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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 5:55 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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DATING ADVICE QUESTION:
I know letting "loser boy" get the best of you is a sin, but when it does happen how can you overcome it?
CARLOS: There's one thing that's completely under your control and that's how you talk to yourself.
Not "Crazy homeless guy on the street" talk to yourself, but "inside your head" talk to yourself.
Loserboy is that voice in our head that tells us we can't do something, or tries to sabotage our success...
We all tell ourselves things after an event in our lives to help us make sense of what happened. If I spill spaghetti in my lap at a restaurant, I might tell myself that:
1) I'm having a bad day, and this just figures
2) I'm a klutz and I need to improve my manual dexterity
3) It's not my fault, the plate was oily and the fork slipped out of my fingers Somebody else set me up to look stupid...
4) I'm a loser, what kind of an idiot spills his meal in his lap
5) I'm just human, and this was one of those dumb things that can happen
6) This is pretty damn funny, and I've got an opportunity to show that I'm not an insecure dweeb by having a little fun with this...
You get the picture... YOU decide what meaning you're going to get from the results you get. You also can choose what kind of message you want to send to your nervous system about your performance and value. If you're used to sending negative "loserboy" messages all the time, you're going to have to work a little harder to break this bad habit and start steering yourself over to the right message.
The key here is PERSISTENCE.
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Most guys try to do all those stupid affirmations, and they get very little success.
Why?
Because affirmations are a low-investment option that rarely pay off. (I discuss this in detail in my new program, by the way.)
The key to keeping yourself on the right track is what we call the "warrior spirit" in the Martial Arts.
It's an attitude that nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will stop you from getting what you want from life.
And NOTHING will ever bring your attitude down.
It's just about re-programming.
If you walk on a certain path in the woods every day, over the course of a year, it's going to be very worn and easy to follow.
Now, if you were told that there is a shorter way to cut through this forest, one with a better view, and that passes by an apple tree with the most delicious fruit you've ever tasted, you'd probably find it difficult to start a brand new path through all the bushes and thorns.
In fact, if there's a choice between your current easy path and this other wonderful path - even if it's actually an easier path once you get through wearing it in, you'll probably stay on the one that's most COMFORTABLE and FAMILIAR.
The current path... even if it is limiting you, at least it's a devil you know.
And this is how so many guys' lives end in mediocrity.
They don't find the courage and the energy and the warrior spirit to go after the good trail. They'd rather take the easy way out.
The new trail would just be too much trouble, they think.
And then the rationalization starts in.
- My path isn't so bad, really ...
- I bet that apple tree isn't what they're cracking it up to be...
- Sure I've got a sewage plant on my path, but I can just hold my nose when I walk past it...
- I don't need a better path... it's find the way things are...
Do you see how you set yourself up for a life of getting less than what you deserve?
It's all in the way you talk to yourself.
And you can find out how to control this inner voice HERE...
http://www.alphaseduction.com
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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DATING ADVICE FOR THE ALPHA MAN QUESTION:
Hi Carlos, I was really wondering how I could find out how my girlfriend really feels about me if I can't have her telling me herself in the form of reassurance? I'd like to know that i'm not the only one who is crazy about her (has to be mutual!).
I almost broke up with her but we made up after I told her I couldnt force her into anything , so I needed to know whether she was in or out!!...
To my heart's rescue she told me she cared about me. I cant seem to get myself convinced that she believes in "US". Is it really that difficult for women to express the way they feel without fear of being hurt or taken advantage of?
Thank you for the latest correspondence, it helped me realise that if I didn't maintain confidence and control she'd drift away. I aim to be more interesting in my approach with her rather than being exact..
CARLOS:
"To your heart's rescue" ? Oh, man... you're heading down the path of wussy-dom...
The real issue here is not that you don't "know" how she really feels about you...
It's that you CARE.
Think about it for a second...
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If you got a letter in your mailbox today telling you that your best friend from high school had hated your guts and really wished you dead during your Senior year, how would you feel?
Would you tear your hair out and cry?
Would you wish that you could go back over the last 10 years of your life and feel all the misery that you SHOULD have felt if you'd only known about it?
No. You did just fine with whatever belief you had.
I'm here to tell you that there are people that both HATE you and LOVE you in this world, AND that you'll probably never get that letter telling you how they feel so that you can "make up your mind."
What other people think or feel about us doesn't matter to the Alpha. Opinions and feelings change with the wind (especially with women.) Don't chase their opinion, or you'll be like a dog chasing his own tail.
The Alpha Man goes right on marching through life to the beat of his own drummer, and pursuing HIS goals, HIS aspirations, HIS dreams.
Because if there is ONE thing that will stop you from being the person you are trying to become, it's making decisions based upon what other people think.
If she's WITH YOU that's all the proof you need. By chasing her opinion, you'll lose her for sure, because she'll know that your confidence is built on HER opinion, and no one wants to be with someone to validate their sense of worth.
You'll also be giving off the vibe that your love is conditional upon her feeling the same way, and that makes for a stingy relationship where you only give to get.
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A strong Alpha Man doesn't need anyone's approval or affection to give his out freely, and that's why so many adore him.
Again, if you chase her opinion, or start fishing for feedback, she'll lose you faster than a bad hand on a video poker machine.
Guaranteed.
It's only your insecurities that keeps you needing to know how she feels.
The ONLY thing that matters is how YOU feel about YOU.
That's it.
PERIOD.
End of story.
Game over.
Zip up your fly.
Once you get the right mind-set, the world suddenly seems like a different place to you. This happens to every Alpha Man that wakes up from the Matrix and understands what his value is REALLY made of.
If you'd like to know what you're really made of, I want you to consider this:
The Alpha Man also knows that self-development is the path to a better life. It all starts with getting educated.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.
I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK.
The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics.
Get it here:
/dating-advice-for-men.htm
And in case you haven't heard about it by now, my latest program is now shipping...
If you ever wanted to know how to overcome your fears with women so that you could walk up and talk to ANY woman, this is something you've been looking for.
Follow this link for more information on this new project that will blow you away:
/talk-to-women-approachwomen.htm
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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