The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Saturday, 9:50 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

CRAZY CHICK DATING ADVICE:

Hey Carlos, when a you meet a girl, or woman who when you go out on your first date tells you that "I just want to let you know that I have issues" what does that mean?

Is it my place to ask her what kind of issues and if she is seeking some help? Normally my interpretation of issues especially when am dealing with females is about a previous relationship gone bad.

CARLOS: I'd ask (within about 2 seconds) "What kind of issues?"

If she's telling you she's got 'em, you need to know what they are. If someone was selling you a car, wouldn't you want to know what issues it had?

You bet your a$$ you do.

Ask away. Don't be timid. Of course it's your place to ask. You're considering investing yourself emotionally in her, you better know EXACTLY what's messed up in her wiring.

Protect yourself.

I just got finished doing an introduction class with a woman that had more issues than Playboy magazine. She came in for some self-defense instruction and basically had a core meltdown in the first 10 minutes. She was crazy, and I had to tell her this situation would not work out. I don't care about her money; I wouldn't train her. Her energy was draining to be in the same room with. I was glad to be rid of her.

FLUSH>>.....

Repeat after me: Life is too short for crazy women.

DATING ADVICE QUESTION - AMOG:

I watched an episode of "Blind Date" where a girl was out with a pretty wimpy acting guy. During dinner, some random guy approaches their table, insults the dudes' shirt, and basically hits on the girl. The dude didn't do anything at all, just sat there looking like a schmuck. You could tell his date was disgusted with him. Now that was pretty disrespectful, hitting on the girl that you are OUT ON A DATE WITH and insulting you while you are on a date. At the end of the date, the girl didn't want to see him anymore and thought he was wimpy.

How should I handle this if it ever happens to me? It's easy to sit back and watch it happen to someone else and realize how terrible it makes HIM look, but if I was actually thrown in the middle of a situation like this, which is something I'm not really prepared for, I don't really know what the heck I'D do either. It'd obviously be an automatic angry response to beat the guy's a$$, but I'm not sure that is the way to go here...

CARLOS: I've actually covered this in the past with several newsletters and audio segments.

This guy is doing the standard AMOG routine. "Alpha Male Other Guy."

He's trying to out-Alpha this poor punk. (And come on, you know this was a setup for television, right?)

First of all, the "beat his ass" response is definitely lame. When you actually grow up, you realize that this leads to possible lawsuits, and possibly getting your own butt tossed in the dirt - or possibly worse.

The answer to this little dilemma can be summed up with:

"WWBMD?" What Would Bill Murray Do?

Have you ever seen him in his older roles, like in Stripes, and Ghostbusters, and his previous comedies?

He has this WAY about him when he handles chodes like this. He can disarm with a clever put-down that makes you wonder what he's doing, until he's already laughing at you.

Ask women what they think of Bill Murray. They love him. Because he knows how to hold his own. And he's not even very good looking...

He doesn't get angry unless it's an obvious tactic to further his knocking you back down.

Check out how he handles the guy who shut off their "grid" in the Mayor's office in Ghostbusters. Or even how he handles being around 3 gorgeous women in "Charlie's Angels." He's just got this aura of "cool" about him.

Here's what I see Bill doing in this situation - and what I would do in the same:

"Dude! How the heck are you!" Getting up from the table to shake his hand. When the guy offers his hand (or if he doesn't), Bill grabs him and hugs him. "It's been what, 10 years! You look good! How's that little guy of yours doing?"

(Either pretending the guy has a kid, OR pointing to the guy's crotch, but doesn't wait for a response.

"Oh, hey, that's nice of you to come over here and greet my lady like this, but she's so tired after the autograph signing party, and we're just trying to get a little food in our tum-tums. BARTENDER! Give my friend here a drink! Dirk? Is that your name? Give Dirk here a drink on me!"

And he turns the guy towards the bar. "It was great seeing you. And you can get this shirt at ANY Target, my man! It would be tough on your budget, I know, but you could wait for a sale." Gives a cheesy smile and laugh.

Turns to his date and winks with a real smile. "That Derek is such a crazy dude."

Did you get that?

If not, re-read it as many times as it takes until you can visualize the interaction and the cocky way in which he handles this.

He didn't care about this other punk's universe. He wasn't wallowing in self-pity over getting "picked on."

He took a cocky and disarming sense of humor approach to things.

CONTINUED...

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He didn't sulk or concern himself with how disrespectful this guy was. He just turned the situation around and had some fun with it.

No woman wants a man who can't stand up for himself. It's pitiful.

That woman was right for not wanting to see him again. He had no balls. Can you imagine him in bed, asking permission to doeverything, or sulking when she makes some comment about slowing down?

I don't feel sorry for the guy, honestly. I only hope he learns from what happened.

First of all, he should have my Alpha Man Program. It would never have gone this bad if he did. The honest truth is that she was already making up her mind in this direction before this incident probably, and this was the finishing touch.

Second, yeah, I'm sure he's a "nice guy" and there are a million women out there going "Awwwwww!" But no matter what they say, they aren't attracted to him either. He'd just be the recipient of pity.

An Alpha Man stands up for what he wants in life. This woman made the right decision because she knew he wouldn't have the stones to protect her when it came down to it. Even if he had gotten up and tried picking a fight over her, that would have been 1000% better than sitting in silence.

For those of you guys out there who want to know how that whole "cocky & funny" thing works, this is the best way to learn - from the master himself - Bill Murray.

A perfect example of how a cocky, weird looking guy attracts hot women. And not just in the movies.

Yeah, Bill's an Alpha.

Stay Alpha, and keep going after it.

Now, once you get the right mind-set, the dating world suddenly seems like a different place to you.

If you'd like to know what you're really made of, I want you to consider this:

The Alpha Man also knows that self-development is the path to a better life. It all starts with getting educated.

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

I can show you the way to better results with women, and it's all in my e-books and audio.

The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating scene explained, and all the inner-workings of social dynamics as well as dating dynamics.

Get it here:
/dating-advice-for-men.htm

And in case you haven't heard about it by now, my latest program is now shipping...

If you ever wanted to know how to overcome your fears with women so that you could walk up and talk to ANY woman, this is something you've been looking for.

Follow this link for more information on this new project that will blow you away:
/talk-to-women-approachwomen.htm

I'll be back with more advice soon ...

- Carlos

QUESTION:

Hey C,

I have a kind of one-itis i've never had before, this time because its over a guy (no not in the gay sense!). he's my best friend and kind of a mentor, he's been the one to help improve my confidence and put your techniques in to practice. We also work together and can make a great time out of anything.

Anyway we are from England but he's moving to Canada for 8 months and i'll probably be only able to see him once if at all. He leaves tomorrow and its only just hit me and i feel awful. This is definitely worse than one-itis overy any kind of girl. Your definitely right about good male friends being much more important than women. Only problem with this one-itis i have no idea how to cure it, feels like a part of me is being taken away and i have the fear that without his encouragement i'll return to my former less confident self.

What can i do C? please help me out.

E

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Yeah, it sucks when someone you've grown close to leaves. I've recently lost a person I thought of as my close friend. His marriage apparently did not include space for old friends, so I no longer see him. C'est la vie. It hurt, but I got over it.

And for any of you guys out there snickering at his attachment to a guy, get over your homophobia and realize that connecting with people is a part of what an Alpha Man does. It's not Gay, it's the Way of the Alpha.

Remember a few things, though:

1) If your confidence requires anyone outside of yourself, it's not really confidence. Or it is, but you don't realize that it has nothing to do with that person. Get it? He's only enabling you to thikn of yourself in a different way (i.e., your SELF IMAGE). You need to discover what it was that made your unique pairing work.

2) Realize that the loss of friends is a NATURAL part of life. NOTHING is forever. You are lucky that at least he will be returning in 8 months. Some people leave your life forever. You need to re-frame this event to serve you, not shake your foundations.

3) Also let this experience teach you to "load balance" your friends. In other words, you probably put too much importance on this one friend. Where are your other friends? A single point-of-failure in your social network is not a good thing. You always need a backup. (You engineer geeks are probably getting a good laugh out of this analogy...)

Get back out there and replenish your social network.

What would you do if this was a woman? You'd go out and meet 10 more.

Why should this be any different?

QUESTION:

Well, Carlos, I just moved back into school and got settled into my new apartment. It's been a slow couple of days, although I have been keeping busy, but I had a girl over last night who I talked to a few times over the summer and I knew was attracted to me.

We hooked up, a little buzzed from a couple of drinks and she said and did some stuff that got me thinking she is very possessive.

She wants to cook me dinner and made mention of being together and all this crap I hope was only drunk blabber. Furthermore, I think I realized after I "finished" my business, I really didn't want anything to do with her. I almost immediately lost all attraction for her.

I don't want to be an asshole, but if she persists and continues to call me which she said she plans on, how can I get her off my back? Geesh... look what your material has done to me. :)

Thanks,
P

CARLOS ANSWERS:

This is your opportunity to tell her "Hey, I think you're cool, but I think we should just be friends..."

And she'll probably STILL want you.. And you can then have more social proof with the other ladies at school ....

Be nice, because she could be psycho. You don't want to wake up and be in some lame teenage horror movie. Treat her the way you'd want to be treated.

Trust your instincts. Most guys don't, and that's why they have problems down the road.

And if you guys want to learn what he did to hook this gal so quickly, take a look at THIS

IMPORTANT:

I wanted to drop you newsletter readers a note and let you know about something MASSIVELY important.

Within the week, I'm going to be raising the prices on all of my products.

That's right - ALL of them. I've kept the prices low for almost 5 years now, and it's time to catch up to production costs and overhead.

If you're paying attention, reading the newsletter, you deserve to know first and get an opportunity to get everything at the OLD rates.

The following products will be raised in price by 9/4/2006:

- The Dating Black Book (e-book)
- The Secrets of the Alpha Man (CD)
- Approach Women NOW (CD)
- Alpha Immersion DVD program (DVD)
- The Seduction Method (e-book)

The Advanced Audio Coaching will be going up on 9/1/2006 - Friday. If you're a subscriber, don't worry, you're still at your original rate.

But if you're going to get on the Audio program, this week is your last chance to get the lower rate.

No kidding and no hype.

9/4/2006

CONTINUED...

______________________

QUESTION:

Dear Carlos,

I'm taking a class where there happens to be a lady whose always wanted to hook me up with her daughter that is a year older than me (24). We finally hooked up and on the second date I was able to not only kiss her but get her in bed, HER bed.

The next day I woke up early when she was in the shower getting ready for a doctor's appointment. Not to intrude on her time, I woke up and did her bed and left. She caught me at the door. I said I had to leave because something came up and hugged her and bounced.

The next day, I wrote her an e-mail telling her how much fun I had and that we should do it again. Her reply was that my "ops" were "covert" and what I did was "uncouth". I explained that I was trying to not intrude on her time. But, I haven't heard from her since.

Where did I go wrong, and what is necessary to do in order to save what's left and work on it, IF anything there actually is something left.

CARLOS ANSWERS:

I'm not sure what that whole comment about covert ops and being uncouth was about, but here's the plain truth: You got everything she wanted to give you.

Congratulations, you did nothing wrong.

In her book, you two had a fun time and that's all she wanted. She's not looking for romance and a long term relationship in this. If she tries to shift any of the blame to you, it's in an attempt to maintain her self-image as a "nice girl." A "good girl" who "never does this sort of thing."

Now you're turning into a stage 3 clinger. Meaning, the more you try and make something out of what she considers a fun time, the more hopeless and desperate you appear.

The reality is that if you have the right attitude, quick sex isn't what you're trying to get. ESPECIALLY if you had any hopes to continue seeing her. Women often divide their dating into two areas: the fun and get freaky guys, and the stable "boyfriend" guys.

By being so darn good with my dating strategies, you managed to build attraction with a woman and have a hot night of fun.

What will happen next is that you'll either move on, or you'll start to stalk her because you feel a false sense of challenge.

I hope you'll make the right choice...

And it's probably time you learned how to make the right choice on this, too.

Get the Secrets of Attraction here

- Carlos Xuma

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

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