The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Friday, 7:00 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

QUESTION:

hi

here's my situation. I hope u can help me.

there is this beautiful girl in my office. First when I came here she was very attracted to me. Few days later we were kissing and stuff. When these things happened I didn't even talk to her that much.

but called her on the phone and sms her.

and I think she also had a thing with another guy in the office. but I didn't care.

after awhile she stopped these things and started to go out with this other office guy. so I stopped calling and sms her. She now goes to his house everynight. everyone knows they are together. They even talk to me about their relationship and that makes me sad. I do a lot of teasing now but it still isn't having any affect or maybe it does and I dont know about it.

She has dated a lot of guys.she flirts with every guy. You can say she's a bitch. deserves it i guess. sad thing is I still want her even though she's like that. she know's I go to other woman and i never call her anymore except for office stuff.

so can u help me win her back some how.

CARLOS:

Win her back.

Hmm...

You still want her, even though you think she's a bitch.

Hmmm....

Do you smell what I smell? That odor... it's so familiar... it's like...

WIMP.

Look, dude - this woman is in a relationship now. It doesn't sound like she's going to be interested in you anytime soon until she's lost her interest in him.

Honestly, you had your shot. If you had my book back then, you'd have had a chance, but it's a little too late right now. It sounds like you're hung up on her, but it's time to GET OVER IT.

We're programmed to want what we can't have. It's human nature.

But that doesn't mean it's good for you.

You'd spend months of effort on this woman only to lose your self-esteem in the process.

Don't get caught up in that Hollywood myth about "winning" a woman back from another relationship. Once a woman drops a guy, she pretty much cuts herself off from going back to that well again.

What makes her so special?

Really ask yourself that question. I think we both know the real answer, too.

Nothing beyond the fact that you can't have her, so "everything she does is magic," as the Police say (that's the 80s group, by the way. Not the local law enforcement).

Go meet NEW women. Right now. Get out of this old train of thought. You're stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out, so all you can do is wander around the house and worry about how to "win this one back."

Why? Life is too short to waste it on women who aren't in a buying mood.

QUESTION:

I was at this party once it was FULL of women. One was very beautiful, so much in fact she had almost every guy around her trying to hit on. I could tell they where all really pathetic butt kissers... and naturally I knew she was just going to blow them off for acting like such chumps, and she did.

(At this point I should tell you all these guys are a lot better looking than me)

I thought that if paying a lot of attention to her and bowing down to her every order would ruin any attraction she could have for me I would do the opposite instead to get her attracted.

It worked!

I talked to everyone at that party INSTEAD of her. I almost completely ignored her. I could tell she was starting to get frustrated since I was the only guy not after her.

Finally SHE decided to make a move.

We where on complete opposite sides of the room when she walked across and asked me if I could get her some a glass of punch (The punch bowl being on the side she walked away from).

I took this as a test to see if I'd give up my manhood just to her obey her pretty face and said

" You don't look like a princess to me. Get it yourself" With a small smile.

I could tell her face turn from normal to shock, then to a cocky grin.

" Im sorry to tell you this, but this isn't a GAY party"

I started to laugh, I couldn't help but to find what she just said funny.

" And im sorry to tell YOU that im not gay... Im... Just... not attracted to you... sorry!"

(Ever seen the shock of a deer caught in the head lights? The shock on her face was 10x bigger at that moment.)

CONTINUED...

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Ok, so I lied to her... Anyone who acts that cocky and selfish deserves to hear that.

She went back to the crowd of guys worshipping her feet and they all told her how pretty she was and such, they only thing she could say back was the fact I wasn't attracted her her. She said it was ok and that she liked me other than all them.

Later there was a moment where it was just me and her in the room. I walked up to her and said I felt a little guilty for saying such a thing in front of a lot of people and that I hoped she wasn't too disappointed.

We talked for awhile and she decided to give me her phone number, I said that if I could find the time I might give her a call but I thought it was best she gave me a call instead, so she got my number too and said she would LOVE to call me two days later.

Then, she kissed me.

I pulled back and said "okay, thats enuff now"

I thought that if I kissed her too much power I'd be like those other guys who bow to her feet.

She got that cocky look again and said.

" Now that I think about it, I'll wipe the floor with you. When im done i'll be sure to wipe you off my shoe"

I laughed at another pathetic phrase of hers yet again. Harder this time.

Me: "What are you talking about? I already told you, I'm not attracted to you like that..."

Her: "We already went over that!"

Me: "So, mind explaining to me how you can "wipe the floor with me then?"

Her: (Look of deer facing head lights)

Me: "Are you saying you want me to be a butt kisser? Sorry, I don't work that way"

Her: "I hate it when guys are like that"

Me: "Then, whats the problem?"

Her: (Socked look, yet again)

Me: (laughs) By the way, you got a little piece of snot hanging out of your nose.

I walked away.....

What the heck went on!?

Did I mess up?

Or was she as psycho as I thought she was?

Could I have done a better approach to this problem?

ANSWER:

OKAY! Now you're talking, dude.

I think you get it.

And you don't even realize that you get it. But that's okay. We'll work with this.

By "it" I mean that you understand how this game is really played with women. And you played it right.

Mostly.

First of all, you really got the game going with that banter. Excellent example of holding your own and keeping up that challenging talk.

I don't think she was psycho.

What I think happened here is that you may have pushed in too hard. It is possible to over-do it when it comes to your game.

Every so often, you have to soften her back up with just a little sweetness, just so she doesn't think you're coming off as an arrogant prick. (This is part of the push-pull technique I review in the next Audio Session.)

You see, a woman can still be pushed beyond her limits of sexual tension.

Sometimes the best alternative when using the teasing or "cocky/funny" routine is to back off and be silent for a while.

Not in a way that makes it look like she beat you, but in a way that says, "I'm not playing your game." YOU need to be the one to chuckle and walk away from her FIRST. She controlled the outcome by being the one to cut the interaction off first.

Sometimes SAYING "I'm not playing your game" is still really playing her game. Make sense?

If she can subtly gain some control by keeping you in a position of having to give her a comeback every five seconds, she's still manipulating you.

In the end, she probably felt that you were going to be too much of a challenge to make it satisfying for her. A lot of beautiful women thrive off the pleasure of controlling men and making us dance like puppets.

Sad but true. I'm not being bitter or mean, either. When there are so many guys who will kiss your ass and do what you want ... well, why not?

In the future, you might want to be wary that you can come across as almost TOO challenging for a woman. She has to be able to look at the situation and feel thrilled with the prospect of taking you on.

You see, what you were missing from the equation was HUMOR.

Funny.

Ha-ha.

Like you're put here to make her laugh. You're a clown, put here for her amusement.

(Sorry, that was a "Goodfellas" reference. All the guys out there should get that one.)

You do need to mix in a generous helping of humor to take the edge off every so often. Keep the sexual tension up, but the edge off. Remember from the e-book?

In this case, you could have thrown a few "pull" tactics in with your teases.

Say something like: "You know, we'd never be able to see each other. We're too different. Now, don't try to bat those beautiful eyes of yours at me to make me change my mind.

(*Pretend as though you're saddened.) Alas, it was not to be. What beautiful music we would have had with each other. (Then get serious, with a smirk.) Wanna go out on the deck and snog?"

Remember that just as much as being cocky, you do need to mix in a good dose of FUNNY. Teasing is only good if it's done with a humorous edge. (Remember the Three S's from the e-book.) Gotta keep her laughing, too.

You know, they really OUGHT to teach teasing like this in school, and how your mind can play these tricks on you, but it's just not "politically correct." I can assure you that "Women 101" will not be on your school schedule anytime soon.

That's why I wrote the e-book on this subject. I go into gory detail about this and the underlying psychology of dating, posture, attitude ... the A-Z of dating and the male-female dynamic, in my e-book The Dating Black Book.

Really, do you want to go through 2004 without this powerful knowledge? Do you want ANOTHER year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?

It's almost April already. How much better are you than when the year started?

The year is 1/4 over. Pretty soon it will be half over.

Time flies, and before you know it, you're worried that you'll be 40 and unmarried. (Contrary to popular belief, women aren't the only ones who want to get into a relationship, though guys do it for other reasons.)

How have you improved? How has your game gotten better?

Are you still hoping to "get lucky"?

Take "luck" out of the equation. When a person says "luck" they really mean "I want to do as little work as possible and still keep a faint hope of getting what I want." This is the lottery mentality.

Instead of hoping for luck, why not MAKE OPPORTUNITY for yourself?

CONTINUED...

______________________

You see, I believe that EVERY man deserves to have a woman by his side ... and three or four if he so desires. I've devoted my life to helping people and training them for more and better success.

I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.

Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?

Seize this opportunity. It's time to start WINNING.

Ask yourself:

Wouldn't it be great to learn how women REALLY think and work?

Wouldn't it be fantastic to finally put aside your fears of them once and for all? Approach women anywhere and anytime?

The cure for this kind of fear is the TRUTH.

(Remember: FEAR= False Evidence Appearing Real.)

Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.

And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.

I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK. You need to download it from here.
/ebookstore.htm

You'll get answers to questions like:

... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another girlfriend?
... How do you meet MORE hot women?
... How do you get them attracted to you right from the start?
... How do you stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?

Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 7 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit...

Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - firsthand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.

" Every audio session is better than the preceding! Session 6 is FULL PACKED of invaluable information, and it's incredible when I think that all this only costs you a few bucks while I've spent so many dollars on other sites so far without learning nothing sensible and workable. Thank you again, Carlos!" - M in Italy

The monthly audio series is OVER 100 MINUTES of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download here:
/audioprog.htm

-Carlos

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

It's all about your Inner Game...

Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW

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