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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 3:40 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Hi Carlos,
Thanks for your interesting newsletters. But I have to tell you, if I followed up on every time you suggested a long and detailed course of action or study (e.g. a recent letter advised signing up for a martial arts class), I'd have no time for women.
Fact is, I get female company and get laid when I spend time around females, and whenever I think I have to "do something else first" whether it is self improvement or making money or some hobby or whatever, the female buzz tapers off.
Yeah, sure, it doesn't pay to be a loser who's hanging around seven days a week and has no other life.
One would get the impression from reading your letters that getting women is very complicated, and this is not enough. But I study the guys who are successful with the type of women I want, and frankly they are not this way.
The number one characteristic they have is that they are available when the women want them. Two I'm thinking of are so available they are unemployed. One has an inheritance, the other at 28 lives with his parents.
Neither is any kind of alpha male. A third recently got himself dumped because he wanted to spend time with his friends.
The guys I know who get laid a lot? They simply hang around women ALL of the time and basically have no other hobbies or interests. They are there and available when one of the women decides she is ready, and when she grabs the first acceptable man she sees he is it.
The only exception I can make to my observation is a guy whose hobby involves spending time around women with the opportunity to talk with them extensively.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, hanging around where taking is awkward won't work. The gym is not so good, for example. Some type of social atmosphere is best.
Anyway, the guy I'm thinking of is a tennis coach. He scores with the women he coaches. He also happens to be a liar and a cheat (he's married) and is not a good role model. He isn't happy with his affairs particulary, he's never given the impression that he is.
For me, then, the problem is not what to do when I am around women. It is finding activities and places where I am with the type of women I enjoy, and have the opportunity to talk with them. As I get older, I find I have less and less in common with women my age. Perhaps just a life cycle thing, because they are into grandkids (I'm 54) and I've never even had children.
I'm not hung up on younger women necessarily. I just enjoyed dating older more experienced ones when I was younger, perhaps now I think a mistake.
Have you scored with a gal 30 years younger? What kind of girl was she, what did she look and act like, and how did you meet her? I think a personal story would be useful. I learn more from them than abstract advice. Hope you have one for me.
Thanks!
R
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CARLOS SEES ANOTHER REALITY
Dude, if I scored with a girl 30 years younger than me, I'd be in jail. But I've easily done 10 years younger. And you can, too.
I met a gal at a wedding rehearsal for my friend. I was paired up with a cute brown-haired gal with a sweet smile and a really happening pooper. (That's her butt, by the way.)
I walked the aisle a few times with her (which is all a woman needs to have a joy-gasm when she's never been married herself.) She was 21 and a virg!n.
I met her again at the reception, and danced once with her. I proceeded to spend about 2 more hours DOING MY OWN THING at the wedding and having fun on my own.
That night I had a message on my answering machine from her, telling me what a great time she had, blah blah...
Now that's all the story you get, because the rest of it would make you a dirty old man for reading it.
I chose this letter from my mailbox because there are a lot of misunderstandings in it, and a lot that I'm sure other guys out there are still making. It's mostly because he hasn't got my e-book, but I'll forgive that for a moment.
I don't want to come across as nasty here, but I want to be clear that I'm completely behind the advice I give in the newsletters. I believe what I'm doing is important for men, and that's why I do it.
First of all, getting women and getting laid is NOT that complicated. I don't make it sound that way... you do.
It's not complicated at all, if you have the right attitude.
Unfortunately, most guys are MAKING it complicated by handing all their male power over to women.
I can sum it up in one sentence for you: If you want to get a woman, act like a MAN.
A REAL effing Man.
And as overly simplistic as this may sound, there is a severe shortage of men out there who act like men. Seriously, ask a good woman friend what they think about the lack of masculinity out there.
Men have been fooled by a mass media that empowers women to think they own us by the short hairs, and that men have no worth. We're dogs. We're rapists. We start wars. We're violent. We're immature.
The list goes on and on.
Second, you said that if you did the things I coach you on, you'd have no time to meet women...
That's a tall, dark stinky pile of cow excrement.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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You can take a martial arts class ONCE a week and get the benefits. (That's what I did for 3 years, so I know this from experience.) You're obviously reading what I'm saying and taking it to an extreme. I'm giving you guys OPTIONS for activities. For gosh sake, you can't do it all. But some of it might help you.
And, funny enough, the gym is actually pretty good ... if you know HOW to do it. I had a friend this week telling me about the number he got from a girl at the gym. This is the norm, not the exception.
You quote a few examples of guys here, but they're pretty lame. (And, frankly, I want to suggest that you start hanging around a group of REAL guys instead. All I smell here is estrogen.)
A guy with an inheritance? C'mon, about one guy in a thousand has that situation. Or that kind of time to kill. He can sit at home and play Nintendo while accomplishing NOTHING with his life. Wonderful. Next.
The guy that got dumped because he wanted to spend time with his friends?
1) Good for him! If she dumped him for wanting a social life, she wouldn't have been there for him when he needed her. He's better off with his friends any day of the week. Good riddance. Seriously, I'm overjoyed for him.
2) What do you call a life where you can't spend time with your friends but she lets you think you're going to get nookie once a week in return for your spineless sacrifice?
ANSWER: Hell.
Count me out, man. Let her whip some other guy into buying her tampons.
Yeah, that's the kind of woman we all want. Sign me up.
And the tennis coach example just goes to prove my point. Never do I say or write that a man should sacrifice his HONOR to get a piece of tail.
Of course the Tennis coach is unhappy. He's a turd. He's getting what he deserves.
Now, these guys you talk about ...
They hang around women ALL the time?
They're available for women ALL the time?
I don't buy it.
Not that they're not making themselves available, but they're A) not as available as you think, and B) not as successful as you imagine.
Frankly, any woman that I have to be at her beck and call to get jiggy with is out to own me, and I'm nobody's b*tch, brother.
Every single guy I know who is successful with women has a shortage of time, and they STILL get laid. I've only got about 9 hours of evening time available for women (on only two nights of the week), and I'm, uhm... "seeing" TWO women currently.
The only time you have to be at a woman's beck and call is when you have no balls to tell her you DO have a life of your own.
Just because you and these guys hang around women your whole lives doesn't mean you're successful with women, it just means you're sacrificing your lives. You're paying the highest price imaginable just to get some.
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And it actually sounds like you're waiting around long enough for the women you want to get desperate enough to want you.
I don't want to be some woman's last choice, or wait until she's lowered her standards enough. C'mon, that sounds so degrading.
You bring up a valid point - Can you just hang around women all the time and get some?
Yeah, sure. Spending time around women is necessary, especially if you want to learn more about the intricacies of male/female interaction.
But there's a saying: Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
If you stand on the court for 4 hours and throw a basketball at the hoop, with NO SKILL whatsoever, of COURSE you'll eventually make a few baskets. That's called the law of OVERKILL and blind persistence.
But if you want to go in and play a real game hoops for just a few minutes and stand a chance of winning a real game, you need to learn the SKILLS necessary.
These guys are getting laid by DEFAULT, not by talent or ability. If I bought enough lottery tickets, I'd eventually win. But who has the time or cash? You see what I'm saying?
Time is your LIFE, my brother. Don't spend it too casually. You can never earn it back again.
And the best thing I can tell you is this:
If you know what you're doing, HOW to play the game, as you will once you read my e-books or learn from my Alpha Man CD program, you won't have to spend ALL your waking hours around women.
You bring up another valid question: Do non-Alpha Men get laid?
Sure, they do. But not consistently, and usually not with the women they REALLY want. They're usually settling for what they can get.
And "pickup lines?" What, are we still in the 70's?
Pickup lines don't work, as any guy who's read my e-books knows (ahem). But there is a way to attract women that neither compromises your life or your dignity.. or your precious time.
The fact is that I get this all the time. A letter from a guy that can point out a million reasons why this or that won't work, but HASN'T TRIED IT HIMSELF TO SEE IF IT DOES.
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These are called "naysayers" in our world. And, frankly, I have no time for it. I do appreciate that you're confused and want some direction, and I'm glad you asked me about this apparent inconsistency. But it's not because I'm wrong; it's because these guys you know don't know a better way.
Why hang around waiting just hoping you'll be picked?
Why not be the one DOING the picking?
Why not learn how to CREATE attraction instead of accumulating hours on her timecard?
The reality is that there are a few definite skills that you need to develop to win over the hot women you see every day. Not a ton of tricks, or magic hypnosis phrases, just a few core skills.
They're not complicated, either.
I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. If you're reading this and thinking that you'd like to learn more about how the REAL players get the women, you can download the information right away.
If you want to get that kind of understanding and control over your love life, you need to read my e-book. And you can get the benefits of my best e-books, RISK FREE for the next 90 days.
Get my books, the audio, read them and hear me explain the strategies, and then put it to work for you right away.
I wrote them in a simple, easy-to-use format that ANYONE can learn. Nothing is complicated, and there's no dumb hypnosis routines to learn. Just the stuff that will help YOU get more success with women.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK - This e-book set covers the dating scene, from meeting women, to your best attitude, to strategies, to how to touch women, to driving up their attraction, to dumping them when you need to move on. Looking for a woman? This book shows you the BIG picture.
Put this link in your browser to download it (you may have to put www. in front of it): datingdynamics.com
SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too. Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.
Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set (you may have to put www. in front of it): alphaseduction.com
ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.
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CONTINUED...
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Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!
Put this link in your browser to check it out (you may have to put "w w w" in front of it): datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm
There are dozens of guys out there trying to pull in a fast buck selling you their books on fast seduction and the like. And some of them are decent quality books. But a LOT of them are just a waste of time. I think you guys can tell I'm not pulling your leg here.
I'm in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.
Is there ANYTHING more important?
Remember life is too short, and death is too long.
Don't wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.
Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
This is the year for you to get successful with women!
- Carlos
To read all the reviews and download the books and audio, go here:
alphaseduction.com
datingdynamics.com
seductionmethod.com
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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