 |
|
 |
CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
|
Saturday, 4:25 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
|
|
QUESTION:
Hey Carlos,
I know it might seem kind of a small victory, but I all ready succeeded in going home with a girl from the club last night! Definitely worth telling you about.
I used the material from all of your products including: The Dating Black Book, The Seduction Method, The Secrets of the Alpha Man, and Approach Women NOW!
So I go out with 2 of my wingmen to a bar we went to on Saturday, this time dressed how you and CJ said to dress. I felt kind of funny, but I noticed everytime I do dress this way, good things with women tend to happen. (Last time I was approached)
Anyhow my wingman who is learning your stuff was sitting down frozen like I was in the San Francisco seminar at first, asking me about how to approach a set, when I just walked right up, noticed she had 2 drinks and was like, "Got enough drinks there?" She said playfully, "I'm thirsty..." And I replied, "Either that or an ALCOHOLIC"
That got her laughing a bit. She turned out to be married so I moved on. (NEXT as you say in your ebooks and CDs)
They were then doing a contest on stage where the woman who faked the best orgasm got 100 bucks in free drinks. They were calling for other girls so I walked up to another girl and was like, "Quick, quick, get up there...." and she's laughing and like no way. But after I tried to lean in to talk to her again, she leaned away sorta dodging me, then her friend grabbed her and took her a way.
Felt a little sting of rejection, but it's REALLY her eliminating herself right? Besides I could sit down and pick about all of the cognitive distortions about feeling bad about it later and make it better. (One of my exercises to help me maintain self-esteem)
I understood because of the Secrets of the Alpha Man program, as well as the seminar that *I* was the prize, that NO woman could change my value (which I've discovered doing the positive qualities excercise and coming up with 50 real reasons why I am an awesome man for a woman to have in her life) which is not reflected in others opinions of me or how they react to me.
So as you say in your books again, "NEXT!!" Moving on. I went to dance with this girl on the dance floor. Pushed up behind her. She turns around and moved away. I'm like "what the heck??" She says, "I have a boyfriend." And I said, "I was looking to dance, NOT FOR A JOB," and walked away from her. (Kind of a combination of your rebuttal I learned from the Alpha Man program, and other materials I own). "NEXT!"
Finally, I see my final target. I watched from a distance as a guy spoke to her, and moments later walked away after shaking her hand. I asked him, "What happened with her?" He said, "I just asked her name." And he told me her name. (I saw he didn't get that far with her and wanted to know why before I approached, so I could be prepared for that obstacle if she threw it at me.)
|
|
She's at the bar waiting for a drink obviously. It is like 1:40ish or so and usually drinks stop at 2 am. I used this fact as an approach. "Are they still serving drinks?" I asked. She said yes. I asked what she ordered. She told me vodka and club soda. "What's your name?" she asks me. "I'll come find you in a minute and we'll talk then." I told her.
(P.S.She told me this hooked her later, and that she at first wasn't planning to give me or any other guys the time of day. She thought I was just brushing her off when I said that.)
She walked off. I got my drink, went over to her. Started busting on her relentlessly. (I think I am getting the whole cocky/funny/tease-to-please thing down.) Seemed like everything she said, I found something to bust on her about.
I'd make comments like, "Oh so this is the part your friend comes and grabs you by the hand and says 'let's go' right?" Made fun of how she broke her shoe earlier saying, "Yeah right, you know you just grabbed it out of the closet like that and threw it on."
Anyways when her friends came up, I was like "Well give me your number." She responds with, "What are you doing tonight." I said, "Not sure YET." And we discussed her coming back to my house. She said give her my number first, and I'm like, "No, it doesn't work that way babe,"
([I used your phone strategy] as you cover in the ebooks and audio programs) so she had to dial her phone after putting my number in to get mine. I'm in my friends car, and she texts me saying "We should get together tonight, we could have some fun." I replied, "With friends or just us?" "Just us..is that OK?" she says. So I call her and get directions and have my wingman drop me off.
At her place I have her feed me a little, so I could get ready for what I knew was coming. I took her into her bedroom, but could tell she wasn't ready at all (Using the "occupation" techniques from The Seduction Method I could gauge this wasn't the right time for that and I would blow it if I tried to push it right there so I backed off a little and adjusted course)
...So I said, "Let's go watch a movie out there." We put on The Italian Job. Had another drink. Started making out. Kissed her a while, and occasionally would do as you said which is stop and say "......(that technique from the Alpha Man program)"
Did that a few times. Then kissed her some more. She was smelling my neck and keeping her face there because I smelled so good to her. (Took Carolyn's advice that night in SF with the cologne which was don't be too bashful with putting it on).
Anyways we did this till she said she was tired. I grabbed her hand and said, "Come on then." leading her to HER bedroom. (This is something your say do in all of your ebooks) Turned off the TV and lights. Did some more making out before undressing her. Then my friend I had my first successful one night stand from the club.
I am now OFFICIALLY back into the game for real.
This is awesome! I hope all of the other guys can see how you can go from an AFC to getting laid in a SINGLE moment once you have the right attitude, techniques, and even more importantly TAKE ACTION. Thanks C.
(P.S. What helped me take action was accepting the consequences of the risk of approaching in advance which was them possibly not being interested. I learned this from the Secrets of the Alpha Man ebook. Big deal if you realize and accept it in advance right?)
-M
CONTINUED...
|
|
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
|
|
CARLOS:
Man, I'm just... all mushy now...
sniff sniff...
It's like your little Alpha Boy just grew up and took his first step in the big singles world.
Now, I'm not a big proponent of the one-night-stand (after all, if it was worth it once, you should be going back and making it a many-night-stands.) That's not what my advice is geared towards.
BUT I'd be lying to you if I said that while most guys want a meaningful relationship, they also want the ABILITY and power to have this experience as well. Many women desire it, too, but the social constructs around them are different than men, as well as their needs for emotional security and the perception of society.
Still, my man, I'm giving you a locker room high-five. Well done! Especially because I know you needed that boost to your ego.
There's some seriously good stuff going on your report. Let's see if we can review the top points ...
1) You reframed the meaning of the events to something that empowered YOU.
So many guys go out and choose to interpret neutral events (a woman's disinterest is one) as being some statement of his value or a kick in the ego. The reality is that she doesn't know you AT ALL, so any judgment made of you is totally impulsive and probably incorrect.
This is a prime reason for the NEXT rule. It's like shopping for a car. If this lot doesn't have what you want, you go to the next one. It has NOTHING to do with you. The car lot manager did not see you coming and decide to put out his crappy models just for you.
It was circumstance.
Get over it. Move on.
|
|
NEXT.
2) My reply for the woman who wouldn't get up on stage for the orgasm contest: "Well, I realize it's probably been a while since you've had a good one, but I bet you're really good at faking them."
3) The sting of rejection (and it's really not rejection, as you might suspect) is nothing compared to the lingering slow death of sitting on the sidelines, growing old, and regretting. You learned this first-hand. Now program it permanently into your experience.
The big mistake a lot of guys make is that they don't internalize these realizations into their belief system.
4) "Oh so this is the part your friend comes and grabs you by the hand and says 'let's go' right?"
EXCELLENT job of inoculation, by the way. You handled what was coming with that girl spot ON. By bringing it up first, you demonstrated that you understood the social dynamics of the situation. You got REAL with her.
5) She fed you, too... priceless.
6) Great job of pacing her reality. She wasn't ready at first, but you backed off and took the patient, Alpha Man route. Very good.
You see, you don't need to hurry a woman into bed. Just know that eventually she will - she MUST - sleep with you. It doesn't have to be the first night. But sometimes that's the way it all works out.
7) Probably most important was your acknowledgment of the power of your attitude as you stated in your last sentence:
"accepting the consequences of the risk of approaching in advance which was them possibly not being interested"
|
Once you fully and emotionally accept this possible outcome, you are then set f-r-e-e to do whatever your heart desires, because you are no longer under the restraints of the female social Matrix.
But you know what? All that clever wordplay over metaphors like the Matrix do nothing to help you smell what it is this guy is cooking when he goes out and gets this kind of success in the REAL world.
If you want to REALLY learn how to increase your self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall self-image, you need to take a look at the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.
I wrote the book on this subject of Alpha Men (literally and figuratively) and now I want you guys to reap the benefits.
In this book, I reveal the secret that most guys out there (especially "pick up artists") don't realize.
Do you know why Inner Game is ESSENTIAL to your success?
Do you want to learn what it is that most guys are missing in their ability to at tract ladies into their life?
This is what the other guys are using, and if you don't start learning the principles of how to create attraction, you're losing ground every day you wait.
Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down strategies are exactly what my Alpha Man Program will teach you.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
|
CONTINUED...
______________________
|
|
Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these"Alpha" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Another failed date? Another $50 or more blown on a woman that really wasn't into me?
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos Xuma
|
The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
|
Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
|
| |
Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
| |
|  |