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CARLOS XUMA -
DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Friday, 12:20 AM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Carlos,
I have recently bought The Alpha Man CDs and I am very serious about shaking this stench of "Nice Guy" off of me. The strange thing is that last night I was with a gal and I ended up being nice. I just went her way a little too much and I left her house after I complemented her by saying "you look very sexy tonight" and felt this feeling of "yuckness" all the way home. I think I did this because I have been very cocky and funny with her and almost never let her get her way so I was feeling the pressure of the culture thing that says - you had better be nice to the girl".
In an attempt to recover from this "nice" comment - I sent the following text message when I got home. "See I can be nice. You maybe sexy but you are still a brat. Have a good time in Dallas this weekend". She has heard me tease her before about being a brat - so she shouldn't be too shocked by the mail. Anyways, am not so much asking for how to fix this one but for future knowledge. Is there a decent recovery method for slipping into a temporary nice mode.
Robert
CARLOS:
As much as I want to have something nice and gentle and politically correct to say to you, I don't.
Lets put it this way - you're doing good. Awesome in fact. You have the right materials (my Alpha Program) and you're doing good with the basic part.
Now we just have to cure you of your recidivism.
OOH, big word.
That just means slipping back into old bad behaviors.
Let me put it this way...
Let's say you own a car body repair shop. Some dude keeps bringing you his Jeep that's just beat all to shit. Now, as this is your business, you'll keep fixing it for him. No problem.
In fact, every time he brings it to you, he says that he was doing so good keeping it on the road, but eventually, he always manages to run it off the road into a tree. He asks you what he needs to do about it after the fact.
But somewhere along the line, you know that the only thing you can tell him is this:
STOP CRASHING THE DAMN CAR!
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There's nothing you can do afterwards. The damage is done.
In fact, if you try to fix it after you've wrecked the vehicle of your Alpha Posture, you'll just make yourself look more like a pussy.
Just stop making the mistake in the first place.
Capisce?
Need another metaphor?
It's like the guy that keeps coming to you for a hangover remedy, and the problem isn't that his head hurts or his belly is quivering like a pound of jello. He wants a cure for his own lack of self-control.
The only cure for it is to TAKE CONTROL OF THE WHEEL.
You steer your car everywhere it goes. The same is true of your life and your interactions with women.
Okay, now that I've given you the lashing with the wet noodle, let's consider that there may be nothing wrong with giving her the occasional compliment. Just don't do it so much that you seem like you're trying to weasel your way into her affections.
Too many guys adhere to some unwritten rule that you can't compliment a woman. Even a pretty woman.
That's crap.
You just have to know HOW to compliment her. The frame you come from makes all the difference in the world.
There's nothing wrong with being "nice," as long as it doesn't compromise your dignity, your confidence, and your sense of self-worth.
Most guys who are trying to be "nice" are manipulative and deceptive. They're not "nice" at all.
If you'd like to learn more about how to get this Alpha Frame, and learn what a Nice Guy really is, take a look at the Alpha Man program.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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LIMITING BELIEFS:
I am probably not your typical client, since I am in my early forties but have missed a LOT in terms of interactions with women. Therefore my feedback may not be accurate for your typical younger clients.
My ultimate goal when I purchased your CDs was to finally get over the hump and start approaching sets of beautiful women (who are rarely alone) in upscale bars and clubs.
In fact, I have come a long way in becoming comfortable around beautiful women in the past year by reading a lot of other PU material and books on the Internet and working hard on my inner game.
I can talk to beautiful women in situations where I have a real excuse to do it, such as talking to the hottest female sales reps in the female make-up sections in upscale fashion stores.
...I just can't seem to summon the courage to get over the hump and finally approach my first set of HBs in a club. Yet I know that like all my previous limiting beliefs, this one will start to lose its power if I just approach that first set.
As an older guy approaching mature women (late twenties and thirties), I can't use the openers and gimmicks that may be OK for your very young clients who approach very young girls.
Carlos, I assume that you are in your thirties and have approached a lot of mature, intelligent and beautiful women.
Do you have any additional suggestions for a mature man on how to get over the hump and start approaching sets of mature HBs in clubs?
Thank you,
A
CARLOS:
The first step is to stop letting your age be an issue. It's only an issue because you're projecting it on the outside world. Courage to approach younger women is no different than the courage you use to approach any other women. It's all a head game of perception and projected beliefs.
You're imposing yet another limiting belief on yourself. You programmed yourself without any proof or evidence. Guys do this all the time, running imagined scenarios in their heads about what they THINK will happen.
Right now you have a limiting belief that you weren't aware of: You're waiting for the first approaches to destroy that limiting belief. The event doesn't change your thinking; only your thinking does.
Ask yourself: What will REALLY be different after that first approach?
ANSWER: Only one thing - your thinking about it. You're waiting to see it before you believe it.
In the words of Wayne Dyer, you'll see it when you believe it.
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You must go in with a strong frame. Let go of any beliefs that you need a reason to approach women.
Give yourself permission to fail.
And then make up your own excuse to talk to the ones that interest you.
Your "real excuse" is just a mental game. It doesn't exist anywhere in the real world except in your head.
I'll give you a big key to the Game: The best thing you can do is to NOT HESITATE before you approach. That's where 90% of all guys go wrong...
If you think that thinking about it will make it easier, it won't. The mistake is in having to 'summon' courage in the first place. That's starting from a faulty belief system that does not give you the power to overcome your faulty thinking.
And if you want to learn why, you need my Approach Women Now program to help you past this sticking point. I've got exercises and examples galore to get you doing the things you only fear right now....
QUESTION:
I wanted to thank you for the invite to the teleconference this past January. I found it hard to have a question because I'm not into the PUA realm yet.
See, I'm divorced twice with 4 kids in child support. I have my youngest with me on weekends, and my free time is spent at the local boxing gym. My job is [at-home job, and the hours tend to fluctuate. So I really haven't had the time to pursue the PUA lifestyle just yet.
I do spend some time at bars, go-go and such. In fact I have a date with a hot blond Russian tomorrow ( I know the dancers there, my ex-wife was a dancer...French), but for the most part I'm just doing as you suggest; getting my inner game in shape before I try to do anything like open a set on a group. I have had the opportunity to try some tactics, but for the most part, I'm more concerned about me first before them. I'm just methodical that way.
I'm doing ALOT of reading. I'm up to page 177 of the Alpha Man Ebook. I've gone through your cd's a number of times. I'm reading "how to talk to anyone-92 little tricks for big success in relationships" by Leil Lowndes. I have the "48 Laws of Power" to read. There are all these books I got from Mens Health..."Guy Q"..."Powerfood Nutrician Plan"..."10 minute workout"...etc....
I'm gonna order your "dating black book" and I'm intrigued by your "How to Approach Women" thing you're advertising.
My favorite thing about your ebooks is the completeness of philosophy, which is right up my alley. I always love to read a good quote, or anecdote. They just resonate. I never knew so much about yin/yang. This is a symbol I have tattooed in my Tribal Phoenix tatt (hence my nickname), I've always adhered to the philosophy, but never had it explained. Thanx.
Anyway, I'm here to just check in and let you know that you are my PUA sensei, and I look forward to adding more layers. What little I've done is working wonders.
Thanx Carlos,
~T
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CARLOS:
Ah, yes... I know it seems like this is just an ego post for me, but there's actually a few things I wanted to point out that other guys should note:
1) This guy is on a path of self-development.
He's working hard to make himself the kind of man that women will want, and that's important. Not to sacrifice your identity in some dysfunctional way, but to make the most of yourself and recognize that change may be uncomfortable, but it's necessary.
2) Even though his schedule isn't the most accommodating, he's still working at creating the lifestyle he wants.
He's not letting the easy excuses stop him from creating this lifestyle. Nor is he letting the fact that he's got kids stop him.
This is what I mean when I say you've got to be relentless about this stuff. Life will give you more than enough opportunity to cop out with some lame excuse about why this 'isn't you' or you 'can't do this.'
Excuses are a dime a dozen.
Alpha Men are one in a million.
I assure you success if you do what I recommend, and follow the simple strategies I've got for you.
If you want to REALLY learn how to increase your self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall self-image, you need to take a look at the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.
I wrote the book on this subject of Alpha Men (literally and figuratively) and now I want you guys to reap the benefits.
In this book, I reveal the secret that most guys out there (especially "pick up artists") don't realize.
Really, do you want to go any further without this knowledge?
This is what the other guys are using, and if you don't start learning the principles of how to create attraction, you're losing ground every day you wait.
Do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies that others have learned, the top-down strategies are exactly what my Alpha Man Program will teach you.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can amplify these"Alpha" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
If you're reading these newsletters, and you find yourself nodding your head, wishing you could figure out what the heck is going on in your own dating situation, it's time to do better.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it right, from the start?
Ask yourself: What am I waiting for?
Get understanding so that you can make 2006 the year you took care of yourself and started being really successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
https://www.alphaconfidence.com
I've even thrown in a few new extra bonuses that you're going to want to grab with these offers, too.
If you get the program right away, I'll send you the e-book RIGHT AWAY so you can get started... AND I'll even send you a link to join the Alpha Man Forum - a special user group where you can exchange information and tips with other Alpha Men.
Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
I'll be back with more advice soon ...
- Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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