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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 2:10 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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I've been following the steps to overcome my approach anxiety the past 3 months and think I have been doing OK.
Granted it took me some time to get going but in the past few weeks I have been approaching women I find attractive and been trying to get numbers. I have been striking in out in that the one's I am interested in already in a relationship.
But I am approaching and am trying to approach 1 more woman each week. However after each "rejection" (use that terms loosley since I really wasn't rejected) I keep thinking about my ex. We were together for 6 yrs., broke up over Thanksgiving and haven't had contact since.
The more I think about it the more I realize I lost 6 years of my life and start to get frustrated/anger/depressed. I just keep picturing her with someone else and for some reason can't get that out of my head. I keep telling myself from one of your podcasts that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong women and after 3 months I've come to realize she was wrong for me.
I guess I just need a boost but what can I do to overcome this?
B
CARLOS: I hear you on this, brother. I've been haunted before. First off, you have to recognize that your neural pathways (AKA, your brain) got conditioned to her. It's not going to pass overnight. You're haunted. So you wanna get un-haunted?
B, I have to call them like I see them. I'm a straight shooter, and I have to tell you that you're not REALLY believing what you're telling me about rejection not being rejection. I can hear it in your tone of email. (Yes, I can read between the lines.)
You see, RATIONALLY you know that you shouldn't think of being turned down this way as rejection, but your HEART denies it. You don't believe it because your self-esteem and self-image are pretty poor right now. Lower than a snake's belly. After 6 years of being bonded with this broad, you gotta find ways to re-validate yourself.
No, this isn't some touchy-feely new age notion. You need to get out there and feel good about NOT having a woman before you're going to feel good enough to get one. Remember my saying: You're better off single than with the wrong person.
I'd start using that vivid imagination you're currently using to picture her with someone else and start imagining YOURSELF with someone else. You see, you need to get your own thinking under control, amigo. The most important skill you will ever learn in the area of Dating and At traction (and maybe life) is how to control your thinking.
ABSOLUTELY.
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So it's time for you to start using that imagination to HELP you instead of hurt you.
Who do you blame when you punch yourself in the face?
Do you blame the guy that said "Hey, punch yourself in the face!"
Uh, no. YOU are the one doing this, so YOU need to take responsibility.
No more excuses. When those thoughts come up, BREAK THEM.
Yell out "Stop!" as loud as you can in your thoughts. Start taking control of your own thinking. It's time for you to Get Alpha NOW.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I saw this on another blog recently and I thought you should read this, too.
Many of you are aware that I'm no stranger to pop culture and media, but I hate broadcast television in almost all its forms. I'll watch television shows, but only after they've been released on DVD. I HATE commercials and the insidious way that television controls our society.
Hate may sound powerful, but it's damn close to that.
Not to mention, Television just stops you from living a REAL life. Unplug and achieve your own goals, not live vicariously through other imagined events.
Get out there and use this time to create the relationship YOU want in life, without other people telling you how to live your life...
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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Anyway, here are some observations you might want to consider:
I conclude that television is an extremely effective and powerful way of controlling, manipulating, and distracting the American people. It works in three very basic and obvious ways:
1. Making you the passive observer of current events.
When you watch television, you become a passive observer of news. When this happens, your cognitive processes slow down, and you absorb information before you have a chance to process it. In this way, television makes your brain a soft and squishy sponge, perfectly willing to internalize all the misinformation that is propagated to further somebody else's agenda. When you become an active seeker of news (as you are when you browse websites, read newspapers, or talk to other people) you are more likely to question and analyze the content before believing that it is true. If your co-worker tells you that the guy in the next cubicle is stashing weapons of mass destruction under his desk, you are likely to ask for proof; but if a TV news anchor tells you something similar, you will probably go on thinking that it is true.
2. Making you a consumerist whore.
Even if you turn your set off during commercials, you are still constantly being bombarded with advertisements on a very subconscious level. You can't buy the things that you need to make your life better, but television is extremely successful at convincing you of the exact opposite. Your husband will not love you more if you cut your hair like Jennifer Anniston, there is no difference between a Hyundai and a Mercedes, and there is nothing in the world that will make you look like an underwear model.
3. Distracting you from the real problems.
Television is able to distract you from the real problems (in your life, in the world) by either presenting you with irrelevant and superficial problems that will divert your focus, or by providing enough instant gratification to make you forget about your drab and wretched life. Someone on television tells you that two guys in San Francisco want to get married, and you are so distracted by this attack on your ideals that you conveniently forget that there is a war, in which many innocent people are dying. Or you spend your evenings watching attractive people doing exciting things, and this escapism prevents you from facing reality and making positive changes in your own life. (By the way, there is nothing wrong with seeking entertainment, but television creates a routine of dependency that inadvertently results in a state of false complacency).
- Just a thought or two for you guys who may be addicted to this medium. If you want to know the Alpha Man solution, here's mine: I got a Netflix membership. I wait for the good stuff to come out on DVD, and then I can watch things when *I* want to, and without commercials.
Makes sense to me...
WILL THE "GAME" BUST YOURS?
QUESTION:
Well, I just have a question that I've been pondering for some time. I recently purchased Neil Strauss's "The Game", and I find it to be amazingly fascinating. It has opened my eyes to the world of pickup dramatically and givin me a new outlook on the whole "Game".
My question though is it seems like all the beans have been spilled and it just seems like now that the book is being exposed to the public and the pickup community is getting bigger by day, that all this stuff will be useless after some time.
I mean what's your take on this Carlos? And do you think this book is good for the pickup community or not? P. S - Its amazing the amount of dedication and time Neil spent going after his goal of becoming the best PUA today, I never knew it takes that much hard work to be that good in the game. This book has opened my eyes quite alot.
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CARLOS:
Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. In other words, if you think it will be bad, you'll create the evidence (and the reality) that it is, in fact, bad. If you believe it will be good, it will be good. What I think will happen is this:
- Some guys will read it and think, "Wow. Great stuff. Now if I could just do this... but wait a second! Every guy out there is going to be doing this! I'm too late to do this."
And they completely miss the train because they were LOOKING for an excuse to not do anything. These are the guys that don't get much accomplished in their life because they're addicted to their struggle. Adios.
- Some guys will read this and over-use the word-for-word approaches and strategies. BIG MISTAKE. Because some guys already are doing this, and yes they are getting blown out like never before.
And they DESERVE to.
Mindlessly reciting lines you read in a book is the hallmark of a lazy mind. At least have the originality to recycle this material into a more original way, something that doesn't sound like what everyone else is using.
- Some guys will read this stuff and have the sense to tailor it to their own style. Because, to answer your question, the principles are the most important part, and they will not change.
What works, will work. Techniques come and go, but PRINCIPLES last.
You'll just have to recycle it and do it more AUTHENTICALLY. (Part of my new R.E.A.L. Game, by the way.)
Look, everyone out there knows that if you eat right and exercise, you will be healthy. You'll lose weight. It's known, right? But still, most people don't do it.
Why?
LAZINESS.
I could hand someone the deed to a diamond mine and they'd stay poor because they don't understand how to motivate themselves to unlock this power. They wouldn't be able to find the energy to dig for the diamonds. Good for the guys that use this information and understand how it works.
This is what I mean when I say you've got to be relentless about this stuff. Life will give you more than enough opportunity to cop out with some lame excuse about why this 'isn't you' or you 'can't do this.'
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Excuses are a dime a dozen.
Alpha Men are one in a million.
I assure you success if you do what I recommend, and follow the simple strategies I've got for you.
If you want to REALLY learn how to increase your self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall self-image, you need to take a look at the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I wrote the book on this subject of Alpha Men (literally and figuratively) and now I want you guys to reap the benefits.
In this book, I reveal the secret that most guys out there (especially "pick up artists") don't realize.
Really, do you want to go any further without this knowledge?
This is what the other guys are using, and if you don't start learning the principles of how to create attraction, you're losing ground every day you wait.
Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down strategies are exactly what my Alpha Man Program will teach you.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these"Alpha" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better.
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Get understanding so that you can make 2006 the year you took care of yourself and started being really successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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