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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 4:25 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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"I have spent the last 6 years chasing my own tail. I started to believe I was like an old dog chasing cars, (I wouldn't know what to do if I caught one!).
"I tried all the old standby's, the internet, the personals, a dating service (That one hurt, my only date turned out to be married, none of the others responded) Thats when I started my search. and I am very proud and happy to say Carlos THANKS!
"And the truth shall set you free! ... Awesome reads, all of them. Thanks again!"
- S.C.
QUESTION:
Something that's been bugging me. �You're right when you say that women can smell an agenda a mile away. �This is especially true in New York, where these dating-savvy women have been around the block, even the young ones. �
But come on, we all have an agenda, that's what drives us to consume your e-books/audiobooks/podcasts in the first place. �I feel like lately I've let my guard down and have been carrying around my agenda like some nasty B.O. �But I'm not exactly sure how I'm doing it. �Some of it can be probably be chalked up to overt things like impatience...but I wonder if there's more going on.
What are the best exercises to sharpen up my game so I'm not giving off this vibe?
-P.B.
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CARLOS:
There's a big difference between having a goal for your game, and reeking of agenda.
The thing I find in common with a lot of men and women is that we get caught up in wanting the ultimate goal rather than the best first step to that goal.
I get emails from guys all the time that are too centered around getting laid, when they should be looking to master the initial steps of approaching more women. This then translates into more interaction, more social skills, more game, more dates, and more sex.
It's a cliche, but you have to learn how to walk before you can run, no matter what the other well-meaning advisors out there would like to have you believe.
Impatience is another scent that women can pick up on you. It's one thing to have the goal and direction you want to go in, and quite another to be in the biggest damn hurry to get there. That's probably a woman's #1 turn-off.�
In fact, if I were to credit one thing I did that helped with my mastery in this field, it was to work on my patience. When it became clear to women that I could wait a long time for sex, they suddenly seemed much more interested in it. It's the abundance mentality that I talk about so much. This attitude communicates that you already have plenty, and that implies that you must have something special enough to get you that plenty.
So how do you work on this part of your game?
Well, first, I trust that you're subscribed to the Advanced Audio Coaching. That program is built around the REALity that you need constant reinforcement to develop a new skill. You don't just go out one night, try some new techniques, and become an instant sex god. Every month I give you exercises and information to work on this game.
The one thing I can recommend right now is that you work on this sense of abundance.
I'd love to just tell you to stop being needy, but the reality is that neediness (even if it's only for a better attitude) first comes from LETTING GO.
It's not necessarily an active process, meaning that sometimes NOT doing is a good idea.
But if you want to do something, I'd start by increasing your sense of abundance by creating a list of GOT.
As in, I GOT all this...
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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It's basically a list of all the things you HAVE in life as opposed to don't have.
Studies have shown that the happiest, most secure people in the world all have one thing in common - a sense of GRATITUDE. And that's hard to come by in a world that wants you to feel inadequate so you'll buy more and more of the stuff they make.
Let's face it, Capitalism is based on the need to consume. You're inadequate. You need plastic surgery. You need more STUFF.
You're not enough.
You won't consume as much if you feel fulfilled, will you?
I'm not getting all political on you, but let's realize that everyone - even your society - has agendas. The point is to recognize and adopt the ones that SERVE you - not make you serve another.
Make a list of all you have, and then really meditate on it for a while. The more you appreciate what you've got, the more you'll feel adequate when you meet women. And that will translate into a truly ALPHA vibe with her.
QUESTION:
Hey mate,
I've got an interesting situation for you. Please help me out. I'm gonna get straight to the point.
I've been trying your stuff on this girl and it works like magic. Every word you said is right. Although she's very friendly to every one, I can sort of� tell that she's at least a little interested in me because of her body signals. I make her laugh every time, she calls me and pops by my place a few times, she leans her head on my shoulder while watching movies, we even cuddle a bit on the bed while watching movies (although nothing else happens).
One night I decided to ask her whether she would go out with me, but she said she didn't know. What's that mean? Apparently she has never got a boyfriend before and she said she is really shy. I figured maybe she's just scared to go to the next level because she hasn't had experience before and wouldn't know what to do.
Am I assuming wrong? Nevertheless, she still slept over my place that same night (nothing happened, just a bit of cuddling). And she still seems pretty comfortable with me.
The thing is I've got another friend who is interested in her, and she seems really friendly to him too (but I don't think she cuddles with him in bed too). So there is some competition. What should I do now? Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? I don't want to lose her and fall into the friend zone.
Cheers,
from down under
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CARLOS:
It's always great to hear from the guys down under. But no Vegamite for me, dude.
And someday soon I'm going to get a seminar out there for you guys...
And I'm always happy when you're willing to open your mind and unlearn some of the bad programming that gets into guys' heads these days. If you're using this material and learning how powerful it is, you're already on the path, Neo.
Congratulations.
What has me DEEPLY concerned is this whole "cuddling" thing, and the "nothing happens" thing.
This is cause for alarm. I want to help you take care of this now, while you have the ability to change and pull it together.
Let me tackle the "nothing happens" part right away.
If nothing is happening, it's because YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT HAPPEN.
It's up to the guy to act and escalate things with a woman. Not to sit back and complain that nothing is happening. He must be the one to risk rejection.... and success.
I know we all wish this were different, but it's how a woman knows you're the kind of guy that can make something HAPPEN when it's time.
What if you two were on the street together and some guy came up and gave her a hard time?
WWYD?
(What would you do?)
Would you wait for something to 'happen'? Or would you MAKE it happen?
I think the latter. And that's what she wants from you. Proof to her instinctual and primal needs for protection and security.
If you're too timid to go for a kiss or advance on her, just imagine what might happen when things get REALLY tough.
Now the "cuddling" thing I've addressed before...
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If you're cuddling with her, you're telling her it's okay to use you as a little emotional teddy bear, and she can now safely expect NOTHING to happen with you.
Cuddling is how you show affection, but it's also Nice Guy behavior that makes it appear as if you have no balls to make it go further. Save your cuddling for after the make out session. Cuddling gets old, even to a woman, when you don't ESCALATE.
Cuddling is for AFTER. Pre-cuddling is Pre-mature.
Make sense?
As for this other guy, well you only need to worry about your competition if you aren't getting anywhere.
Uh...
Hmmm.
Stay out of her head. Just be thoughtful, don't mistreat her, but recognize that being too "nice" is going to be the worst thing for you both.
Somebody is going to be her first REAL boyfriend. If you get moving, it could be you.
Or... not.
Either way, you should start getting the results you deserve.
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll "Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe they're the same things?)
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
You can get it here:
/dating-advice.htm
Wouldn't it be great if you could go into this weekend knowing that you could go anywhere and get hooked up with any woman you want?
You can get this kind of understanding RIGHT NOW. Head on over to /dating-advice.htm and get your dating life under YOUR control.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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These emails give you some players advice, but you still need to understand the rules of the game.
Do you know why Inner Game is ESSENTIAL to your success?
Do you want to learn what it is that most guys are missing in their ability to at tract ladies into their life?
This is what the other guys are using, and if you don't start learning the principles of how to create attraction, you're losing ground every day you wait.
Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down approach strategies are exactly what my Approach Women Program will teach you.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify the right behaviors so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Another failed date? Another $50 or more blown on a woman that really wasn't into me?
The Approach Program gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com/approach/
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos Xuma
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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