The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Friday, 11:30 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

FAR, FAR and AWAY

I got a membership to that DVD rental service where you get your selections mailed to you, and I've been watching a lot of movies, catching up on the classics. A lot of guy movies, like "The Dirty Dozen", "Where Eagles Dare", "The Majestic Seven", and others.

I happened to put down "Far and Away" as a title, and it came up recently. Now, a lot of you are going to chuckle at that. A silly Tom Cruise/ Nicole Kidman romance.

But, you know, it was actually pretty watchable.

Not incredibly deep as far as a story goes, but it was nice to watch. Well-produced.

And there was something I noticed about it that you ought to look at. Tom Cruise makes both the "chump" error and the "champ" corrections in the course of the movie.

Let's review them:

At first, Tom tells Nicole when she asks him if she's beautiful that "he's never seen anything like her, she basically says, "Good" and turns away from him. You can see the look in his eyes as he's saying to himself, "What the hell happened? I told her she was beautiful, and she rolled over and went to sleep. Isn't that what she wanted?"

Classic mistake when dealing with beautiful women. Never compliment their beauty before you've got them hooked. It has ZERO affect.

Later, Tom is getting some booty attention from the women at the place where he fights, and from the whores that live in his boarding house. Nicole gets bratty and jealous, acting as if she's pissed at him, but really she's just wishing she could act on her attraction. This establishes Tom as desirable by other women, jacking up her attraction even further.

Later on, Tom gets in an argument with Nicole and he throws her in a tub full of water, putting her in her place. You can see the meek manner in which she realizes how she was acting like a bitch.

She's the classical bratty beautiful woman, and Tom learns how to dominate her in the right way. All through the movie, in fact, she behaves in the classic mode of the spoiled beautiful woman who has had every man just fall at her feet.

Note how turned on she becomes when Tom fights - and especially when he fights for her.

Check this movie out sometime as part of your homework. You'll find a bunch of classical behavior patterns in here to learn from.

QUESTION:

Carlos-

I won't drag out scenarios like most have done. I'll just get to the problem. And that's closing. I don't really have a problem talking to them, making eye contact, the occasional "appropriate" touching, or any of the things that you have suggested. I always thought that with my shy personality, I couldn't just walk up to a woman at a bar and start talking to her.

That is until I just tried it, and got great responses out it. But that is obvioulsy a very, very, very, small part of the game. I have gotten better with the conversations and sparking interest, which obviously gets better the more times you do it (who knew?), but it is the "ABC" part of it that I am having trouble with. The "ABC" slogan of "Always Be Closing" that is. I seem to set 'em up alot, but I either walk out empty handed, or my friends "knock" 'em down and leave with a fist full of ass.

Hope you can help.

-idle hands

CARLOS:

Great question. Obviously we know that "A fist full of ass" isn't a movie starring Clint Eastwood.

I will say that meeting women and talking to them to eventually spark interest is actually a very BIG part of the game, especially for those guys out there who are still struggling with it.

As you've also figured out, you have to be able to "close the deal" as they say in sales. Once you've led her down the path to seduction, you better have a destination in mind.

The problem here sounds like it's coming from your transitions. (Reference the bonus e-book on "Transitions" that comes with The Dating Black Book. And if you DON'T have it and think you can short-cut to success without it, Silly Rabbit! You're kidding yourself.

Get it HERE: /ebookstore.htm )

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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...

When going from one stepping stone to the next, you have to pace yourself correctly (the "when"), as well as know where and how to step. Just like I cover in the book, the river of seduction runs fast, and if you slip, you'll be carried downstream faster than you can say "frustrated chump."

You have to establish your footing at each one of the points I covered in the book, from meeting and talking, to getting the next meeting, to making out, etc. It's a progression.

Now, many guys try to condense this progression into one night, and this can be done with many women, but your game has to be TIGHT.

AIR-tight, my friends.

You have to be able to really turn up their buying temperature on a dime and act on it when the time is right. Some nights you'll find a few women you can get somewhere with, but other times you'll find yourself in what seems to be a hostile environment. Women who aren't responding, or guys who are blocking your every move.

You see, most women will not sleep with a guy on the first night. And it has nothing to do with looks or money.

They have something called an "Anti-slut defense," or ASD in seduction lingo. It's what comes up in her head if she thinks she's being TOO naughty TOO fast.

I preach that guys should not go for the one-night seductions, even though there are a lot of women out there willing to indulge as well. Why? Because you will ultimately get much more success with the women you can meet up with multiple times over a slightly longer period of time. If you stack these attempts up, you will net a much bigger success rate than if you put all your effort in one-at-a-time.

What you can use to your advantage (and MUST) is social proof. Many of the women you may be getting with would respond better if you weren't as much of a "stranger" as you usually are when you first meet up with a woman. You need to move around the club with many women, then come back to others to provide some proof to the women you want that you're socially and sexually desirable. (Remember: Women want what other women want.)

Here's a thought: If your friends are "knocking them down," perhaps you should give up a night of results and observe and learn from them instead. Watch what's going on and pick up on the subtleties. See if you can see what's different in their tactics as compared to yours. Humility is the first step to mastery.

Also, step back and gauge yourself. In the progress of a seduction, you will know if you have rapport with a woman. And you need to have almost MAGICAL rapport to go as far as you might want to. As a matter of fact, you might need a little real magic along the way. I suggest using magic tricks as a method of establishing yourself in a romantic and powerful role, as well as palmistry and cold reading.

You've got to create a highly charged, romantic, seductive atmosphere about you.

Don't forget about isolation and the power of getting her alone. You eventually need to separate her from her friends to get her in an environment where you two can get even more intimate. This requires a few strategies as well.

A lot of problems I cannot diagnose by your general description, but in a way this allows me to address the larger population out there that also have this problem.

There are a lot of guys who get out on the track, get a good running start, make their way through the race, but stumble over the last few hurdles with the finish line in sight. And it's not because they're unattractive to women - it's because they haven't got a strategy for getting the women they want.

What you need to use is your own seduction strategy so that you can learn how to handle these situations and avoid tripping over those hurdles.

That's why I researched this topic for years before I finally wrote the e-book on this subject. I go into gory detail about this and the underlying psychology of dating, posture, attitude ... the A-Z of dating and the male-female dynamic, in my e-book The Dating Black Book.

Really, do you want to go through 2004 without this powerful knowledge? Do you want ANOTHER year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?

It's almost April already. How much better are you than when the year started?

The year is 1/4 over. Pretty soon it will be half over.

Time flies, and before you know it, you're worried that you'll be 40 and unmarried. (Contrary to popular belief, women aren't the only ones who want to get into a relationship, though guys do it for other reasons.)

How have you improved? How has your game gotten better?

Are you still hoping to "get lucky"?

Take "luck" out of the equation. When a person says "luck" they really mean "I want to do as little work as possible and still keep a faint hope of getting what I want." This is the lottery mentality.

Instead of hoping for luck, why not MAKE OPPORTUNITY for yourself?

You see, I believe that EVERY man deserves to have a woman by his side ... and three or four if he so desires. I've devoted my life to helping people and training them for more and better success.

I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.

Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?

Seize this opportunity. It's time to start WINNING.

Ask yourself:

Wouldn't it be great to learn how women REALLY think and work?

Wouldn't it be fantastic to finally put aside your fears of them once and for all? Approach women anywhere and anytime?

The cure for this kind of fear is the TRUTH.

(Remember: FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real.)

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK. You need to download it from here.
/ebookstore.htm

CONTINUED...

______________________

You'll get answers to questions like:

... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another girlfriend?
... How do you meet MORE hot women?
... How do you get them attracted to you right from the start?
... How do you stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?

Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 7 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit...

Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - firsthand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.

" Every audio session is better than the preceding! Session 6 is FULL PACKED of invaluable information, and it's incredible when I think that all this only costs you a few bucks while I've spent so many dollars on other sites so far without learning nothing sensible and workable. Thank you again, Carlos!" - M in Italy

The monthly audio series is OVER 100 MINUTES of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download here:
/audioprog.htm

-Carlos

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

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