The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...

Friday, 3:50 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...

QUESTION:

Carlos, I will see an American woman 20's to 40's in a supermarket or a store- say, Target, and they will be shopping- browsing- whatever! and I'll say 'Hey, my sister has shoes just like that.'

OR sometimes I will say 'Don't you work at such and such a firm- or whatever. I know this line is cliche but it doesnt feel strange to say it. And I will get a reponse ranging from some very shy "oh really," to "Who the phuck are you to come up and tell me something like that?- ask me something like that"

Either way, the majority just want to get the fuck out of there like "This is a very bizarre thing that a man would come up and say this to me.'

I am 36 yo. - white too- and I dress like you speak of in your book, and I look like I am a professional- I am not bald or weird looking, and I do not act like a goof.

I am normal in all respects. This is really hard shhit and I think that American women (Or American-born women) are assholes by and large because of this cultural -women with balls attitude- that is prevalent in USA today. Foreign women are much easier to approach-

But then again, I would love to go out with an American woman too- because there still are so many more of them that they are easier to find. I am not being pessimistic (I've read all the Nightingale- Napoleon Hill stuff about it too)- this is NOT in my mind only. I am sure that I can improve my odds with these American women, but I know they will always be more difficult.

There was one really cool American woman the other day when I asked her if she worked somewhere- she and I both were very relaxed and everything- then a minute later her boyfriend comes up to me and asks me if there's a problem! I didn't know! The asshole looked like he would fight me if I stayed around!

So why was she so nice to me? Because even if I was 'crazy' she was protected by her man- go figure! I really don't understand this shhit.

I had a friend who would look at chicks and get their number. No kidding. There is a LOT of resistance with cold solicitation of women. Sorry, but I am really trying!

CARLOS SMILES AND NODS:

First, yes, there are some issues with American women, and their attitude of entitlement and superiority.

AND it's spreading. I've been watching a lot of British shows lately to see what their perspective is on men and women. The show "Coupling" is an example that the "men are dogs and have to be put up with" attitude is spreading over to Europe. This masculine-izing of women is becoming global.

We have a new social environment to deal with. So deal with it.

That's my job here, to be your guide through these minefields.

You're not using the introduction the way it was meant. You should say something to the effect of "Hey, my sister has been looking for a pair of shoes like that. Where did you get those?"

Don't change my phrasing yet. It's tempting to make subtle changes, but they don't work the same. And make sure you end it with a soft and engaging question to give her a chance to respond.

Now, your problem in these situations is three-fold:

1) You're dealing with a VERY cold market, with NO pre-qualification.

Women do not like to be approached at random. So yes, it will be much more difficult to meet women this way.

You're taking the hardest path by choosing to work the cold market. If you've got a thick hide, stay in it.

But most guys don't. So you need to work the other avenues of meeting women at the same time, like online dating, friends, parties, etc.

You'll want to try to get an IOI from her before approaching. If you're doing a Dead Approach Cold, your success rate is going to be limited.

There are some subtleties that you're missing in the delivery of this line. I'm thinking you need to listen to my audio sessions for a better idea of how delivery of this goes.

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2) Your tone of frustration is obvious, even in email.

Whether you believe it or not, you're giving off waves of desperation and anger at your situation. You still haven't accepted things and learned to roll with it. (And your first clue will be if you read that and said, "But I AM accepting it!")

You're relying too heavily on this one method to meet women in the most difficult of situations, and you're doing it with an already frustrated attitude. Not a winning combination.

3) You're trying TOO hard. That's also obvious from the tone of your email.

Chill out. Relax. If you're not having fun with this, you'll never succeed. Take some time to review the e-book again, because you're missing some very important elements from it. Specifically, you're too results-oriented right now.

If you can't approach a woman without expectation, you'll have an agenda she can read a mile away. And THAT is why they're so stand-offish.

Oh, and that guy was insecure about his girl, and that's why he came in there aggressively. But his reaction isn't that hard to understand. I'll bet you would have done the same thing.

Plus, she was relaxed because she knew she had everything. A boyfriend. A guy who was giving her attention. She won no matter what happened.

And she acted interested because she knows that the way to get her boyfriend's attention is when other guys make him jealous.

Clever, isn't she?

QUESTION:

Last night, for my buddy's birthday, we all went out to a strip club. It was fun of course, but I came to realize something. When one of the dancers was on stage and all the guys were waving dollar bills, we locked eyes and while everyone else was staring at her body, I only locked eyes with her. And I held her gaze for a few good minutes.

She then came over and danced in front of me when everyone else was waving money in her face, she basically ignored them and danced in front of me the entire time almost. I never once looked away from her eyes.

After she was done, she personally came over and thanked me. I didn't really know why at the time, but now that I think about it, I believe it was because of the strong eye contact. I think this may have been a big flaw of mine the entire time with past women.

To you, how important is it to hold a woman's gaze when communicating with her? I feel I need to pay more attention to this instead of letting my eyes wonder all over her body. Is strong eye contact that important where it helps makes a woman feel that much more attracted to you?

- P.R.

CARLOS SEES THAT ALL THE OTHER GUYS ARE DAZED LOOKING INTO HER HEADLIGHTS:

Well, dude... you just discovered TWO things about women through a practical in-the-field demonstration.

What? You didn't notice?

Let's start with ...

1. Women are drawn intensely to strong eye contact.

The ability to hold good eye contact actually translates into a statement of your confidence and social strength. A woman can make direct interpretations as to your suitability as a mate by your ability to lock eyes with her.

You'll see this all the time in animal behavior. The dominant animal is able to stare down any animal in the pack that might threaten his (or her) leadership. Males also stare at the females that they desire, and by her reaction they can figure out where they stand. This goes back to a time when we didn't have language to use for communication. We started out communicating purely with body language.

Eye contact is a challenge, and the most intense and detailed form of body language. It's a way of silently meeting two personalities.

Reading a person's eyes is a critical technique to develop, since the eyes are truly the window to the soul.

2. Women are challenged by men who are different.

By not staring at her boobs or her body, you made her feel completely different than any of the guys in that place. She felt that you saw something in her beyond her physical beauty. You were meeting her on another level.

These sausage farmers were all busy getting freaky and acting stupid like teenage high school boys because there was a naked woman in the room, while you were focused and self-disciplined. You were DIFFERENT.

The two of these factors put together drove this stripper nuts for you, and you gained her respect.

I went to a friend's bachelor party a couple years back. We went to a high-class strip joint in San Francisco. I had some fun buying my friend some lap dances and such. I got a few for grins, until I talked to one of the girls there who I found out was from my home town. We talked for a while, and I eventually got her to spend time with me without her needing any of my money, just based on my attention to HER.

Not on her body.

I stood out from the other guys in that place because I wasn't a walking hard-on. (And I used the supplemental techniques I cover with you in the e-books to build rapport with her.)

So to answer your question, it is VERY important to hold strong eye contact while talking to a woman.

Now, as I like to say, don't turn on your Manson Lamps. That's another way of saying "crazy stare." If you've ever seen pictures of Charles Manson, you've seen what a disturbing stare he gives.

You want to have good eye contact that says you're really SEEING her, but at the same time, don't look psycho. She'll break it from time to time, and you should break it once in a while, too, but not out of nervousness. Do it to give her a break from the intensity.

I cover this and many other topics in my e-books and audio. And if you're reading this and thinking that you'd like to learn more about how the real players get the women, you can download them right away.

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Get my books, read them, review the strategies, and put it to work for you right away.

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Put this link in your browser to download it (you may have to put www. in front of it): datingdynamics.com

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Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set (you may have to put www. in front of it): alphaseduction.com

ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

We've been going strong with this series for over a year and a half now. That's nineteen months of accurate, timely advice.

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Put this link in your browser to check it out (you may have to put "w w w" in front of it): datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm

There are dozens of guys out there trying to pull in a fast buck selling you their books on fast seduction and the like. And some of them are decent quality books. But a LOT of them are just a waste of time. I think you guys can tell I'm not pulling your leg here.

I'm in this to help you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there ANYTHING more important?

Time is running short for all of us, no matter how young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).

Remember life is too short, and death is too long.

Don't wait until your heart is broken before you take steps to learn how this game is played.

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, sex, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then our e-books will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years.

I remember when this realization hit me, and how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it.

All my experience ... my heart and soul is in these e-books and audio programs. I just know you'll enjoy them.

I'll be back with more advice this week...

This is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!

- Carlos

To read all the reviews and download the books and audio, go here:

alphaseduction.com
datingdynamics.com
seductionmethod.com

The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.

Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.

It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.

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