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CARLOS XUMA - DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 2:30 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Hi
I am a recent subscriber of your E Book, Really Interesting and Useful and also give me confidence and Positive thinking,Thanks a lot...
I am a Clerk in an independent Convienient store in Fl and I have a lot of Chances to meet girls in the stores untill now I ve been a very nice person thiniking that that will attract them and I can find someone good, but It lead me to Disappointment and I am tired of trying that I have Implemented your Advise and working on which is Really working , But I dont have the proper words or Ideas to Flirt with them. Everyone comes to the C store are good and I have a good chance to meet and I dont wanna loose it, Please give me some Ideas , suggestions to flirt and how to talk to them.
And also I am New to this Country and State and Culture So kindly give me your valuable advise.
S from FL
CARLOS:
Here's what you do:
Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper. (Or do this on your computer, if you want to feel "high-tech").
Take 5 minutes to list all the situations you find yourself in with a woman on the job.
Examples:
1) Buying a coffee
2) Buying gas
3) Using the restroom
Etc.
Now what could you say in each situation that would be "flirtatious"? (Or, as I preach, teasing...)
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1) Coffee: "Hey, you know I heard that drinking too much coffee in the morning could make you drive too fast. Do I need to alert the highway patrol?"
2) Gas: "Are you the one driving the Ferrari? The Porsche? The Lamborghini? What? You don't have an expensive sports car that breaks down every 10 miles? I'm afraid I can't serve you." With a smile.
3) Restroom: "Watch out for the monkey," you say as you hand her the key. She'll either look at you weird or say "huh?" You say, "Yeah, just ignore my pet monkey. I keep him in there to keep the bathrooms clean, but he usually just sits in there and reads comic books." (If she doesn't laugh, pause quietly and say, "I was kidding. Lighten up.") With a smirk.
I just made those up in a couple minutes. Freebies.
Also, watch a little of the trashy television programming we have here in this country. I don't usually recommend this, but since you're new here, it will allow you to pick up on the quirks and humor in our culture. Consider it a graduate class in American pop culture.
Pick up a few of the magazines on the shelf there and use the headlines as flirt tools. "Do you think Ben Affleck should just drown Jennifer Lopez and get it over with? Aren't you tired of hearing about them all the time?"
Now you do the work you need to and memorize them, and invent at least a few of your own. Try them. If they work, keep 'em. If they don't, chuck 'em. Your words will always work better than mine if you can cop the right attitude.
Trial and error, and you'll get to the goal.
But do the work you must to get there.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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QUESTION:
I may have gotten your ebooks too late, I have already made some mistakes. I have an emotional investment (I know, mistake, I got the ebooks too late!) with this girl I met online back in december and we've been on 4 dates now recently, the past 4 weekends. But I am fearing becoming a "best friend."
She was doing the "I think it was meant to be that our paths have crossed" thing but things aren't moving along during dates, physical contact has been limited to minor hand holding a just hugs. I think she's starting to see me as her best friend, and I have no interest in this. I need to somehow send her the message that I'm not interested in being friends, I only want a relationship.
I think I'm going to take a signficant risk soon and do the first kiss thing, I think thats the only way I can send this message of I don't want to be best friends, do you agree? Can you think of another approach or test?
I am having a very difficult time being "funny" for her. She has a typical female "silly" type sense of humor that is politically correct and doesn't cut someone down. I'm a corporate america type humor guy, which is male dominated and completely based on cutting people down, ripping on other people, and humor at the expense of others.
I know from your audio coaching and just common sense so I bite my lip anytime I think of something funny to say because its always a "slam" joke and girls hate that. The net result is that I'm not funny for her, the silly thing doesn't come naturally for me but I can learn quickly. Are there some books you could recommend for me that have tips or can advise me on how to be "clean/silly' funny for girls?
Thank you for any of your suggestions in advance.
-R
CARLOS:
First of all, it's NEVER too late. It's only too late if you never LEARNED anything from the books.
"Too late" thinking is scarcity thinking. And I'll caution you the way I would any other guy - don't place too much importance on ONE woman. It's distorted thinking, and it perpetuates the belief that there are only so many women in the world you'd be able to be with. There are MANY, and that will open up for you now that you have the e-books.
I think you're right that you didn't amp up the charge between you two at the start. You're in danger of becoming terminal "friends."
If she's talking romantically, but not taking any action or there's a lack of fire and heat, this is usually the case.
If you haven't done so, you need to start increasing the charge between you right away. Start with some nice teasing and joking with her. Get her out someplace fun and non-standard. (Drop the dinner and flowers thing if you've even gone there.)
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The only thing I'd caution you about is that you don't want to wait too long before that kiss, but you do want to set the right precedent for it. In other words, don't wait around for it to happen, but MAKE it happen, and do it in a way that you'll be pretty sure she'll return it.
There are a few tests for this you can do, like the one in the book, as well as testing her by watching her reaction when you whisper something to her.
But on the topic of humor, you've got a great place to start to work her attraction. Women love humor.
The trick of being funny is not trying TOO hard. Most guys think they've got to be a Jim Carrey to be effective with women, but the truth is that women WANT to laugh, and will help you wherever possible. (Unless you're REALLY lame.) They laugh at some pretty dumb stuff. In fact, I've got a joke going with the girl I'm seeing that I'm going to throw her some occasional dumb jokes on occasion, and she's just going to HAVE to appreciate them.
Do you hear the attitude in that?
Do you smell what I'm cooking here?
First, no dirty jokes. I'll assume this is common understanding for most guys. Suggestive jokes can be good, at the right time, but avoid joke-telling period, unless you're good at it.
Second, just observe what's going around you
Third, use exaggeration. Take something to a silly extreme for comedic affect.
Example: She's a lawyer and you're eating lunch. The fries taste strange. (Or they don't and you can pretend.) "Hey, these French fries taste weird. I think they cooked them in motor oil. Can we sue for that? Would you represent me? Or are you going to pass me off to Johnny Cochran?"
Example: Her car is big. "Wow, this thing is bigger than Arnold's Hummer. You ever think about getting it converted to a Limo? I guess that would mean shrinking it a little, but you get what I mean."
Take something to the extreme and find something to compare it to for silly affect. Easy tool for humor.
The best humor merely points out the things that are already obvious, but no one knows how to notice and point out in the right way.
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Even if you're not the funniest guy, you can still pick up on what's going on around you for laughs. Just avoid the negative "angry" humor, and PAY ATTENTION. The funniest stuff is already happening around you every day. You only need to train yourself to spot it.
Let me ask you something -
Wouldn't you like to have enough women in your life that you aren't scared about losing any particular one?
Wouldn't you like to have a dating and seduction life of ABUNDANCE, where you never feel as if you're desperate or needy?
There is a cure for this.
Would you like a vaccination that will cure your potentially terminal case of "One-itis"?
It's called getting the TRUTH.
Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.
Have you tried buying her dinners and flowers?
Have you tried confessing your feelings?
Wouldn't you like to know why that didn't work for you? (And never will...)
I can tell you why, and it's all in my e-book - The Dating Black Book. you can download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
Wouldn't you like to know:
... when a woman is playing you or REALLY interested?
... how to stop being strung along for months and months by women, and how to turn them on to you instead of being turned into another girlfriend?
... how to meet MORE hot women?
... how do you get them attracted to you right from the start?
... how to stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
These were questions I wanted answers to for YEARS, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed, I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else. (I started this before there was an Internet, but not TOO long before. :)
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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When I got as much information as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying things and experimenting. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got LAID. I watched why people did things and noticed how they influenced how other people perceived them.
I have spent years and YEARS out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why you should have to.
Really, do you want to go through 2004 without this powerful knowledge? Do you want ANOTHER year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
It's March already. How much better are you than when the year started?
You see, I believe that EVERY man deserves to have a woman by his side ... and three or four if he so desires. I've devoted my life to helping people and training them to more and better success.
I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.
"Thank you, Carlos, for putting the Dating Black Book together.... Instead of promising supersonic seduction with canned speeches, you tell it like it is so you can get results by being yourself � thank you... I have spent hundreds of dollars on other 'information' and yours covers the most topics ... no theory-only B.S. here.
"It would take you hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars and lots of heartache to figure out what Carlos has done for you. If you have ever wondered why the jerks get all the girls - you need this book."
C - Milwaukee, WI
The top-down strategies are EXACTLY what the Dating Dynamics e-book (and audio series) will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can AMPLIFY these "ALPHA MAN" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it RIGHT, from the start?
Get understanding so that you can make 2004 the year you took care of yourself and started being REALLY successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
Seize this opportunity. It's time to start WINNING.
/ebookstore.htm
Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 6 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit... with the rest of our special guest interview with Cathy, who tells you from the women's point of view exactly what they want from men. Go to the web page to hear a 3 minute excerpt from the program.
Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprogram.htm
-Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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