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CARLOS XUMA - DATING ADVICE FOR MEN NEWSLETTER: |
The TRUTH About Dating and Attraction...
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Thursday, 8:30 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk...
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QUESTION:
Dear Carlos,
I have recently started a part time job as a science teacher in a small academy. Recently I got a chance to teach a young girl of 22. (I didn't ask her age but I think she was probably 22). Normally I teach a batch of 4-5 students but this was just a coincidence that I got to teach a lonely girl. She was not so pretty but I went ahead with the game just to test my skills with a young girl. I got this idea from one of your suggestions to be contagious to every woman you meet.
On the first day after a brief introduction and talking about family, home etc... I took the conversation off the track and started introducing the idea of s*e*x gradually.
I talked mainly of 3 things
I started talking about movies and asked if she liked watching them. As she seemed to be fond of watching them, I started describing different types of movies.... action movies, comedy movies, serious movies, classical movies, Romantic love stories, Adult movies etc.... I took care to ensure that the discussion on Love stories and adult movies is stretched as much as possible. In the end I talked briefly about blue movies and she admitted to having seen a couple of adult movies. (All this happened in the first meet).
The next day I talked briefly about her friends and as a joke I asked her if all the friends she had were girls and no boys as friends. "Don�t you have a boyfriend" was one of my questions as a joke and she responded with a big smile. Just a big smile - She did not say yes or no.
I then started talking about fashion. We had a lengthy talk on fashion and I took care to keep talking on women's fashion and how women's fashion centres around the idea of women wearing less and less clothes. I gave in my own comments that a woman's beauty lies in her body and that exposing of the body reveals her beauty that every man should adore and admire Eventually I lectured to her about swimming suits, bikinis and finally to nudity and porn magazines like playboy etc.
I then talked about our traditional way of greeting people ( Indians greet each other by folding hands and saying NAMASTAY) and started talking about an imaginary society where men and women may greet each other by kissing and how enjoyable living in that society would be.
During my 3 days with her I had talked about 4 different topics MOVIES, FASHION, FRIENDS and Way of GREETING and I was able to steer the conversation to the idea of lovemaking and s*e*x.
I would like to have your suggestions regarding different topics of discussion with a woman that can be steered towards the idea of lovemaking when you are seated in front of her so as to open her up and please do tell me if this idea is workable AND WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR FURTHER IMPROVEMENT
Thanking you
P- INDIA
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CARLOS:
You've come across an interesting situation, which definitely demands a little explanation.
Women are very verbally stimulated, which means that words are to them what images are to most men. A slow poem with erotic overtones will do more for exciting her than a ton of Playgirl magazines.
So your technique is very sound. (No pun intended.) Steering a conversation toward gradually more and more sensual topics is a way of directing the path of a possible romance, and also communicates to the woman that you're comfortable talking about these subjects. And that implies that you are experienced and knowledgeable about those same things.
The key to this is to make sure that you're not pushing her too far and too fast into talking about something she may feel uncomfortable about discussing. If she becomes conflicted inside about talking about s*e*x, then she'll more than likely NOT become turned on.
The key is to bring it up in a way that makes HER want to bring it up. The best way I've found to do this is to CHALLENGE a woman into it.
However, I also realize that there are cultural differences in what is acceptable for many women to talk about. Here in the U.S., women talk about s*e*x with men as if it were no big deal. In other countries (such as India) you will have to warm them up to it more gradually.
There are many techniques for raising their temperature. You don't have to talk about The Nasty directly to get a woman excited. You can HINT about it and have the same affect. Use the technique of double entendres. Say things that MIGHT be taken out of context.
Talk about hot exercise. Talk about sensual foods.
You get the point.
In my experience, those are the topics that are most successful, because they let HER have the freedom to interpret it in her own dirty way, instead of you forcing it on her.
Subtlety is a feather, not a sledgehammer.
Or, sometimes it's what you DON'T say that matters.
Hinting. Implying. Suggesting.
The more you leave to her imagination, the more her imagination will work for you.
But you know what? If what you're doing is working - then KEEP DOING IT. Each guy has his own style of seduction, and yours will always be personal to you. If she's more into you after all your hot talk, then great.
But by the same token, also remember: if it doesn't work, STOP DOING IT, and try something else.
Of course, this all depends on your goal for your student, you NAUGHTY teacher.
CONTINUED...
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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE...
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QUESTION:
hey
I have been doing well thanks ur incredible wisdom. I have changed my attitude and cured my self of falling for one girl and now i flirt with numerous girls and avoid becoming attached. I learn to tease a girl of their odd habits or interest. I know this one girl who likes to lick butter while we re in german class so i bought a mircowave popcorn bag and slid the bag over to her table and told her in a commanding voice "LICK" and she cracked up.
I also learned to watch stand-up comedy on friday nights on comedy central which helps me get into a humor mode and understand what makes people laugh...
And once ur first impression to a girl or anybody is that ur funny then ull always be funny. It's like they expect it out of u. sometimes, I dont even know what i did and people would just laugh. Inside jokes are always funnny the only problem with them is only one person will get it, yet the more people there are the funnier the joke seems to get. humor takes at least a year to get it straight I've started my humor career 2 years ago and will still have a dead joke once in a while but I never let it put me down. I'm not 100% sure if this is right because its really hard to explain how to be funny
question: sometimes while I'm flirting with a girl for example I've taken her pen and im teasing her with it cuz she wants it back some inexperience guy or sometimes a girl would go "dude, just give the pen back" or say how immature i am and i have no choice but to give the pen back cuz if i go on ill look even more like a jackass thanks to the 3rd person who doesnt get it and wont accept it and it just seems like a dead end what should i do in these situations especially if its another girl
this has been happening numerous times especially in a class room enviroment and its slowing my game down quite a bit prethanks
C - CA
CARLOS:
Okay, so help me understand this... you spell out words like "microwave" and "especially," but you abbreviate "your" to "ur" and "you'll" to "ull"?
Dude, time to break from the pack and stop speaking in code. :)
Seriously, the Internet is turning us all into lazy communicators. I hope you guys don't make this mistake with women.
So you want to bag the butter girl, huh?
The "take away her pen" thing is a bit - pardon my bluntness - childish. That's too grade-school. Taking things away and going "nyah-nyah-nyah" went out in the fourth grade. Your friend is interfering on your game, but you're giving him the ammo. You need to be teasing her in ways that elevate her attraction, not treat her like a six-year-old.
You've got the right attitude with your comedy, thought. You guys need to pay attention to what he's doing: Watch a LOT of comedy shows on cable if you want to develop your humor. You'll get a whole bunch of great material (I steal stuff like this all the time) and get an idea of the real NATURE of what is and isn't funny and why.
Watch the audience reactions, and especially watch the mannerisms and timing of the comedians. You'll learn a TON if you pay attention.
So, if you want to improve your game with the gals and avoid this situation where other guys block your game, you need to de-fuse the guys who do this to you. You have to learn how to put down a guy and point out his flaws to the girl without appearing insulting or confrontational.
I cover this skill in this month's Audio Coaching, and I'll be covering it in more detail in the future. The term for people that block your game like this is "cockblocker."
Humor is your best weapon, and one of your strongest allies on this battlefield, guys.
It will accelerate your game like nothing else, because you'll communicate so many things just by showing you've got a sense of humor.
The biggest one you show is that you're not the kind of guy who gets all uptight and angry every five seconds. You've got emotional armor.
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Consider this: I got a card from a gal for Valentine's Day this year, and on it she listed her top 10 reasons she liked me. "Makes me laugh" was listed THREE times.
Do you hear that message?
SENSE
OF
HUMOR
IS
IMPORTANT.
Ask any woman what they find attractive in a man, and this is ALWAYS up at the top.
Ask a woman why she likes a guy and stays with him, and I'll tell you that it's almost always because "he makes me laugh." Not the s*e*x, not the money, not the muscles.
Funny RULES.
Take the time to learn the skill of humor.
And YES, every guy can. It's a skill that you can learn. No one is a master of comedy. Hey, even Jerry Seinfeld has jokes that fall flat. We all do.
The point is to just learn a few funny stories or anecdotes, and build on it from there. Even the most UN-funny people I know have the ability to be REALLY funny. (Especially when you don't have a reputation for being funny, because it's so unexpected.)
AND, a good sense of humor will help you not take yourself so seriously, as well as find the right ways to de-fuse the cockblockers.
Let me ask you something -
Do you know the two other necessary traits that work with your humor to attract women?
Wouldn't you like to have a dating and seduction life of ABUNDANCE, where you never feel as if you're desperate or needy?
The cure for this is the TRUTH.
Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.
Have you tried buying her dinners and flowers?
Have you tried confessing your feelings?
Wouldn't you like to know why that didn't work for you? (And never will...)
I can tell you why, and it's all in my e-book - The Dating Black Book. you can download it here:
/ebookstore.htm
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Wouldn't you like to know:
... when a woman is playing you or REALLY interested?
... how to stop being strung along for months and months by women, and how to turn them on to you instead of being turned into another girlfriend?
... how to meet MORE hot women?
... how do you get them attracted to you right from the start?
... how to stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
These were questions I wanted answers to for YEARS, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed, I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else. (I started this before there was an Internet, but not TOO long before. :)
When I got as much information as I could find (and that wasn't a lot) I started trying things and experimenting. I got rejected and blasted, and occasionally I also got LAID. I watched why people did things and noticed how they influenced how other people perceived them.
I have spent years and YEARS out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why you should have to.
Really, do you want to go through 2004 without this powerful knowledge? Do you want ANOTHER year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting what you deserve?
It's March already. How much better are you than when the year started?
You see, I believe that EVERY man deserves to have a woman by his side ... and three or four if he so desires. I've devoted my life to helping people and training them to more and better success.
I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.
"Thank you, Carlos, for putting the Dating Black Book together.... Instead of promising supersonic seduction with canned speeches, you tell it like it is so you can get results by being yourself � thank you... I have spent hundreds of dollars on other 'information' and yours covers the most topics ... no theory-only B.S. here.
"It would take you hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars and lots of heartache to figure out what Carlos has done for you. If you have ever wondered why the jerks get all the girls - you need this book."
C - Milwaukee, WI
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CONTINUED...
______________________
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The top-down strategies are EXACTLY what the Dating Dynamics e-book (and audio series) will teach you. Not only do you learn what the subtle psychological aspects are, but how you can AMPLIFY these "ALPHA MAN" traits so that you are able to draw in the women that you want. The only magic you have to add to this equation is the attitude to take action.
Are you tired of finding women that seem to be interested, and then they seem to get distant and all you get is a peck on the cheek and a "let's just be friends"?
Do you want to take the woman that you've lost and get her interested again?
Do you want to make sure you handle it RIGHT, from the start?
Get understanding so that you can make 2004 the year you took care of yourself and started being REALLY successful with women.
Life is a LOT shorter than you think.
Ask yourself: Do you want to wind up in your rocking chair whining about all the things you SHOULD have done?
Seize this opportunity. It's time to start WINNING.
/ebookstore.htm
Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 6 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit... with the rest of our special guest interview with Cathy, who tells you from the women's point of view exactly what they want from men. Go to the web page to hear a 3 minute excerpt from the program.
Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.
The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at:
/audioprogram.htm
-Carlos
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The secrets of compelling communication and persuasion are easy to learn.
Most guys don't approach women because they haven't got the SKILLS to APPROACH WOMEN. Once you have them, you'll feel less anxious and you'll actually DO IT.
It's time to learn the TRUTH about women ... and attraction.
It's all about your Inner Game...
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Discover your inner Alpha Man - NOW
Click HERE to learn more...
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Listen to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating. The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the
tactics and techniques in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner game.' From
there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in this game to win it, these are the rules you need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams. I love his game, its 100% real."
- The Dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical,
valuable advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many, many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded, self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just
about anything. And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction' community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction, and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO - net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior. You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics - it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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