The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Saturday, 3:35 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

QUESTION:

Hi C,

I started up by subscribing to your newsletter. It happened when I moved out of the country for a few months, I decided that when I got back I no longer wanted to be the nice guy that everyone loves but actually be the one to get women. I searched quite a lot of websites...

After quite a lot more rubbish and contradicting stuff, I then found your website, by that point I was quite tired of looking for unconvincing material but I thought I couldn't do any harm to subscribe to the newsletter, so I did.

After several newsletters I realised I was onto a winner, your advice really started to make sense particularly because I've actually always been a pretty confident bloke I was just deluded about what women wanted, so I managed to pick up on stuff quite quickly without too much trouble.

After a couple of months I decided to buy your Dating Black Book, which helped me so much more. I must have read it through about 5 times now and always refer to points that I need help with (hence my previous question). I've also bought some audio sessions, which I enjoyed...

Thanks to your dating black book and newsletters my love life has improved a lot, so thanks a bunch.

I know in your black book you covered the early 'I love you', but I need a bit more detail if you can spare the time. Well I've been with a my girlfriend for about a month now, while I like her she does seem to be a bit needy/clingy. For the moment I can put up with this without much problem. However she has already said she loves me a few times.

Now this freaks me out a little and confuses me, I find it hard to believe that she is in love with me already, I know I'm certainly not in love with her. When she says it, it makes me feel a bit guilty because I know I cant say it back.

So rather than put up with this I've been thinking of sitting her down and telling her that I don't want her to say it unless she really means it. It seems like a good idea to me if I say it right, but I don't want to be making a big mistake. Can you please give me some feedback, Carlos? it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, E

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Watch out for the needy/clingy thing. Right now, it feels good because you are still in that period of Limerance. (This is a term for that blind emotional state we fall into when we're in lust.)

A year or two of this kind of insecurity and you'll be opening your wrists or pulling a Superman off a tall building to get away from it. What starts out cute and gratifying to our own insecurities often drives us batshit later on.

If you're not in love with her, don't say it. It isn't true, and it would damage you both.

Right now you're still in this relationship out of guilt. It may be time to consider moving on. She's using emotional blackmail to keep you around right now, and that's not good. She's also immature enough to not know the difference between her fairy-tale love in her head, and the real love of a mature, committed relationship.

If it's scary now, it probably won't get better.

Bite the bullet and do the man's job here. You can start by sitting her down and telling her how you feel and tell her that if this is an issue for her, perhaps you should start 'seeing other people.'

(That's a clever term meaning that you're breaking up. Funny thing is that women use it on men like that's NOT what it means, and men just say they don't want to see her anymore.)

I will say that I would not hold much hope for her to change much, even after you sit her down. It's highly likely that you'll have a calm period, and then it will go right back into Needy-ville.

And then you may have to be the man again and do something a tad more permanent.

Remember what I teach in The Dating Black Book about the Dating Continuum... Follow that advice and you can't go wrong.

CONTINUED...

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QUESTION:

Carlos Xuma,

I have been receiving Alpha emails for a short amount of time and the information sounds interesting. �I need some advice or publication that would help me out with my particular situation. �I have been dating this woman for 2 months and the 1st month went very well, had sex, she was calling me "sweetie" "honey" etc.. �

Then she let me know 4 weeks after we had been dating that her ex-boyfriend of 3 years had called her to go to dinner (he broke up with her), I said "no problem if you need time to figure things take some time and call me in August". �She said that was not necessary, she still wanted to see me. �

Shortly after this we were out at the bar with some friends playing pool with some strangers and she kissed some random guy, so I went up, told the guy to back off and almost started a fight. �She told me to be mad at her and not the guy as it meant nothing to her, she was just flirting. �I told her this is not acceptable behavior around me and she agreed it would not happen again. �Should I dump her, or just pull back and call her in 3 weeks?

Thanks, DP

CARLOS ANSWERS:

I read this and immediately had a vision of this woman, having dealt with many like her before. She's giving off red flags, but you're ignoring them for cheap superficial signals like affection and sex. Sorry to tell you, man ... these things are STANDARD EQUIPMENT with any woman. Your expectations are coming from a scarcity point of view.

Rarely do I feel that my advice needs to be so short and sweet, but if I were to sum it up in less than 10 words ....

Dump her. She�s a tramp.

She�s playing you and your emotions like a grand piano.

Any Alpha Man would have calmly broken it off with her the second she brought up an "ex" boyfriend. Chances are, she's his booty call, and you'll be the chump that nicely gives her some "space" while she goes off to have screaming, deep inner orgasms with him.

Sound a bit extreme?

Nope. Not a bit.

There's a difference between giving a woman space in a wimpy way and knowing when you're going down the old heartache trail. When a woman feels compelled to let you in on this information, it's a test or it's her way of letting you know that she's got unresolved feelings for him.

Oh, and for the record, she was actually right about something. You should have been mad at her instead of that guy. It was HER choice to jeopardize what she had with you. What you should have done was say, "Hey, man, you want her? She's cheap." Take a quarter from the change on the bar. "Okay, she's yours."

Letting him have her is even better than fighting him. Give the gift that keeps on giving, I say.

"Meant nothing," huh? If that was true, she wouldn't have kissed him. And if it was true, she lacks self-control. She'll be doing it again next week. Just try and get a restful night's sleep the next time she goes out "with the girls."

The next time this happens to you (I fear the lesson may not� be learned as deeply as possible yet), I want you to do this at the first sign of poor behavior or potential red flags:

Do not give her another chance!

You've already let her get away with two episodes of severe dating misconduct. You're demonstrating that you'll take anything she does as long as there's a chance you'll get some at a later date.

It's not about if you should dump her or wait 3 weeks. This is showing that you actually value her enough to want some kind of manipulative result. When a woman violates your standards of behavior in any way, she is GONE.

CONTINUED...

______________________

At least she is in my world.

Powerful men don't try too hard. They know how to influence a woman by demonstrating their internal strength in certain ways.

Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start showing her a real Alpha Man?

If you'd like to learn more about REAL Game and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should take a look at the program that will put you on the path - The Secrets of the Alpha Man.

http://www.alphaseduction.com

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos Xuma

"Carlos

Not sure if this will actually get to you. Just wanted to say "You KICK ASS!!"

I honestly havent felt this confident and had so much control with a women ever...

You're Bigger than life! keep it coming

Sincerely, Ron S."

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

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It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

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