted to a strong Alpha Man -� a man who is confident in himself, and going somewhere in life?
And then ask yourself why that might be...?
QUESTION:
Carlos, I need your HELP bad right now.
I am seeing several women right now, and I feel like I can't date just one exclusively. I have stated this to one of them and she has caught feelings and does not want to continue this if I am not going to be exclusive and stop sleeping with other women.
HOW does one get around this without being dishonest and becoming a cheater? I really like this girl, but I honestly don't feel like I can give up these other women.
I think you know what I am going through here and I'm sure you have mastered the game for how to handle this type of situation.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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CARLOS:
First of all, everyone shed a tear for this guy that has too many women.
(*Note: it really is true that 10% of the guys get about 90% of the quality women out there.)
Well, I hate to tell you this, but more often than not, a woman will want your EXCLUSIVE attention. Otherwise she feels like a "girl on the side" - or a slut - and will not want to participate.
Sometimes it comes down to re-framing the situation for her, but most times it is a matter of your own personal power and posture, as well as your congruity and beliefs.
What does all that dime-store psychology mean?
Simple.
You must first reconcile your values and your honor. Do you find it acceptable to be deceptive to these women? To not be truthful and feel dishonest?
Then your only path is to be straight and clear with them:
"Look, I really love spending time with you. I think you're fantastic, and I'd like to see where this will go. I just don't want to rush things. And I hope you don't either. I'm sure you've done that in the past and regretted it, like I did.� I'd just like us to keep our options open for now while we see what might happen. If it's meant to be, we'll be together. Now let's go have some fun."
And if she is still hung up on this, you may have to consider losing her.
What?
Is Carlos suggesting that monogamy is BAD???
What I'm saying is that any belief that is black-and-white is immediately suspicious to me.
Monogamy is GREAT - in the right situation. However, at the start of a relationship that you have not tested and experienced completely, it could cause much more harm than good.
Remember that most people get into a long term relationship out of FEAR.
They're afraid of being alone, and they are also afraid of being single. (Which somehow equates to the same thing.)
Just keep in mind that you are taking risks with anyone out there, so safe sexual practices are ALWAYS required.
Now how do you communicate the right personality so that women will understand they are lucky to have YOU?
Find out HERE:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
Back in a week or sooner...
- Carlos Xuma
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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