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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 11:00 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Whatup Carlos,
I took this girl out last Saturday, and she said she was busy this weekend. I didn't ask if she had a good time last Saturday after I dropped her off or the day after.
I asked her on Monday, and she said she said. Then she asked me if I did, and I paused and said yes eventually, after she tried to tease me by saying "no" to complete my answer.
I feel like I should've calmed her nerves between the date and Monday, but instead I didn't even talk to her for a couple days. This week she had been nervous around me.
I actually asked her out again on Monday because I felt that attraction was high, and she said she'll see. I asked her again on Thursday morning, and she said that she had plans this weekend. I think it would be a good idea to call her and ask her if I did or said anything that threw her off since or during the last date, and she'll probably say yes, because she has been nervous and uptight around me.
I've been going crazy over this one. Suggestions?
Thanks,
K
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
That's what I love to see... a guy who got the books and within a week is starting to GET IT.
The first thing to avoid is that "am I doing good?" syndrome, where you check in with the woman to find out how you're doing. The most common way guys do this is to ask a woman if they had a good time at the end of the date.
WRONG.
If she didn't have a good time, she isn't going to tell you, Einstein.
And if she did, she now knows you're a little insecure about it because you asked.
Translation:
LOSE-LOSE situation.
... For the rest of this week's newsletter, visit here:
datingdynamics.com/datingadvice/1-18-2005.htm
You may have to add "www." in front of that to make it work in your browser.
Don't miss out on the newsletters! We send these out weekly, and if you don't get them, you need to make sure your subscription is still active by going to the subscribe link at our web site.
These newsletters are not $pam, but your internet service probably doesn't filter very well. Add another email if you suspect you're not getting these each week.
Here's to a new year. 2005 is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!
- Carlos
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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QUESTION:
I bought your Alpha Man program a little over a year ago and have been getting fantastic results... I have one question though... if you can help me.
I have been talking to a girl at work. Should I ALWAYS answer her phone calls?
I want to show interest and such. and I know [people] fall for [people] when they are not around them. thus, I want to create and environment of scarcity... cause I don't want to be "too available".. know what I mean?
Like I say, we have talked to each other and seen each other for a few days in a row and then she calls the next day. should I answer? I feel I need to know when to be available and not. but, if she is interested and calling... should I always answer?
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
This is a common question that is asked by guys early on, when they first realize that they can control attraction with women.
When you realize just how deep some of these psychological principles run, you start to become very alert to their presence.
The first you realize is how much your availability affects a person. If you're available all the time, they don't feel your value. If you're never available, they'll forget about you.
Where do you draw the line?
Find out here:
http://tinyurl.com/pgw2o
- Carlos Xuma
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QUESTION: How you REALLY win a woman back...
Carlos, I've been listening to your podcasts and reading your blog for over a year now. A question I have for you is this: what advice to you have for good looking guys who have troubles with women? I ask because I once fell into this category, but fixed it to a good extent about a year ago, based a great deal on the advice you give.
Of course it comes down to a lack of confidence. Yet even now, having been in the same relationship for over a year, I find that my confidence is sometimes higher and sometimes lower, and I take steps to correct it when it drops.
I ask for advice on what, if anything, good looking guys must do differently, much for myself but also for my friend. Women I know find him very attractive, and he sometimes finds a woman by the end of the night, but overall he is dissatisfied with how he does, and having been there, I feel for him...
... By the way, I am a great evangelist of yours. By following your advice to "be a real man" � gaining and expressing deep-seated confidence � I was able to win back my girlfriend over a year ago, after several months of on-and-off, and overall very beta behavior on my part.
... I once read either from you ... that very good looking guys must cut back on the "cocky and funny" lest they intimidate or actually insult the woman, coming off more easily as arrogant. Do you have any thoughts on these matters?
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
First of all, what you say at the end of your letter is what I've been saying all along, and it's nice to hear it from someone who's actually taking my advice:
"Ironically, if you are to ever stand a chance of getting a womn back, this is the only way to do it. Only by demonstrating the ability to get on with your life will she ever find you attractive again."
And there it is, in black & white.
You used the advice and strategies in my programs and you got results. You got her back.
Now, as for your question about how to handle things if you're a good looking guy...
Yes, you must realize that looks DO make a difference, but not in the way that you might think.
This is how they matter:
http://tinyurl.com/pgw2o
- Carlos Xuma
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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