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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 1:30 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION : LOSING YOUR RELIGION
Dear Carlos, I understand you were raised from a catholic upbringing. I am 19 yrs old, about to enter college and have been studying social dynamics/ dating for quite sometime now, I have changed my perspectives and beliefts towards the subject of sex. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and very much a highly spiritual person. But I tend to have these weird sexual guilt sometimes, perhaps it's from the years and years of brainwashing and social conditioning I received from my parents and every non believers out there. I also still have friends that tries to make me guilty everytime I talk about sex and comment about a h0t [woman]. They call me a " perve" , " a horny filipino" , a " man whore" and I also have friends that are religious and probably knows I'm not that religious by my laidback attitude towards sex by trying to convert me by telling me to stop my " raw desires" or I will burn in the fires of hell.
Plus, it's also my family, my parents keep preaching to me about Pre-marital sex and plus my sister is always trying to hook me up w/ these nerdy girls...lol.
Now my question is, I really want to get my innergame together and stop feeling all these guilt that I would sometimes feel when it comes to chicks, what are some good ways to do that? How can I change my social environment and be cool about it w/ my catholic community?
CARLOS:
Yes, I've been a Catholic, as well as a great many other things in my day.
I realize that by bringing this up, I'm risking losing people, but I think the smart guys will know where I'm coming from.
When I cover this topic I am walking on very emotionally charged ground. People are VERY sensitive to their religious and spiritual beliefs, because they really are the foundation of our life. If we have no grounding, we wander aimlessly, wondering whether it's all worth it or not.
The one thing that has served me most is that you need to understand that RELIGION is a man-made thing. It is not NATURAL. We are imposing a man-made order on something that is beyond us to control or understand.
And, unfortunately, most religions over time have made it all about POWER.
Power over the people.
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If you control what someone holds as their fundamental principle in life, you control THEM.
That's what we see in many religious doctrines.
That's why I no longer subscribe to any "religion." I am very spiritual, but I just don't believe it's in our ability to even comprehend the nature of God. Or whatever you believe is the spiritual force in the universe.
So I decided that, even though I was very comfortable with the church (and that comfort really mean that I wasn't growing, I was just clinging to outdated beliefs) that I could no longer hang with my home boys of the Cloth. I had to move on and explore.
So I dabbled in other religions. And they promised much, delivering only one thing. (And this is actually a valuable benefit of religion. )
A sense of belonging and community.
But sometimes even that can even be twisted to dark designs. Look at David Koresh, or any of the cult leaders from the past.
The thing I learned to watch out for is when you are told that you will be punished for NOT believing what they tell you to believe and do. That's false and manipulative. I believe that any God that had the power to create is also smart enough to know that I'm still a good person, even if I didn't make it down for the communion wafer this week.
I also watch out for BLACK & WHITE thinking. You know, the kind that says that if you don't believe EVERYTHING this person/book/church/etc. has to say, then you can't be a part of their group. (Funny how this is the way most every religion works.)
Ya dig?
So I won't even pretend to advise anyone on their beliefs, even though mine are pretty obvious. But you can reconcile your understanding like this:
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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THINK FOR YOURSELF. The one thing every organization based in power fears most is that the people will think for themselves. They will become intelligent and see through the lies that there is really more to the picture than they were led to believe.
So if your friends tell you to watch out for pre-marital sex, well that's a decision you'll just have to make for yourself. If you decide to follow it, congratulations for standing behind something you believe in.
But get educated FIRST. THEN decide. Not the other way around.
It sounds like you made up your mind that there are things that you don't agree with about your church. That you know there are ways to date the women you want.
Great, now decide what you're going to do with that.
Are you going to live in fear of discovery? That's going to be much more painful to you because you will be running around fearing that you're doing something WRONG. And that you're going to get PUNISHED for it. And that you'll LOSE APPROVAL FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS for it.
And that right there is enough to keep 95% of the people following the religions they were born with.
All of those things, by the way, are based on FEAR.
The other motivator in life is DESIRE. Which, funny enough, is another tool of deception for many. If you can make someone fear their own desires, such as for sexual gratification, then you TOTALLY CONTROL THEM.
Wow, heavy stuff, huh?
I don't like being this heavy, so I'll just say this:
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You can't get your game together if you're undermining your own self-confidence by believing you could be WRONG and you might be PUNISHED for it.
So get past that as fast as you can. Make up your mind that you won't be manipulated. Make up your mind that you'll think for yourself, and you'll believe what you believe because you CHOOSE to believe it, not because someone told you you MUST believe it.
And keep your mind OPEN. Never become one of those people that closes off all paths, because then you'll be no better than the people who lock you into their dogma.
Don't live in the middle ground of guilt and uncertainty, because that's really what hell's all about. The hell of other people's opinions and judgments.
And the hell of being in a place where you never live your life to the fullest. Or the hell of worrying that you'll end up at the end of your life having made the wrong choice, and then never making any choices as a result.
In the immortal words from Braveheart: "Every man dies - but not every man truly lives."
If you want more Q&A, I suggest you go check out my Blog right now. I've got a ton of new information there for you, and it's updated pretty much every day.
But before you go, let me ask you something...
Are you looking to develop a few of the skills that you need to get dates with women? Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills. I've got 'em.
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They're not complicated, either.
I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.
If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, with an iron-clad guarantee for the next 90 days.
Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.
I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.
Put this link in your browser to download it: http:/www.datingdynamics.com
SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.
Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set : http://www.alphaseduction.com
ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.
Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!
Put this link in your browser to check it out: /audioprog.htm
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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I'm in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.
Is there ANYTHING more important?
Remember life is too short, and death is too long.
Don't wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.
Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
This is the year for you to get successful with women!
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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