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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Saturday, 1:10 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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DOUBLE STANDARD
This week I've got a little something to rant about....
I was sent an "article" (I use quotes because the value of this information is in doubt) about men who "step out" on their women.
Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.
The woman's question to this - (COUGH) - "advisor" was "I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks."
Now this advisor is a "VP of Romance" (Yeah, right) of a very popular online dating site. (And since we all know that men don't know anything about "romance," this advisor is a woman.)
She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are "philanderers and con artists."
Wow, strong words.
Well, I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the "bad boy" and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the term "con artist" is out of bitterness. Some "bad boys" are just plain criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary romances, folks.
Bad boys are men that have the right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.
Bad boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad boys are genuinely assholes.
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I believe that most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won't nag or control us (and they don't WANT to do this, but most guys let them, so they oblige.)
If we find a truly amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we'd gladly trade in the case of Trojans for a more established "relationship." And I hear about these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get obsessed with her and scare her off.
This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. - Date Other Women!
It keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.
In this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: "While you're working on all this, don't stop dating. But do be a little choosier. ... Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however."
Huh? So if a guy dates around, he's a philanderer. He's a bad-boy and not desirable.
But she's saying it's okay for a woman to date several men and that makes her "choosy."
WTF???
Welcome to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It's okay for women to date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see if he passes her tests for true love.
Puh-lease.
I smell what you're cookin', honey, and I'm leaving the kitchen.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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While I'll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man who "sleeps around" on women, he's pretty darn rare in this day and age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the new dating world.
It's only one guy in twenty that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the "player" lifestyle.
Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call "players"? And how many are really "bad boys"?
In reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the fact. If she couldn't keep him interested, he becomes a "player." If all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn't stick around, he was also a "bad boy."
Most guys I've seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:
1) Up front that they're not looking to settle down with one woman yet (which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and
2) if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she's getting into here. She's just happy to have found a guy who doesn't try to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.
It's time to realize that you're grown ups, ladies. You're adults. We're all responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you KNEW wasn't going to be a long-term commitment. He didn't manipulate or trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball dive in the deep end of a pool.
There's a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.
Gentlemen, I'm not into Female Bashing, I'm into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN again. This world we're in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have an XY chromosome.
Being a man is cool, Beavis... it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I'm a red blooded MAN.
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Love the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want and need real MEN.
In this month's Playboy, Christina Applegate says: "What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men - the take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude."
Damn straight.
So here's the deal: While it's generally accepted that women can date around and be more "choosy," men have to deal with the universal stigma that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more than one woman, you might get labeled "bad boy."
But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.
Face it: Women like "bad boys" because they know how to make women happy. Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun they give them in return. They're REAL men.
Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys!
Always remember that women want what other women want.
I used to think that the mystique "bad boys" had was something that you had to be born with, and then I discovered what qualities they used that were so attractive to women, and why these guys got all the sex the other guys were only dreaming about.
If you want to know more about what a bad boy really is and how his personality attracts women, download my e-book here:
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I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.
Ask yourself:
Wouldn't it be great to learn how women REALLY think and work?
Wouldn't it be fantastic to finally put aside your fears once and for all? Approach women anywhere and anytime?
And GET RESULTS with women.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of seduction and dating.
I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK. You need to download it from here.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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You'll get answers to questions like:
... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another girlfriend?
... How do you meet MORE hot women?
... How do you get them attracted to you right from the start?
... How do you stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 9 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit...
Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - firsthand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.
The monthly audio series is OVER 100 MINUTES of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download here:
/audioprog.htm
-Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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