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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 2:12 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION: CAN YOU BE A GEEK AND GET SOME?
Hey Carlos,
Here's an interesting question. I work in the IT industry and also have interests in the literary community. Outside of my relationships I began writing a 'blog' which has become quite popular among friends, family and a few extras I picked up along the way. I enjoy doing it as an exercise to keep my creative and writing skills honed.
The other day, one of my co-workers was ribbing me about my single status and said "The kind of girls you're trying to attract would never go out with a guy who has his own blog!". I know he was being an ass but it still struck a chord with me... could he be right?
I am currently dating a girl who doesn't know about my 'online presence' and frankly could care less about the Internet in general. She's a sophisticated career woman who's said (when speaking about my career) that she likes guys who are just *a little* geeky. So far things with her are actually going really well. But I am a little concerned about one of her friends 'Googling' me and sending her a link to my blog.
It's not that there's anything on there to be embarrassed about, it's just never really come up in conversation and it's not something I generally mention to people who wouldn't otherwise be interested. Part of me wants to shut it down rather than risk her judging me as a 'geek' because I have a blog and we don't really know each other all that well yet. Then again, she may not even care. This dilemma could apply to any interest though really - not just blogging. What do you think?
CARLOS:
Think about it: It's all about SPIN.
I date women all the time, and I let them know about what I do for men. Now, can you imagine how that could be viewed? It's all in your attitude. If you try to hide this part of you, it will slowly erode your Alpha Attitude.
Instead, Bring it out in the open and make her want you BECAUSE you have a Blog.
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Do not curtail your interests to avoid an assumption on her part. Instead, project it as a passion of yours, and demonstrate that it's not just a "Blog," it's your voice to the world.
Poeticize it. Make it sound lofty and ambitious.
Then tease her that she should have her own or she can't hang with geeky guys.
I bring up my geekiness all the time as a way to display vulnerability, and it's something I'll be covering very soon in the Advanced Audio Coaching.
You should subscribe...
/audioprogsub.htm
Before I get to the next question, I wanted to let you know that the brand new Audio Coaching session just came out last week.
It's Session 33, and it continues our third year of providing you top quality monthly audio for you on the subject of dating and improving your confidence with women.
Here's what you're going to learn in this session-
SESSION 33 - Advanced Audio Coaching - over 130 minutes of advice, tips, strategies, and exercises:
CONSISTENCY - Have you ever wondered how to make your skills work more consistently? You'll learn how to deal with your changing moods, your energy level, how and where to get yourself more consistent, the factors that impact your state, the ANTHEM method of changing your state at any time, Carlos' personal example, more...
DATE BEHAVIOR - How to use the date in the best way, What to watch for in her behavior, The primary goal of the date, What she's most concerned about, What you must show her if you want to see her again, What you should NOT do on the date, Why you must be direct with her, How to close the date, and more ...
EVOLUTION OF YOUR SKILLS - The paths of improvement of the Attraction Artist, The uncomfortable start syndrome, Why most guys aren't "naturals", How naturals lose their game, The Three Types of Attractive Men, How to evolve into a "natural" with women, The 6 Warning signs of falling into "nice guy" mode with women, and more ...
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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FASHION 2006 - Carlos covers the latest fashion trends, How to interpret what you see in fashion, Why you can't wear what you see, The spectrum of dress, Finding the right "look," The correct fit for your clothes, The 10 Commandments of Style, and more ...
ALPHA ATTITUDE: MIND CONTROL - The 3 roles of your mind that you must cultivate, How to control the inputs, What to avoid to keep a positive attitude, The "girlfriend simulator" you MUST avoid, The people you must avoid, and more ...
ASSESSING BARS AND CLUBS and EXERCISE: PARTNER DRILLS and MUCH more.
There's a ton of great stuff in this month's session. And I always sneak in a bunch of secrets that you won't want to miss out on in the mini e-book that comes with each session.
Grab it now ... You can get your subscription here:
/audioprogsub.htm
QUESTION:
Dear Carlos:
I wanted to pose a question that I think is of interest to all men: First, let's face the facts: women can do lots of damage to a man -- false accusations of rape, false accusations of domestic violence, they can COMMIT domestic violence against a man, they can lie about taking birth control pills, they can get man thrown out of his own house (if they live with him) through a restraining order....the list goes on and on.
Is there a stance, an attitude a man can take with women to discourage these behaviors? Can he give the woman a message message, "You better not give me any crap, or crap on me? Please advise.
Thanks.
Best regards,
E.F.
Denver, CO
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CARLOS:
Women can do a great many negative things to men. The best defense is a great offense, as it was once said. Don't get caught up in thinking that you are within minutes of this kind of reprisal from a woman. If you set the right precedent, you won't have this problem.
The attitude you must take is that of an Alpha Man. You communicate through your demeanor that any kind of misbehavior on her part is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
It starts by not letting little things go without letting her knowthat you notice them. When she makes a rude comment, you do NOT let it go by. It starts with the little things, so you have to be watchful and wary of them.
But first and foremost, she must understand CLEARLY that if she makes an egregious error in her behavior, she is GONE.
I've actually let women know this by explaining past situations (without making it sound like a warning) that I will break up with a woman who misbehaves or takes me for granted.
The simple truth is that in order for a woman to RESPECT R-E-S-P-E-C-T, she must fear you just a little.
Not that you'll hurt her or cause her any kind of harm, but she must fear the consequences of losing you.
Like it or not, folks, the things we are most appreciative of are the things we are most afraid of losing.
What you know you have, you take for granted.
So if she knows I could walk out the door at any moment - but that I'm CHOOSING to stay here - she'll want me ten times more.
Most guys work in the opposite direction. They hope that if they just make her realize how much he'll be there for her, and that he'll stand by her side no matter what (a popular 'romantic' delusion injected into many guys' heads by the media)...
...if he shows enough self-sacrifice, she'll just want him.
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Uh, no sir. That's not the case.
Most of the things you might imagine about what makes a woman attracted to a guy aren't really true, in fact.
Some guys think that they'll "Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point never comes. They usually let ego and shame block them from getting True success with women.
Wouldn't it be great if you could look forward to this week knowing that you could go ANYWHERE and get hooked up with ANY woman you want?
You can get this kind of understanding RIGHT NOW. Head on over to /dating-advice.htm and get your dating life under YOUR control.
These emails give you "Players" advice, but you still need to understand the rules of the game.
Do you know why Inner Game is ESSENTIAL to your success?
Do you want to learn what it is that most guys are missing in their ability to at tract ladies into their life?
This is what the other guys are using, and if you don't start learning the principles of how to create attraction, you're losing ground every day you wait.
Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down approach strategies are exactly what my Approach Women Program will teach you.
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Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify the right behaviors so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Another failed date? Another $50 or more blown on a woman that really wasn't into me?
The Approach Program gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos Xuma
PS: If you wonder even for a minute whether you should look at the other programs I offer, just have a look at this email I just received:
"Carlos, I have always been an extrovert, and have always been "thick-skinned" when it comes to dating and women. Don't get me wrong, I have an emotional side to me and it does not feel "good" to get rejected, however when rejected in the past, I generally remained cool, calm, and collected and then moved on to the NEXT woman down the road. This mentality has served me well, because I saw more women and before long the rejections lessened and I did not have to rely on my thick skin when it came to approaching women.
"Your CD's truly are a fantastic product. The advice is so real and to-the-point. There is no B.S. which is so refreshing in this overly commercialized world. Further, everything on there is totally accurate. Admittedly, I came across your product by accident when I was searching the web and came across your product. I had never even heard of the phrase "Alpha-Man" before.
"When I purchased the [Secrets of the Alpha Man] in late 2004, I was of the mentality: "If I buy this can you guarantee that it will work?" WRONG FRAME OF MIND. To that end, I did purchase it, and once I began using the CD's I was introduced to a whole new world--it was sort of like the Matrix. When I began implementing the strategies into my game, it took a little time and some effort, but within six months I had eliminated most of the "nice guy" beta qualities I had lingering in my sub-conscious. The bad thoughts that creep into one's mind from time to time come back, but I have learned to take action and act on the positive.
http://www.alphaseduction.com
"Well, despite the fact that I was hooking up with other girls, in the back of my head I always envisioned this particular girl to be the best. My brain was telling me to meet new women, but my emotions were telling me to "keep trying" with this one particular girl. As it became evident that I had done too many "beta" type actions before actually forming a real relationship with her, I had developed the "Little Engine that Could" mentality and kept on trying to "fix" things with her. The worst part about the whole ordeal was that I developed a solid chemistry with her before the actual friendship exploded as a result of some of the dumb things I did.
"This is where I truly began to believe in your product because you nailed my case on the head--you call it the "one that got away" syndrome. When I heard this on your CD, I had a chuckle but then thought twice about laughing out loud because that was totally me. It's that awful sensation that makes one want to fix things with the woman he was with. He's already fucked things up, but his thick skull keeps telling him to fix things so that they are like they were when the two began.
"Ummmm...yeah, the woman's mind does not work that way.
"Thank God for your CD's and a few other good fortunes that fell my way. Because, I cannot honestly say that if I had not purchased your CD's that I would not still be in the pathetic "friend zone" with this girl...emailing and sending lame forwards making her feel superior and continuing to feel deep down inferior in some warped and deranged way. (Sort of like the way that every Emo-main stream song on the radio implores young men to be. Just listen to the radio and you have got to laugh at some of the music that is played these days. I don't know the names of the songs, but it has gotten really bad.)
"I have moved on from that and have a fantastic girlfriend these days. She's a beautiful woman and she treats me right and we have a solid relationship--things are going well, so far so good."
Download your copy of the Secrets of the Alpha Man here:
http://www.alphaseduction.com
"The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next." - Michael E. Gerber.
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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